Aibu to write this guy off our first night together?

[KookySnail]

I’m considering c

What a prick

Yeah he's a dick op. Well done for realising your worth and not messaging back.

He went to all that trouble to get you into bed? Stalking you from your last job even. You must be a catch and he knows you are out of his league which is why he had to put on an act. What a wanker.

This is all a bit too much drama and introspection
He sent a casual text. That’s not a cue for discourse analysis of recovered yet and his motives.
You had 3 dates, you don’t actually know him. It wasn’t a relationship. It was three date dating
Clearly he’s not pursuing you for another date, but you’re not interested, no big deal

Stalking is unwanted,persistent contact. One sided and not mutual
He sent a DM, she accepted. They then initiated contact. Thats mutual & consensual

@KookySnailim glad you are trusting your instinct here. It’s so disappointing that he’s behaved like this, but you are showcasing exactly what strong boundaries and healthy self esteem looks like. Keep on keeping on!

Well you know him even less than the OP. So perhaps it’s a case of accepting that’s how SHE felt about her interactions. Because regardless of what any of us might surmise, she has developed an awareness of him over her short dating life with this man, that is probably hard to clinically put into words.

when we interact with other humans, our senses work overtime to build opinions. It’s very difficult to put all of that non verbal data into words, but the impressions we glean from the signals people choose to give out are really important. Telling someone who has clearly tried to be fair and balanced in her descriptions, that she’s ‘dramatic’ says a whole lot more about out you than it does the Op.

Sudden lazy text at 9.30 on a Sunday? That's a chance-your-arm see if she's up for a booty call move that doesn't cost him any effort. Good call to just not reply.

Your friend who thinks you're overreacting - honestly, the bar is on the FLOOR

For the people saying "dump him" or "end it", they were never in a relationship! There is nothing to dump or end.

Dear me, he's well rid of you if that's your attitude

Okay 😄

Lucky you realised he wasn’t right

I bet he was expecting a reply from you. I’m glad you ignored him! He will be itching to get a response now I bet. Leave him hanging!

Bin him. You deserve better x

Good stick to your resolve 🌷🌷🌷

To be fair I don’t think he’s that bothered I didn’t reply, he won’t give it a second thought come tomorrow. I’ve been on annual leave for the past 10 days, actually looking forward to going back to work in the morning and getting on with things in a routine again. As mentioned I’m not replying so don’t think I’ll have any further update. Thanks again mumsnetters.

Well done you for having more respect for yourself than your friend!

What a muppet he is. Yeah def just keeping you warm for a repeat performance.

It's heartening to read a post from a woman with actual boundaries. Good luck with the dating OP.

Nothing wrong with sleeping with someone on the 3rd date or even the first but you don’t really know each other and sex is better when you do.

What a donkey @KookySnail you deserve so much better than him. It's his loss not yours and dont let him in again

Terrible advice.

Well done you OP. That lame message after the lull definitely does not warrant a reply.
Definitely one to throw back in the sea.

’Recovered yet?’ Ewww no 🤢

Watch the film Hitch with Will Smith.
There's a character who does exactly what this man has done to you. It's also a good film!

So you want to shag early to see if you are compatible but unless you tell the person you are shagging your long term goal why would they think you want a long term thing, you wanted a shag and got one now he is not doing the after shag plan to what you have decided needs to happen next

you are dating not shacking up together it is not meant to be this complicated and maybe this intentisty is what put him off?

Handled it well @KookySnail

I bet he was expecting you to message him yesterday.