To be fuming DH left our 8yo to supervise the baby while he mowed the lawn??

[Erisheck]

So I popped to the shop earlier, only meant to be ten mins. Left DH at home with DCs.

Come back to find DH out the back mowing the lawn, all very pleased with himself. Meanwhile he had apparently told our 8yo DD to “keep an eye on” the baby while he did it. Baby is 16 months.

I walked in to find baby in the living room COVERED in biro scribbles. Face, arms, even a bit on her sleepsuit. DD said she was “playing schools” and DH thinks it is hilarious.

I do not. I am SO angry. Yes baby is fine but that is not the point. What if she had choked on a pen lid. What if she had fallen. An 8yo is a CHILD not a babysitter.

DH is saying I am overreacting and that it was “only 15 minutes.” I think he has lost his mind.

AIBU to be this furious?

This. I never showered in this situation.
An 8 year old should be able to mind a toddler for a short while.
The drawing all over her is very strange though, I agree with pp. Unusual for an 8 year old.

Wow. I'm clearly out of step with the majority and I thought I was the most laid back parent ever!

No way would I leave an 8yo to look after a toddler for 15 minutes whether mowing the lawn or.showering. A stationary baby maybe, but not a toddler. Just not worth the risk.
The most I would do would be in the next door room but popping in regularly to check.

Op - AIBU
Yes
Op - no I’m not

Why bother posting if you don’t think you are being unreasonable op?
You are allowed to feel how you feel, that is totally up to you, regardless of what others think but if you are so sure of yourself don’t waste other posters time when you already think you know the answer

16 months is a toddler, not a small baby.

I'm with you. All 8 year olds are different and we know - we KNOW - they lack impulse control. Apparently so does you OH. I'd be pretty pissed off with him as well.

Even worse that it's a toddler. Hard enough for an adult to keep up with them at times. At least babies stay on one place.

Another one here who can’t see the problem with leaving an 8 year old inside with a toddler in a safe space aka their own house whilst you mow the lawn, how do you think single parents manage? Your 8 year old needs to be told off for drawing on their sibling, that’s all

The baby was 16 months old not a 'small baby', if that makes a difference to your view

Amazing that the 8 year old is to be held more accountable for the adult man 😆

When it's one adult with a toddler they take the toddler with them.

DH just couldn't be bothered to parent for 10 minutes.

An eight year old should be more than capable of sitting in the same room with their toddler sibling for 15 minutes without drawing all over them with biro.

So yes, if the 8yo was mine they'd be getting a proper telling off. It wouldn't even occur to me to be angry at my husband.

Just like OP can't be bothered to parent when she does the same thing every time she has a shower, right?

Yes, that would be my approach.

@Erisheck the pertinent question here is: why did your lawn urgently need mowing at the exact same time your two children needed looking after because you were unavailable? And I think we all know the answer to that don’t we? So let’s not put the blame on a little girl. 16 month old mobile toddlers are very hard work and too much responsibility for an 8 year old. Imagine how she would feel if her sibling came to any harm?

Have to agree with the first comment (and many other PP).

At 8, my parents left my 1 year old sister for an entire afternoon whilst they did the big grocery shop. I was also helping with basic tasks around home by then including some caring duties for baby sister.

Unless your DD has learning difficulties or is very young for her age, I don’t think was unreasonable for DH to think he could entrust this task to her.

Their dad is more than capable of just doing what their mother asked of him.

Similar to the age gap between my middle and youngest and I’ve left mine to watch his brother at similar ages whilst I’ve hung out washing, showered and cut the front lawn. All probably 10 minute jobs where I am within earshot and at no time did my middle child allow my smallest to do anything remotely silly.
An 8 year old is definitely old enough to keep an eye on a 16 month old when their parent is doing something not in eye shot.

OP says she regularly leaves her kids unattended while she showers - so I assume you feel the same way about her as you do about her husband?

After all, a shower can wait, no?

I think DH should have waited until I got back. It wasn’t urgent to mow the lawn right at that moment. That’s what frustrates me most. He just doesn’t think these things through and then I’m left being “the nag” for pointing it out.

I can’t believe how many posters are dismissing this and missing the point. An 8 year old is NOT responsible enough to look after a baby - as demonstrated here! It’s almost as if he couldn’t stand to look after the baby for even ten minutes so he delegated the task to the nearest female, even though she’s only 8!

It depends on where they are left and what’s within reach of the 16 month old I suppose? I think it’s possible to secure an area so that choking isn’t a risk. Mainly was saying leaving them alone to cut the grass is unreasonable anyway rather than particularly advocating for leaving them alone to shower.

But OP regularly leaves her 8yo "in charge" while she showers. |

I guess my point was that (IMO) OP is being a massive hypocrite by regularly leaving her kids unsupervised while she showers, but objecting to her DH doing it once while he mows the lawn.

Either it's okay for them to be left unattended or its' not. She can't do it herself while kicking up a fuss at her DH doing it.

So your DH needed to look after the baby for 10/15 mins and he decided to delegate that to an 8 yo?

So he could get his job of mowing the lawn done in that time, and then presumably he expected to be able to relax?

YANBU OP.

I sometimes find responses on MN really odd. Yes it’s not the end of the world to let an 8 yo mind a baby for a short time, but I wouldn’t leave them alone whilst doing a noisy job like mowing the lawn, and also not if the other parent was only out for a short time. A SAHP asking the 8 yo to keep an eye on the baby in the same room/ room that could be seen and heard whilst they just got the dinner on I can understand.

This is funny, and no harm no foul

OP regularly leaves her kids alone while she showers, though, which is fairly noisy in itself and she would be equally oblivious if her toddler choked or her 8yo got a biro out and started scribbling everywhere.