To be fascinated by tidy people

[tangerinemagic]

I’m just not tidy. Nor is my husband. We try. Actually very hard. We have two young children and a dog but there is literally stuff everywhere, all of the time.

I live in London, so we naturally have many parent friends right on our doorstep and there is a ‘drop in’ culture where we might wrap up a playground or common trip and head to each others houses.

Ours is not fit for that kind of spontaneity but others fling open their doors at any time and it’s like no one even lives there.

when conversations come up about chores, cleaning, tidiness, I recoil. They really are extremely tidy people and with young kids. You can’t mistake walking into a tidy persons house, it just feels, different.

The floors and sofa/furniture in our house just don’t look like theirs, even if you have a whip round and tidy you can tell.

So, tidy people, tell me, how do you do it. What are the tips. Was this nurture growing up in a tidy household? Or something you learned? AIBU to be ashamed my pram, car, house is always in need of a clean.

Following, I want to know too!

I’m a very tidy person but it comes naturally to me. Mess and clutter makes me feel down.

Storage. These are people with wall length cupboards that leaves surfaces clear.

I envy these people too...

Do you ever sit down? I often need to choose between tidying and relaxing and if I choose to tidy then the littles are up from nap time and it’s a long slog until bedtime. I will clear away food and do dishwasher but I just can’t do it all. I wonder if tidy people ever stop. In the evenings DH and me will eat and watch tv (often at same time on sofa) our dining area is not practical we just eat with kids at table but not on our own, I wonder if tidy people are just tidying all evening.

The one touch rule changes everything. I trained myself to do that because I hate clearing up, it’s so boring.

Right now we have swim bag, nappy bag, clothes I need to sort through, 3 prams, husband work bag, several pairs of shoes, toddlers bike and helmet, nursery bag all strewn in hallway on a sofa we need to sell (new furniture arrived 2 weeks ago and we haven’t taken photos to sell sofa yet). The prams need a clean. I did do about 30 min in kitchen but then came to sit down.

Throw away everything that doesn't serve a purpose or is cherished, I regularly go around with a bin bag and if I'm in doubt, it goes, and make sure every single thing has a home

The more you tidy the less time it takes, though. It’s when it spirals out of control it becomes too big to get your head around.

(As an aside, I live in London but I’ve never “naturally” had lots of parent friends in my doorstep who go round to each other’s houses all the time!)

Tried to do that but really don’t succeed. I have a tendency to throw things down as soon as we get home as kids are so full on. I need to try harder. What about clothes in bedroom? Do you hang things up once you try them on? I have so many clothes out at all times!

Also, never underestimate how much time “sit downs” swallow up. I know from my own experience that you can sit down for 10 mins but still be there an hour later 🤣.

There’s a ‘reformed messy people’ thread running on here which will give you loads of tips. But it boils down to ‘a place for everything and everything goes back into its place as soon as it’s finished with’.

So, enough storage and not too much stuff.

I think they have usually got better ability to visualise how it is supposed to look, and they have a system for how it all works.

Im not tidy or organised in this respect, and im always trying to work out wtf is wrong with me.
I watch stuff like Stacey Solomon, and I just think its about having a system now, but tbh, I couldn't look at my house and work out what I needed or what could be repurposed to where.
I dunno. Maybe its money too

You need to mercilessly declutter and declutter regularly.

Well I arranged to go for a walk with a mum friend and she was ready before me so just knocked on the door, she had messaged but I didn’t see, then as we stepped out it started to rain so I awkwardly had to invite her in and I was so embarrassed. There wasn’t loads of stuff everywhere but the floor and highchair were Mucky.

I can’t sit down until things are tidy. It is inbuilt

Isn’t that the point 🤣 how does one mentally and physically recharge with a young family on a bank holiday?? These mums must just never sit down. I can’t understand it!

It sounds like you need less stuff and more storage as a first step.

Why do you have three buggies, for example?

Why are you trying them on? I only try things on if I’m decluttering and checking the fit or if I still like it otherwise I choose what I’m going to wear and out it on.

So sometimes never sitting down? My kids will be up soon and if I’d tidied everywhere I’d be so exhausted I wouldn’t have energy for the afternoon.

We both put things away when we have finished with them. Everything has a place to go away to.

In the evenings the children’s toys/consoles whatever get reset back to usual positions before we sit down and relax.

Our children have learnt to copy us. I didn’t grow up in a house as tidy as mine though.

I thought I was doing ok...my house is clean enough....its not hugely cluttered but when you walk in its obvious people live there. But I went to a woman's house a while back...she has three teenagers...well I was flabbergasted. There was absolutely zero sign that they existed. It was a total show home. I have two teens, if you came round, you might see a hoodie draped over a kitchen chair, a phone charger on the side, my dds hair band on the kitchen table, my ds headphones on the side of the sofa...but her house? Nothing. I really really wanted to ask her!

If I sit down my dc swarm me "we are bored what can we do?????"

If I am cleaning they miraculously bugger off and independently play and I get to listen to podcasts and audiobooks.

I used to be quite a house proud person, grew up with it, but since having 3 kids I struggle. I have learned to accept the chaos and mess! I’m too get embarrassed when people come by unannounced.
However I do spend an hour or so after bedtime cleaning, each night I focus on a different task like clean bathrooms, vacuum etc so our house is generally clean but I wouldn’t say tidy during the day time as toys go everywhere (but it is limited to just one room only, our living room). We are thinking of changing our front room which we don’t really use to a toy room so the mess can stay contained ik there while the rest of the house is ok.

i also focus on decluttering something once per week or fortnightly.

To be honest, your situation sounds bad as it’s built up, because you never kept on top of it.

for me, my place never requires a big clean cause I maintain it enough daily.

whereas your place sounds like you need a full professional clean to reset your baseline, then you can attempt to maintain it going forward?

EG my sofa isn’t mucky and neither is my flooring, so a hoover would be more than enough to sort those out to a perfect standard. All I do with my sofa is just sort the cushions and spritz it with linen spray. Whereas if yours are still dirty after that, it suggests they need a thorough clean to get rid of all the dirt/stains/debris.

I think there is little point tidying halfway through the day tbh. It's only going to get messy again!