Husband has extreme right wing views

[HelpMeUnderstandPolitics]

Not sure if this is the right place to post as it's not an AIBU but more of I think my husband is being and I'm not sure what to do about it.

He's getting caught up in some quite extreme right wing views in regards to migrants. Complains about how they're coming in, being housed in hotels, paid allowances etc. with no checks and how crime rates such as rape are now ten fold etc. He thinks Trump is great 😪 He's very intelligent so I'm not sure how he's managed to get caught up in this extremist view point.

WWYD?

Hey the hell away!!! I’m worried about a couple of friends myself but thankfully I think most I know aren’t like that.

Yes, I agree. It's inevitable that the more moderate posters will give up in the end, because racist posts and blatant disinformation are repeatedly left to stand. It's too tiring for people to keep trying to counter it, and sometimes people have to take a step back for the sake of their mental health. People will eventually have to abandon MN as they have already walked away from Twitter. It's a shame, but I don't think it can be helped.

LTB

@MrsBennetsPoorNerves You don't know a single educated person who has expressed any concerns about rising levels of migration to you (beyond "we need to speed up processing" type comments like I mentioned)?

No-one in your circle has expressed more concern about migration today than they did, say, 2 or 5 years ago?

I outlined my definition of the actual extreme far right and I'm not talking about them in my post. If you're defining extreme far right as anyone who thinks migration needs to go down, or who is considering voting Reform in the next election, we have a different definition of extreme far right.

It's a shame but I completely see why people give up. It's literally the same everywhere online. Moderates have to meet more irl, at local level... good old fashioned book clubs of all places might be where the next big free thinking movement is born ;) Invest in pen and paper my friend. (Only half joking)

Not for me, you cannot take it too seriously....

Just hide the threads, no one ever changed anyone's mind on a forum.

The OPs DH just sounds like a knob, if he even exists.

Expressing concern does not equate to endorsing the ICE abductions and deportations to hell holes where they've never even set foot before. There's a chasm between expressing concern (reasonable) and going all 'burn the hotels and deport them all and sundry to Afghanistan (or Salvador or Rwanda or South Sudan etc.)

That's not what I said. I said that I don't know any nice, educated people who have espoused far right views. And yes, that does include voting for Reform.

I actually meet quite a lot of Reform supporters. I have never yet come across one who meets the definition of both "nice" and "educated" simultaneously. Many wouldn't tick either of those boxes.

FWIW, I absolutely don't think people are automatically far right if they voice concerns about immigration. There is a perfectly valid debate to be had. But if they express those concerns in racist terms, then that instantly changes my perspective.

I know a couple where husband was pro Trump and wife totally against him. 6 months later he hates Trump and his divisive policies too. Also a highly accomplished, intelligent man. So maybe there is a hope for your husband too.

It's fairly standard for bigots and the generally brainless.

OP, when you say, 'he's intelligent'. How do you mean exactly?

Is that the prescribed ‘insult’ from the misguided smug left wingers? Thick? Is that it?

It’s a rather thick insult, there’s never any additional information. When I was at primary school it was the insult of choice. When they say left wingers haven’t grown up yet, it’s seemingly true

People are entitled to hold their views, even if they are not the prevailing left-wing views, and, believe it or not, even if they have right wing views that are right of centre, as long as they remain respectful towards other people and not treating people differently based on skin colour or ethnicity.

What specific policies and actions do you consider acceptable to advocate for, to reduce either legal or illegal/irregular migration?

I agree that there is a huge spectrum but I disagree that it's a chasm - I think there's a lot of middle ground between those two positions (expressing concern but presumably taking no action, and setting fire to hotels with people in them), and I'd like to understand where you think the limits of decency are.

Like: what are two policies you think are just on the good and bad side of the line, respectively?

I haven't made up my mind on this.

Ok, don’t call Trump pro women.

Call him less anti women than the Democrats then. How does that sound?

I take it you missed the whole episode of Joe Biden removing women’s rights not to be imprisoned either male rapists and having to share changing rooms, sports etc with men?

The disinformation on this thread so far has come from several posters trying to argue that having views and conversations about immigration control is ‘far right’.

FWIW, I absolutely don't think people are automatically far right if they voice concerns about immigration. There is a perfectly valid debate to be had. But if they express those concerns in racist terms, then that instantly changes my perspective.

This reminds me of the trans activists shutting down conversation about women’s rights, constantly claiming to support ‘respectful’ discourse on this issue but eventually it turned out they had already decided there was no ‘respectful’ way to object to men in women’s spaces.

How do we express concern that many men who come from counties with terrible records on treatment of women are entering this country, left free to wander the streets, and some are already committing crimes and if we observe events in mainland Europe where foreign men are known to be committing a disproportionate number of crimes against sr women, without you finding us to be ‘racist’?

If you don't know how to talk about immigration without sounding racist, I can't really help you with that.

If you see the vitriol people posting anything moderate gets, you can see why. Unfortunately this screws the discourse - so it looks like certain views are more common. Because they are loudest.

Brigading is a real issue on many forums and social media sites. As is deliberate manipulation by paid for troll farm accounts, and bots.

See, there it is again. You are implying there is racism, refuse to say where this invisible line you draw sits but accuse us of being ‘right wing’ when we say anything.

It’s just another attempt to prevent the conversation. Thankfully, looking at this thread, the conversation has started and won’t stop. Labelling people who want to talk about immigration as racist as a silencing tactic has failed.

Maybe think about why the same conversation is happening in countries across Europe?

The line isn't invisible though. It is blindingly obvious if you choose to look.

But let me help you. As soon as you start making sweeping generalisations that are deliberately designed to whip up fear by fuellin the misconception that all migrant men are likely to be sex offenders, you start to sound racist. And yes, there are racists elsewhere in Europe, too - so what?

If people are calling you racist, why on earth would you assume that they're saying it to try to silence you? That clearly isn't working. Have you considered the possibility that they are saying it because they think that's how you come across?

I think the husband would be getting red flags if his wife threatened to leave him and break up the happy family home for a disagreement over politics.

And you'd hardly be teaching your children how to agree to disagree with the people you love and have successful long-term relationships.

Lots of controlling women on here who quite frankly haven't grown up from the student common room.

Call him less anti women than the Democrats then. How does that sound?

Wildly inaccurate.
Here's the thing: I don't feel threatened by transwomen. I know this goes against the grain on here but personally I don't mind sharing a changing room with them or using unisex toilets. If I was given the choice between using unisex bathrooms for the rest of my life but having the right to vote, full control over my reproductive choices, decent maternity/gynae healthcare, maternity rights and protections, equal chances at work (all of which are under threat by the males surrounding Trump) I know what I'd choose and it wouldn't take me a millisecond.

He will still have the same views if they split up guys! And I assume he will want to see his kids and say the same things he does now.

I would maybe just say ‘we’ll have to agree to disagree husband’ when the kids are there. I mean I could have written this myself and I do find it a bit gross but also I am a bit worried about illegal immigration. Likewise, I haven’t done enough research to actually know if the right wing people are actually wrong so don’t feel empowered enough to say they are. I will say there’s a big difference between someone that is well informed / well read about everything sharing their views and that of some of the ignorant clearly racist views some spout, only you will really know which camp your husband falls into, one being of course much worse.

So it's ok for him to spout this nonsense in front of your kids?

I'd totally LTB. Zero tolerance for racism.

Just because you don’t personally have an issue with men in female only spaces doesn’t negate the enormous harm the Democrats did in writing laws that prioritise ‘gender identity’ over biological sex.

I think the women incarcerated in US prisons with violent male criminals could enlighten you on the issues.