To be fuming DH left our 8yo to supervise the baby while he mowed the lawn??

[Erisheck]

So I popped to the shop earlier, only meant to be ten mins. Left DH at home with DCs.

Come back to find DH out the back mowing the lawn, all very pleased with himself. Meanwhile he had apparently told our 8yo DD to “keep an eye on” the baby while he did it. Baby is 16 months.

I walked in to find baby in the living room COVERED in biro scribbles. Face, arms, even a bit on her sleepsuit. DD said she was “playing schools” and DH thinks it is hilarious.

I do not. I am SO angry. Yes baby is fine but that is not the point. What if she had choked on a pen lid. What if she had fallen. An 8yo is a CHILD not a babysitter.

DH is saying I am overreacting and that it was “only 15 minutes.” I think he has lost his mind.

AIBU to be this furious?

Me too, It's so risky.
Alarming that not many mothers on this thread recognise risk.

This

YANBU - I would be furious too if my DH had left an 16 mo old unsupervised long enough to cut the grass. It’s not the job of an 8 year old to supervise a baby of that age. I’m with you - it takes a second to choke / slip etc

Delegation is not an absolution of responsibility so YANBU. If your husband left your DD 'in charge' at 8yrs old then he needed to be doing a task where he could listen out for any suspicious noises or cries and pop by every few minutes for a visual check.

In some houses with a rear living room, small garden and electric mower this night be okay but it doesn't sound like this was the case here.

You are determined to be angry and no amount of people telling you to chill out and deal with your DD using your baby as an etch a sketch is going to make you change your mind. So why bother posting? Divorce DH and pay a gardener to cut the lawn if he is that terrible.

Even if the "parent" is deaf, which he was?

No one called her an idiot – unless it was the post that has since been removed, in which case it was one person.

There's nothing wrong in questioning whether a child has SEN if she does something typical to below her developmental age – and it's a useful question as then it gives ammunition to whether the dad should have left her alone with the toddler.

If OP is annoyed at the drawing then the 8yr old has done the undesirable behaviour. If they they the little girl is apt to do these things – then the DH should know better. If it's not specifically the drawing and more at what dangers could have happened, then the drawing is a moot point anyway.

I don't think he should have left your toddler out of earshot with your 8 year old. Agreed that anything can happen and you have to be ready to jump in.

However, at 8 years old, drawing over the toddler is also completely unacceptable and doesn't show much care or consideration for the sibling.

So two problems to deal with there really.

The child that was expected to be the parent whilst the actual parent made himself deaf?

That child?

It was an idiotic thing to do and there is a fair question about SEN if an 8 year old thinks drawing over their younger sibling is in anyway acceptable...

So what if he was actually deaf?

Should deaf people not be allowed children?

Hardly no adult. An adult is still on the premises. If 2 young kids can't be left to play together for "minutes" at a time then there's something very controlling and weird going on in the house.
I assume the children are allowed to sleep without someone hovering over them ? Is the 8 year old allowed to the toilet or bath on their own? It sounds like they've literally never been out of sight of an adult their entire lives.
And not thinking an 8 year old wouldn't know better really just shows how strangely they're being raised. That 8 year old just sounds weird, like she's being kept like a baby on purpose.
My 8 year old got himself ready for school and walked there.

Dear god. OP you are right to be furious. All these pp would be saying the opposite if your post said that the child was harmed while being looked after by a 8 year old. They would all say totally unreasonable that the DH left the child with an 8 year old. You are also completely right about he shower being ok where they are upstairs and the door is open..completely different..please look at the responses that agree with you, not the ones that don't. Obviously the 8 year old should not have drawn on the baby but you didn't ask for opinions about that and you have said you are going to deal with it..Mumsnet is an odd place

Maybe wait 10 mins for OP to return?

Whilst in charge of a toddler?

Some couples are both deaf...

The 8 year old wasn't parenting or in charge etc

It was at most going to ve 10 minutes

They were literally just left to play together

It's not like OP was out and DH decided he had to go to the shops half an hour away and left them. 8 year old wasn't having to prepare dinner or bath them or be solely responsible with no adults around at all

And I bet they don't go out into the garden leaving the child to parent a toddler.

There's just no excuse for this.

Haven’t read the whole thread, but a lot of these replies are batshit OP. My dad picked his baby sister up from nursery on the bus when he was eight, and they both survived, but that doesn’t mean it was sensible. It was different times, and it was essential, because his mum and dad both worked so what else could they do? This was not essential. I would’ve been just as angry as you. Why risk it? If anything had happened your 8-year-old would carry that for the rest of her life. Utter madness.

Asking an 8yo to look after their sibling whole you perform a short task around the house is no big deal. Clearly in this case the 8yo was not up to the task, but in general it is fine.

Your argument about leaving them is about not hearing them

For deaf parents, they can't hear their child. Do you expect them to stand and watch them none stop every hour of the day?

It was left alone for 10 minutes to play whilst Dad was outside, not left to feed and bathe the toddler whilst Dad went to the pub!

No wonder young people can't do anything for themselves...

No matter how much you try to deflect, it was dangerous and risky.
Not a risk I or any parent I know, would take.

🙄🙄🙄

Plenty of us agree with the OP, maybe 50%, so it’s hardly a blanket MN says YABU?

Or is this like Brexit where the 1% suddenly becomes a decisive majority?

10 mins? Yes, your u year old should have managed without drawing on your baby.

Your DH did nothing wrong.