MIL bathing habits

[Bitesize89]

My in laws come to stay with us pretty frequently and I've noticed over time that mil never bathes when she comes. She can be here 3-4 days without a shower or bath. It recently was revealed that she only ever uses baths and no soap in her bath. This came up after she bagged my DD and didn't use any soap on her and she said well there was bubble bath in the water, I was shocked as I don't think that's a proper way to bathe and she said when she bathes she doesn't use soap and only bubble bath. So not only does she not bathe for days on and but when she bathes she just has a bubble bath and no soap.im really grossed out.

You do realise there are people for whom the cost of a shower is prohibitive and they can’t afford to shower every day?

It’s not ageist. It was a fact of the times. People didn’t waste water. People only bathed occasionally. People didn’t have baths and showers in their houses as commonly as we do now.

Also. When I had a bad accident, I couldn’t get myself into the shower. I had to wait until I had help. I wasn’t eligible for carers so I had to strip wash on the days I didn’t have anyone to help me.

I was clean. I made sure of it.

I honestly don’t think you realise how privileged you are.

Omg bubble bath is a type of wash, It sets up with soap bubbles because there's soap in it, if she's not smelly and dirty looking then why do you care, seems a little petty to me

Chemicals are bad. If she doesn't stink, why care?

Not your business. Butt out.

That’s a very different situation isn’t it. Nobody is commenting on that sort of thing. But seeing as OP’s MIL is an able bodied woman, she should be showering!

I grew up in mainland Europe (North) where when it was -35c all water would be frozen, I was just a child l,when i carried bucket after a bucket of snow in to heat on a large iron plate (of a while bucket of snow like 15pcnt was water in the end, all that for about 2 hrs before school from 5am ) and when i eventually got to have a bath it was still lukewarm at best. I washed every day without a fail- so people who dont gave daily wash with hot water on tap-yikes.

Has the op said if she’s able bodied?

even if ostensibly able bodied she may struggle with the shower - getting in and out of it if it is over the bath, not knowing how to work it.

I have health issues and I don’t like to be naked and vulnerable in someone else’s house. I’m ok in my kids houses if their partners aren’t there, but I wouldn’t have a shower if their partners were in the house at the time in case I fell and needed help whilst naked.

In that situation, I’d strip wash and shower when their partner wasn’t in the house.

I find this grim. But my toddlers also shower and nobody in our house takes a bath because unless you go in clean it’s washing in your dirty bath water and germs. Never thought about it till a relative had repeated c diff infections from only taking baths because they were essentially never actually getting clean :/ and getting the bacteria all over themselves. I now can’t help but think of poo germs in a bath.

Seeing as she’s bathing young children you’d hope so!

im not sure what sort of dangers you think present in someone else’s shower? But I think I’m out of this thread because some of the lengths people are going to to excuse not showering is just insane

It was the same for me in the '60s and '70s. However, we did have a stand-up wash of 'all the important bits' on a daily basis. I'm assuming that this is what the MIL is doing.

We live in an area of England where water charges are amongst the highest in the country. Our monthly charge for (unmetered) water for April 2025 - April 2026 was set to be £120 a month. We decided to have a meter installed in March.

Now we are metered, we are not going to start having daily showers or baths because some people in this thread consider that not having a daily shower or bath is "grubby" or "gross". (We don't have a proper shower installed anyway, just a mixer showerhead over the bath for which you have to regulate the temperature yourself.)

I’m not able bodied but I’m still capable of bathing a child - I don’t think I could bath a baby in a normal bath but I could definitely bath a child who just needed help but could climb in and out themselves.

I explained. I have frequent falls (due to the not being able bodied thing) and I’d not have a shower in my kids houses when their partners were in the house, as I said already, because if I fell I’d need help whilst naked and I wouldn’t want their partners to see that. I’d be embarrassed.

It's generally called 'bath and shower gel' these days so in the shower it's used like liquid soap and can be used either same way or as bubble bath in bath. I think that's legitimate usage. However, when I have a bubble bath I do also wash using bar soap. I don't think everyone does though.

"But seeing as OP’s MIL is an able bodied woman, she should be showering!"

Jeez!

If she doesn’t smell what business is it if yours….maybe she washes her ‘bits’ daily…..I also think it’s fine to bath without soap especially if she has bubble bath…I don’t do it but it obviously works if she doesn’t smell and still doesn’t smell after 3-4 days…..you come across as a bit nasty and as having too much time on your hands

"But I think I’m out of this thread because some of the lengths people are going to to excuse not showering is just insane"

I'm out, too. Fucking shower police!

Really, you are comfortable to stay at their house for 4 days but draw the line at showering???

Why should she be showering, despite what people are saying baths alone are perfectly fine unless you are absolutely rank getting in which most people aren’t

As long as you don't let that puddle water anywhere near your genitals. They're self cleaning you know! Like those fancy new ovens.

Because sitting in a hot tub of water is not the same as actively using soap to wash yourself

I like to shower, but usually have a bath once a week. I think one gets much cleaner in the bath.

Why are you talking about my knickers? Is there something wrong with you?

People are gross as you can see on the thread.
im not sure why but in this country people bath ‘every other day’ and think they are clean.
also the excuse of a clean bath is bad for your skin. They wash their ‘bits’ in the sink and think that’s hygienic.