Aibu to write this guy off our first night together?

[KookySnail]

I’m considering c

What’s that saying “no one is nicer to you than a man who hasn’t slept with you yet”
I mean maybe I could understand the jumping out of bed in the morning because he has plans and is blindly just thinking about his day ahead with mates but to boot you out to go to the gym at the crack of dawn and the turning his back on you after the first time you have sex is shitty, I wouldn’t see him again either.

Also please don’t listen to the “you should have waited longer” posts, I know people who slept together on the first date who are still together, there are sneaky men out there who will happily play the long game and still go ghost.
It doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do , it’s about who they are and he sounds like a shit.

i don’t think you will hear from him again

Exactly.This type of advice is terrible, childish and undignified. Blocking or ignoring is the way forward.

You should trust your instincts. In my limited experience with men... after you have sex with them the first time, they can't wait to do it again if they really like you, and as such he would have set the alarm for 6:45! Some men are less cuddly and affectionate so I could maybe excuse that behaviour to a point, but you know when someone is really into you and he is not displaying the signs. Whatever you do, don't message him and let him do some serious chasing before you even consider giving him another shot. But my advice would ignore him and move on.

My friend is on the online dating and this happens a lot. It seems the "3rd date" is the unwritten rule. As others have said there is no way of actually knowing what they are after.

Block

On a positive note, at least he has shown you his true colours early on. Bin him. Don't message him, he will see through it and it could turn nasty.

I dont think you need to worry about writing him off so much as he has done that with you already. Sad but true he got what he wanted and is moving on.

Honestly I don't know OP, he might just have been in "work mode." I guess you'll find out soon based on how/whether he follows up.

Yeah, unless he does something pdq to show otherwise, I think he just wanted a shag and now can't be arsed with you

Agree - If I told my friends this they'd be livid on my behalf!

Ugh! That sounds horrible OP, sorry that happened. I would not be expecting any further contact from him. The evening out around the corner from him sounds like it could have been a bit of a set up too. I'd not want to see him again even if he did get in contact.

I agree with many posts and think you are better off without him OP. Do you know if he really was going to the gym or maybe it was another date he had set up that evening? Weird to get up at 7am just to work out when there doesn’t seem to be many other pressing obligations he had lined up, especially on a lazy Sunday. Just the way you wrote he wasn’t getting too much in the conversation as you were waiting for the uber. I think he was hiding his real plans. He is a user.

What a horror. Urgh, he sounds horrible. You are not being U. You deserve someone much better.

Thanks everyone for all the kind messages.

Just to clarify a few things- someone mentioned “get back on the app”. We actually use to work together, that’s how we met. Well, worked for the same company at least, different departments so didn’t have a lot of interaction with each other at the time. He then left the company after finding a more senior role elsewhere. After he left, he sent me a friend request on social media and asked me out on a date.
I’ve never been on a dating site as I’ve heard they’re just full of men who only want sex (guess the jokes on me there)

He definitely led me to believe he was interested in me as a person and did not appear sleazy in anyway, otherwise I would not have slept with him on Saturday. Usually I look out for warning signs, like joking and making remarks about sex etc.

When I was abroad last week, on a couple of nights when I got back to my hotel, he video called me and we talked for over an hour each time.
On the last call he told me “You’re very pretty but most importantly you’re a kind person, that’s more important to me than anything else”. 🙄

I have chosen not to reach out to him first to call things off because I don’t want to give him the satisfaction in thinking I’m bothered by this (even though I am 😅)

Still not heard from him, this is the longest we’ve ever gone without texting since our 1st date 3 weeks ago. We’ve kept in contact everyday, not all day everyday, but we’ve not gone a day without checking in before. Very telling isn’t it.

Duplicate post

Chalk it up to experience and move on. If he has made you feel this way for WHATEVER reason, this early on, it’s best just to walk away. I am sorry a nice guy has about turned and become a dick, but it happens. Keep your self respect and move on x

Is he very ugly? Because ha had to fake a lot, calling you x times, texting, meeting you just for ONS.

Wow. That's hard to take considering what seemed to be building to be a nice relationship where you both genuinely hit it off.
Clearly his loss OP, he treated you awfully. As a pp says, the positive bit is that you know now and won't waste anymore time on him.
The only exception I'd make is if he came to you now, apologised and somehow (!) explained his horrible behaviour and it never recurred. But I'm afraid chances of this are less than miniscule.

He isn’t ugly, he is conventionally attractive by generally society standards I’d say. But yes, he but a lot of work in. He could get casual sex else where. Maybe he enjoys the chase.

This

I've been guilty of this OP - flirtation for ages then once we've had sex it's just out my system and I've lost interest. However I've never lead them on to think it was going to be a relationship. I don't know if he's done it consciously or otherwise but unless you want to risk getting into a fwb or "booty call" set up where he's in touch when he wants to get laid again I'd sack him off.

She’s not 8 😂, that’s a really immature thing to say to him. Playground vibes to me!

And I don’t think he’d care either, he’ll see right through it. If he’s deliberately acting cold to get rid of her, he’ll be delighted.