Husband has extreme right wing views

[HelpMeUnderstandPolitics]

Not sure if this is the right place to post as it's not an AIBU but more of I think my husband is being and I'm not sure what to do about it.

He's getting caught up in some quite extreme right wing views in regards to migrants. Complains about how they're coming in, being housed in hotels, paid allowances etc. with no checks and how crime rates such as rape are now ten fold etc. He thinks Trump is great 😪 He's very intelligent so I'm not sure how he's managed to get caught up in this extremist view point.

WWYD?

There are certain aspects of the immigration question where a completely race-blind (or ethnicity or country of origin blind) approach becomes very challenging.

For example, analysing crime rates by country of origin, where residents of some countries commit crimes at much higher, or much lower, rates than the existing population.

Is it ever appropriate to take something like this into account in immigration policy?

And whatever harm you believe those laws inflicted is dwarfed by the MAGA cult's complete destruction of anything feminism has ever brought to the world. Have you actually any idea what they really think and what the agenda is?
Just because it's bad and very unfortunate that violent trans criminals were not appropriately incarcerated with the necessary safeguarding in place for female inmates under the Biden administration does not mean we should happily trash progress made for women in the last 70 years!

Op already wrote in her updates that he won’t disown them. I don’t think she is coming back as posters are using their own imagination over what she said.

I have no issue with reliable data being discussed and considered when formulating policy.

I do have an issue with data being misrepresented and misused in order to stir up trouble.

Respectfully, I disagree.

I couldn't live in the house with a man who thinks a world leader who says 'Grab 'em by the pussy', and boasts about perving on young girls in changing rooms, is even remotely appropriate, especially as I have a young daughter living here. We're not talking about a comedian who made a distasteful joke, we're talking about the leader of one of the most influential countries in the world.

Agree to disagree is an important skill to learn, absolutely. However, in my opinion, not for this. My husband is free to have whatever opinion he wants, but his opinions don't always come with freedom of consequence. The consequence being, I would no longer wish to be married to him. I think quite the opposite to you, I believe that this would be teaching my children how to have successful relationships. They would be learning that you don't have to compromise on your morals just because you love someone. I chose to be with my husband, I can chose not to be if I wish.

I actually had this conversation with my husband earlier, although I was pretty sure in advance what his answer would be. He felt exactly the same as me, that if I started supporting Trump and saying he was great, he wouldn't want to be married to me either, because he feels we'd be so fundamentally mismatched. So no red flags from his perspective!

You can call it controlling if you wish, although I disagree. I'm not saying he can't have those opinions (that would be controlling), just that I could no longer be with him if he did, but he is his own person, he can exist without me. You can also say you think people like me haven't grown up since the common room, entirely your opinion. I don't understand why staying with someone when I don't want to would make me grown up, but oh well.

I'd be out and I don't say that lightly. I could and would not have someone in my life with the hateful views that are around just now on the issues you mention.

It’s not ‘people’ making accusations of racism - it’s you. And people in this thread with similar views attempting to prevent conversations.

As soon as you start making sweeping generalisations that are deliberately designed to whip up fear by fuellin the misconception that all migrant men are likely to be sex offenders, you start to sound racist. And yes, there are racists elsewhere in Europe, too - so what?

Again, you are jumping in with the accusations - for a start no one has said ALL migrant men are likely to be sex offenders. But PPs have presented crime stats broken down by country of origin - are you dismissing those in your ‘sweeping generalisations’ accusation? Or do you accept that the stats exist?

Do you accept that there were mass sexual assaults that took place in a square at New Years (I think Germany) mainly by migrant men - is that a sweeping generalisation?

Or the Swedish women terrified for their safety after migrant men have attacked and gang raped women there? Are they being racist?

It sounds like you are attempting to claim that none of the migrant men coming into Europe and the UK from countries that treat women terribly are a risk to women here.

That would be a sweeping generalisation that is totally wrong - we already know that some of these men have committed serious crimes against women - rapes and at least one murder in the short time they have been in the migrant hotels - is that a sweeping generalisation?

I do have an issue with data being misrepresented and misused in order to stir up trouble.

Then you can rest assured that PPs who have presented crime data on this thread (as well as me) have no intention of ‘stirring up trouble’. I’m sure I speak for them in saying we would never be involved in a riot or call for destruction of property or hurting people. I can’t see anyone on this thread who has done that.

We do however, want to have a conversation about the issues that mass migration will and are creating in our country so hopefully you can relax and ease up on the racism accusations, then we can all have a more productive conversation.

You haven't explicitly said "all migrant men" but you repeatedly talk about "migrant men" or "these men" as if they are one homogeneous blob. They are not, they are individuals.

Some migrants are indeed violent, predatory men. A bit like some British men. But there are many very decent men among them too.

And yes, there are various statistics that are worthy of discussion but I don't see any nuance or sophistication in those discussions. Just dog whistles.

I think you’ve strayed into a little bit of hyperbole there. It would be easier to discuss if you could bring it down a level.

I’m not sure the women incarcerated and raped by men in prison would agree that it is merely ‘very unfortunate’.

If you don’t have a definition of ‘woman’ as distinct from men, how can you advocate for any of our rights? The trans activists redirecting attention to themselves in the abortion law campaign severely hampered women’s chances of success so that’s on the trans activists and the Democrats.

17yo Girl Killed Biking Home

Totally preventable. That poor girl.

So there is the answer to my previous question. I haven’t actually said anything wrong but in your view there is no acceptable way of discussing this and now there are ‘dogwhistles’. Therefore you want to shut down the conversation.

Thankfully, momentum is gathering and people are less sensitive to spurious accusations of racism so the conversation continues.

I would love to have a genuinely productive conversation about this stuff, but if people really want such discussions to happen, they will need to ease up on the inflammatory language and show a more nuanced understanding of the issues. I'm more than happy to engage in discussion with people who are able to present their concerns in non-racist ways.

I'm not saying that there are no legitimate concerns about migration. Not at all. What I'm saying is that those concerns lose all legitimacy in my eyes when they are presented in a racist manner.

Do you have a reading comprehension problem? That isn't what I said at all.

I've been here for years.

Well, then. You're not one of the people that I was talking about then, are you?

It's not hyperbole to say that Project 2025 (which is really what guides this administration's ideology) aims to undo decades of progress for women. You might be happy about the executive order rescinding the Title IX protections but you cannot support Project 2025 and call yourself a feminist. I know that Trump claimed not to know what P'25 was when asked on the campaign trail but it's become clear as day that that's the ideological agenda. So far, they are absolutely ticking off every point one by one. A judge has paused defunding of Planned Parenthood -for now - but for how long? Trump always seems to get his way in the end.

I think this situation is growing:

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cqxg89jzvl1o.amp

Absolutely this.

Thanks for sharing. Frankly it baffles me. I have a 25 year old DS and he wouldn't go near Reform with a bargepole. Those young blokes who claim feminism has gone too far... I do wonder what they mean? Do they want the freedom to grab us by the pussy, y'know, a bit of casual sexual harassment here and there whenever they please because 'boys will be boys'? Was that actually what NF meant when he's quoted as saying "I'm not a Tate supporter. I'm identifying the truth, that young men feel that they're not allowed to be blokes" Do they want freedom and equality or do they just want the license to abuse women with impunity? Because equity and equality are really all WE want and we still haven't got it.

Yes, of course, all young men are just that extreme 🙄

Do you find it difficult to consider other people’s points of view and try to understand or just automatically write them off?

If you read my post, I am referring to the specific demographic that feels feminism has gone too far. The article PP shared earlier mentions that 22% of young men are considering voting for Reform and within that a significant percentage feel feminism is a negative thing. I wonder why they feel that, and I cannot find a positive reason for it. Feeling feminism has gone too far is more than a point view. It has direct implications for women.

Honestly some of these posts are like satire.

The OP has been told she should immediately leave, stop her children being around her DH who is stupid, racist and Extremist, and sign him up to Prevent to ‘de-radicalise’ him.

The DH may be a racist bigot, I have no idea. But based on the OP, his ‘far right’ behaviour is limited to expressing concern about immigration levels and the potential consequences, and liking Trump (the latter is baffling, admittedly, but hardly unheard of). None of these views can in any way be described as extremist or radicalised. As others have pointed out, it’s a view shared by a large proportion of the UK public.

The DH may well be absorbing prejudiced or misinformed ideas from social media- none of us know him - but the overall stance of challenging the current immigration system is a perfectly reasonable one in a democratic system.

Are we to assume that all Trump/ Farage supporters, or those that oppose uncontrolled immigration, or just don’t toe the Labour line, should be referred to Prevent? I can fully understand concern about riots and violence, which I don’t condone in any way, but trying to stamp out any dissenting viewpoint at all is dangerous territory in itself.

There are doubtless a large chunk of bigots, racists and downright stupid people to be found in the riots and flag waving brigade - but responding with such dramatic horror at anyone expressing right of centre views is the kind of thing that results in accusations of virtue signalling.

This. When will people wake up fgs

I can’t speak for men but I have tried to understand what’s going on and my take is that there is a growing backlash to untethered femininity in our culture. Nb: not feminism, femininity

it starts with non competitive sports day and ends up with open borders to ‘be kind’

IMHO there is something in this, ideally femininity and masculinity work together, keeping each other in check and a lot of our politics leans more feminine atm - prioritising kindness over competitiveness or strength. Some call it toxic empathy.