Husband has extreme right wing views

[HelpMeUnderstandPolitics]

Not sure if this is the right place to post as it's not an AIBU but more of I think my husband is being and I'm not sure what to do about it.

He's getting caught up in some quite extreme right wing views in regards to migrants. Complains about how they're coming in, being housed in hotels, paid allowances etc. with no checks and how crime rates such as rape are now ten fold etc. He thinks Trump is great 😪 He's very intelligent so I'm not sure how he's managed to get caught up in this extremist view point.

WWYD?

There's no comparison between a 'left ' view which is about compassion and understanding, and a 'right' one which is about callousness , greed and selfishness.

This is pure sixth form stuff.

That’s insulting to sixth formers. 😂

The characterisation of the “Left” as virtuous and noble - the “goodies”, and the “Right” as venal and immoral - the “baddies”, is the kind of childish simplification you see in kids programmes aimed at under 8s.

Aside from actual murderers, rapists and molesters, the most dangerous people in society are those who are utterly and immovably convinced by their own correctness and the purity of their virtue, and who regard others who have a different view as irredeemably wrong and immoral.

This applies equally to “left” and “right”, but those of this type with “left-leaning” views seem to be dominating on this thread!

Are you happy for your children to grow up to be hateful little versions of him?

I’m rather disgusted that you’d sacrifice morals for a happy peaceful life

OP has already said she mis used the word ‘extreme’ and has also admitted that she knows nothing about politics.

so far I can see nothing ‘hateful’ in what she has described. She has said she has questioned our immigration system - is that hateful? Certainly if he used racist language then yes, but there has been no evidence of that so it seems a far stretch that her children are going to end up as mini hitlers.

your ‘extremism’ in saying that questioning immigration will lead to hateful children is handing Nigel farage the election on a platter… because lots of people have questions and when they ask instead of conversation they are told they are hateful.

it is not hateful to question immigration.

sincerely,
An immigrant

The ‘progressive’ left is incredibly authoritarian, with no ability to accept and debate differences of opinion, other than monstering the opinion-haver as ‘far right’.

I would characterise myself as left-wing and as always having held the ‘correct’ opinions for that grouping. I’m also a feminist and centre women and girls’ human rights in my thinking. For that reason, I don’t believe a man can be a woman simply because he says he is. It’s been a very interesting 5 years for me, finding out how not aligning with ‘the left’ on this one issue means I’m actually a far-right, Nazi-aligned, Trump-loving bigot …

No debate purity spirals are not helping our cause. Labelling anyone who doesn’t tick every box on the acceptable opinion list as a right wing extremist is not helping our cause and just fuels further division. Personally I think protesting outside hotels is abhorrent. Being concerned about the impacts of immigration in and of itself isn’t. If we want to win people over and pull the debate back to the centre ground, we can’t just cover our ears and shout ‘right wing extremist’ at anyone and everyone with a different opinion.

Aside from actual murderers, rapists and molesters, the most dangerous people in society are those who are utterly and immovably convinced by their own correctness and the purity of their virtue, and who regard others who have a different view as irredeemably wrong and immoral.

It's more Cromwell than progressive, really.

Are you happy for your children to grow up to be hateful little versions of him?
I’m rather disgusted that you’d sacrifice morals for a happy peaceful life

Leaving aside that the man's views are relatively mainstream, yes most loving mothers would prioritise giving their children a happy peaceful life over virtue-signalling by blowing that up.
And he'll still be their dad, and still see them, regardless.

Absolutely. This is what leads so called friends to deFacebook / drop any friend who dares hold a 'right' view.

I just see these people as utterly intolerant and immature, and nuking the family home on this is what I would view as extreme.

I know the OP hasn't said she would but that's still the advice she's getting. Bizarre eh how the pendulum swings with conservative views being commonsense and the far left being bananas.

It's much more complicated than that. Values do matter in a relationship. They matter enough for OP to post about them. It's well known that profound differences end up driving divisions in the couple and lead to the home not being a peaceful place - unless their views end up converging. That's the problem. OP has the following options: 1) debate with her DH and get his views to converge with hers 2) get her own views to converge with his 3) ignore and silently tolerate his views 4) clash openly over his views. Options 3 and 4 are not really tenable long term and will likely lead to the end of the relationship. Options 1 and 2 require a major shift from one of them. All of it is likely to have an impact on the children in one way or another.

As a feminist, in the hierarchy of shit, I place Trump and the Heritage Foundation's agenda right at the very top. No party is perfect but those are the arch enemy because of the all-encompassing regression they are actively working on implementing.

Thinking trump is great is pretty extreme and believing myths about asylum seekers having significant impact on rape stats while simultaneously stealing jobs and being given benefits are far right dog whistles. The idea we must tolerate such ideas or some devastating democratic consequences is the tolerance paradox. But essentially tolerating these ideas and validating them moves the conversation and politics further and further right,

not that yours or my backgrounds are relevant discussing this but:

signed

immigrant grandkid of holocaust survivors

Yes. Taking a moral stance is necessary to uphold democracy.

It's much more complicated than that. Values do matter in a relationship. They matter enough for OP to post about them.

Here's the thing though. My own grandfather held what would now be considered to be profoundly racist views. My parents did not. I adored him and I'm so glad my parents didn't take the modern approach of cutting him out of our lives, in most respects he was a wonderful man and we adored each other.

I genuinely find people who can cut off loved ones over differences of politicial opinions to be sociopathic.

believing myths about asylum seekers having significant impact on rape stats

They've had a pretty profound impact on rape stats in for instance Germany, where the numbers are in the millions. It isn't a myth, it's a very unfortunate cultural difference.
The myth is that they don't.

Sweden is another example:
https://portal.research.lu.se/en/activities/nearly-two-thirds-of-convicted-rapists-in-sweden-are-migrants-or-

I was referring to longterm partners and marriages. Your parents moved on from their parents, as children do, so it's easier in that sense even if they saw him often. I presume they did not have to live with your grandfather for their entire adult lives. Whereas OP is in a trickier situation because she has a family with the man.

If 1 asylum seeker comes in a rapes a girl they should not have been here and shows there should be stronger back ground checks. Or is it ok for one girl to get raped. It is ok to question the process.

I don’t like trump and didnt vote for him but neither would I have voted for Harris. I am American - so yes i could have voted. The failures of the liberal left handed trump the presidency. He didn’t win. The democrats lost.

btw - as well as an immigrant… also descended from holocaust survivors so not entirely sure that has anything to do with anything?? Errr well done? But as an immigrant I do have skin in the game here and an opinion that has relevant experience.

also can we all stop saying dog whistle!?!? It’s like word du jour - does everyone just think it makes them sound clever and progressive??

This nails it 👍

I agree. "Dog whistle" Is the new conversation stopper.

Oh fuck off talking about "myths". Some of us are talking about actual lived experiences and things that are happening right now in the areas that we live in. We're not having this gaslighting any more. If you want to close your eyes and ears to it thats your prerogative, but you don't get to insist that I do as well.

Once again. A common sense (and balanced) view. I'm so glad to see these being heard on this thread.

I think it's another culty extreme left behaviour. Judging people who are older by today's current trends.

It's entirely possible to have a relationship with someone with different views and have the maturity to see they have those views for their own personal reasons and such is their right. Live and let live. When it becomes problematic is having views spouted on you continually that you didn't ask for , or where words and opinions turn into actions that are direct attacks on innocents by virtue of holding a shared characteristic. I.e spitting at a woman wearing a hijab in the street.

Most of these liberal lefts have lost all sense of balance and are desperate to brainwash people on this thread into thinking anything other than shouty name calling responses makes someone a right wing loon (bonus points for "vile"/"beyond vile"/ "abhorrent"/ "racist"/ "bigot "/ gold star for me personal insults based on sex and skin colour: "gammon fat pig " / "fat rich white bastards" )

There was another "myth" in the news yesterday..... (Ethiopian guy in an asylum hotel, propositioning two 14yrs old to "make baby together" ) Source: BBC News

DON'T BELIEVE YOUR LYING EYES!!!!

Have you got any kool aid ? Might help if I can have a slug ... 😅

Unfortunately these type of posters ignore uncomfortable truths (and our vulnerable teen girls and boys are sacrificial lambs ) so long as they get some brownie points for virtue signalling though , hey ...

I presume they did not have to live with your grandfather for their entire adult lives.

Yes he lived with us. Admittedly, not for their entire adult lives as he died before them.