Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL bathing habits

653 replies

Bitesize89 · 25/08/2025 06:56

My in laws come to stay with us pretty frequently and I've noticed over time that mil never bathes when she comes. She can be here 3-4 days without a shower or bath. It recently was revealed that she only ever uses baths and no soap in her bath. This came up after she bagged my DD and didn't use any soap on her and she said well there was bubble bath in the water, I was shocked as I don't think that's a proper way to bathe and she said when she bathes she doesn't use soap and only bubble bath. So not only does she not bathe for days on and but when she bathes she just has a bubble bath and no soap.im really grossed out.

OP posts:
sorrynotathome · 25/08/2025 07:49

Leave her alone! She has survived this long without spontaneously combusting for lack of soap.

NotPerfectlyAdverage · 25/08/2025 07:52

ExeterTwo · 25/08/2025 07:06

some kids with eczema don't use soap

I have only rarely used soap on my kids either. They just sit in the bath for ages slashing about. They use shampoo. Because as said there's being some hideous exzama. They don't smell.

NetZeroZealot · 25/08/2025 07:52

You don’t use soap and bubble Bath together, or the soap makes the bubbles melt.

Phatgurslyms · 25/08/2025 07:52

ExtraOnions · 25/08/2025 07:02

Why are you grossed out, does she smell?

Lots of people shower everyday … but you don’t “need” to. Unless you are particularly hot & sweaty, you can go a good few days without smelling.

When I was a kid, in the 70s|80s, we got a bath once a week …and if my Dad ran it, you got 2 inches of water, as that’s what they had “in the war”

Perhaps we are all different but I can’t go a few days without smelling. I need to shower every day. And it makes me feel good.

Gagamama2 · 25/08/2025 07:54

Like others have said, bubble bath is soap and is fragranced so someone coming out of a bubble bath will be clean and smell lovely. Also if your child is young enough to still be bathed by someone then it’s v unlikely they actually smell at the end of each day as opposed to just needing a wipe to get dirt off. Which bubble bath is fine to do. I would use a flannel or sponge with it though.

I thought you were going to say she was showering with no soap or gel, and that she smelled. Not sure what your issue is!

Wolfpa · 25/08/2025 07:55

Bubble bath is soap. Everyone needs something different when it comes to their bodies, does your MIL smell when she is around you?

Ginmonkeyagain · 25/08/2025 07:55

Umm, bubble bath IS soap. As long as she is giving "pits and bits" a good scrub while in the bath, bathing in warm soapy water is unlikely to be "gross".

DaisyChain505 · 25/08/2025 07:57

It’s not uncommon for older people to wash less. It’s only the latest generations who are obsessed with showering every day.

MrsDoubtfire1 · 25/08/2025 08:01

Depends what age she is. Some much older people do a strip wash everyday as that is how they were brought up. Does she smell? Does she have sensitive skin areas where soap may affect a skin condition etc? Don't be too judgmental. If she does smell perhaps get her some lovely soaps for gifts and tell her how much you love them and how the scent lingers. She may think you stink of cheap body spray and may be too polite and say nothing. Who knows?!

CaptainMyCaptain · 25/08/2025 08:03

helpfulperson · 25/08/2025 07:21

Bubble bath is a form of soap, have a look at the ingredient lists.

This. You don't need soap with bubble bath.

AxolotlEars · 25/08/2025 08:04

Does she smell? Yes...tell her. No...then it's no big deal.
I wouldn't shower at someone else's house either, if I was there that length of time. I'd shower before I left my house and when I arrived home.
Many older people were brought up on sink washes every day and baths once a week. If I showered every day my hair and skin would be horrific.

JLou08 · 25/08/2025 08:05

As you are shocked by this she must not smell. A weekly bath was normal for older generations. Stop being so judgemental.

ParmaVioletTea · 25/08/2025 08:05

If she doesn’t smell of body odour it’s really none of your business. And bubble bath is just liquid soap so I’m sure your daughter will survive a few baths by her grandmother.

Sundaykitchen · 25/08/2025 08:07

How old is she? I know my parents found it hard to bath or shower when they got to 80 and they were scared of falling. They would wash every day at the sink.

JustMyView13 · 25/08/2025 08:07

For me, I don’t feel as though bubble bath gets you clean. I use a soap in addition, but mainly shower anyway.
That said I suspect this is up there with the debate as to whether people wash their legs and feet in the shower (of course!) or allow the soap to run off down their legs and past their feet and consider that clean.

NegroniMacaroni · 25/08/2025 08:09

There's no need to use soap at all, water is enough.

Brunettesmorefun · 25/08/2025 08:09

DaisyChain505 · 25/08/2025 07:57

It’s not uncommon for older people to wash less. It’s only the latest generations who are obsessed with showering every day.

This is so true. My mum only had a bath once a week if that and she always smelled lovely!

CreteBound · 25/08/2025 08:09

Bubble bath is the same as soap more or less

Lillers · 25/08/2025 08:10

Maybe your bath is difficult for her to get in and out of. When my mum stays here she asks to use the shower in our en suite because the edge of the bath in our main bathroom is too high for her to step over.

Blinkingbother · 25/08/2025 08:11

Bubble bath IS soap. I only use soap on my pits, using soap on your bits is generally not advised as it can alter ph/cause irritation. And I regularly don’t shower every day (though I definitely do if I’ve exercised more than walking). But that is my personal choice, and others are free to theirs. I don’t smell, and my Dh/kids would def tell me if I did! Your dc’s skin certainly does not require an extra soaping - unless it is medicated/prescribed for some reason?

Bitzee · 25/08/2025 08:12

Bubble bath IS soap and perfectly fine for a small child.

MIL is probably having a strip wash with a flannel instead of a shower/bath. It’s pretty common for the older generation that grew up with weekly baths. If she doesn’t smell then what’s the issue?

cramptramp · 25/08/2025 08:14

I don’t have a shower when I go to stay with my MIL. I just have a wash every day. That’s what your MIL is doing.

Waterbaby41 · 25/08/2025 08:15

How do you not know that bubble bath is made from soap?

DarkForces · 25/08/2025 08:16

Of all the reasons to dislike your mil, picking on her bathing habits seems particularly petty. She's been keeping herself clean for decades more than you and presumably doesn't smell unpleasant. I've never given my mil's showering habits a thought, let alone a second one.

BogRollBOGOF · 25/08/2025 08:17

It's only the latest generations that have had the opportunity to shower every day.

Avaliability to shower phased in through the 80s/ 90s with modern housing or expensive upgrades. Many people would still have been using baths only in that era, and running a bath every day for the sake of it is wasteful of water and its heating. Strip washes are good for targeting the sweatier parts of the body and often more effective than people standing around in a shower and squirting a bit of shower gel around.

University around the Millennium was the first time I had access to a shower; modern halls with en-suite pods. My childhood was still the era of the weekly bath, with additional washes as needed. My skin and hair are both quite dry so don't need default washing at high frequency (but will have additional washes as needed)

Water is a precious resource after a very dry, warm year. For people who don't need to shower (children & older people tend to produce much less body odour) not wasting water on performative showering is good news for our depleted reservoirs. (Also re-wearing worn, but clean clothing that passes the sniff test to reduce excessive laundry)

There isn't one set standard on appropriate cleanliness. There is a range of personal need.

Swipe left for the next trending thread