Husband has extreme right wing views

[HelpMeUnderstandPolitics]

Not sure if this is the right place to post as it's not an AIBU but more of I think my husband is being and I'm not sure what to do about it.

He's getting caught up in some quite extreme right wing views in regards to migrants. Complains about how they're coming in, being housed in hotels, paid allowances etc. with no checks and how crime rates such as rape are now ten fold etc. He thinks Trump is great 😪 He's very intelligent so I'm not sure how he's managed to get caught up in this extremist view point.

WWYD?

Does he spout his nonsense when the kids are around?

Jesus Christ.

Deradicalised 😂 These are not radical views. You want to deradicalize people from having normal concerns. Sounds like you think people should be gaslighted.

You bring nazis into it and how ordinary people went along with it....
Yet it's you who want people to conform and go along with the government and if they don't they need to be 'deradicalized' and bullied into changing, you think this mans family should be taken away from him for not conforming....you think people should bow down when they see concerning things and say nothing....👀

So would I.

He's probably not talking about that group of homeless people, and is probably talking about the other group, often families who don't have a home because there's a housing shortage and are put in temporary accommodation like B&Bs etc, and who engage with every single service and try to get help from absolutely anyone and everyone because their living conditions are poor and still can't.

It's interesting...that poster said nothing about "going along with the government"...yet you suggest that by de-radicalising him (I agree, but dramatic) she must want him to go along with the government.

Some of his views are certainly bordering radical and clearly based on things he's reading on social media that are either obfuscating the full facts or outright false.

But it's possible to be educated on such things (assuming he's willing to have his mind changed) without becoming a government sycophant.

The irony is that you accuse OP of 'going along', but you're playing right into the game of culture war, personality politics yourself. It's much easier for politicians if everyone thinks it's 'Us or Them'.

I have certain socialist beliefs around looking after people in need, and some very conservatives beliefs around business and finance. Where do I fit?

That's what immigrants have to deal with too though.

I would want my son to be able to leave too. We all would.

And while I'd want them to be shown love and kindness, I'm also a realist who understands that if loads of men from my country ended up in other countries then there are obviously going to be a lot of people who don't want them there, particularly if there is a housing crisis etc.

If situations were reversed and British men were fleeing to Afghanistan etc in their droves then the Afghans would also have an issue with it.

It's not cult like thinking at all, if anything your way of thinking is, you're taking a normal, human reaction common to people all over the world, and then trying to make out it's not rational and it's warped because YOU have been brainwashed into thinking that if someone possibly has an issue with immigration it's because they've been brainwashed.

These are very normal views, especially amongst patriotic working class people. Middle class virtue signalling Mumsnetters commenting on here need to have a word with themselves saying LTB - it sounds insane.

Well yes because it's the government who are allowing this and it's their policies that people are criticising. Now even criticism isn't allowed, we have the thought police, people who don't have the 'right' opinion about what's going on need to have their thoughts fixed...

I very much disagree that they're bordering radical, there's been 'radical' change in recent years, people want a return to that, there's nothing radical about wanting to go back to how things were a few years back. When it comes to immigration, most people actually want moderation, trying to say that that's radical is quite the reach!

Becoming more educated on it doesn't equal his mind being changed. Again this is like gaslighting, you want to tell him he's wrong even though he is right about some things.

You could apply this to men in the women’s restroom! In fact you sound like an apologist. Just let them pee! They are unlikely to harm you!

Why should I compromise my safety so you can feel good?

In Japan, there is a huge issue over young men (particularly minority men) raping local Okinawan girls. Would these posters tell the girls to shut up, as the vast majority of marines don’t rape, and they are protecting their country as a service?

Wouldn’t it be normal for the locals to protest their presence? Or would you say it’s ’racist’ as they should just put up with it for the greater good?

Me too.

Well yes because it's the government who are allowing this and it's their policies that people are criticising. Now even criticism isn't allowed, we have the thought police, people who don't have the 'right' opinion about what's going on need to have their thoughts fixed...

This is utter nonsense. You can hold any opinion you like in this country. If you act on one that's illegal, you'll face consequences. There is no thought police.

Criticism isn't allowed?...don't be ridiculous. Show me evidence of anyone being punished for criticizing the government. It happens all day every day.

I very much disagree that they're bordering radical, there's been 'radical' change in recent years, people want a return to that, there's nothing radical about wanting to go back to how things were a few years back. When it comes to immigration, most people actually want moderation, trying to say that that's radical is quite the reach!

I didn't say wanting moderate immigration was radical though, did I? That's something you've made up.

Believing that the number of rapes in the country has increased ten fold due to immigrants is extremely radical. It's an out and out lie designed to stoke fear and hatred. Why would someone tell such an awful lie?

Becoming more educated on it doesn't equal his mind being changed. Again this is like gaslighting, you want to tell him he's wrong even though he is right about some things

He is, demonstrably, wrong about some things. If someone forms a point of view without evidence, and isn't willing to change their mind in the face of conclusive proof that they're wrong...what would you call them? A sheep? An idiot?

He's allowed to like Trump. There's no right or wrong about that. He's allowed to think we should be tougher on immigration. I'm not sure what gave you the impression that I think he should be told he's wrong about any of his opinions. But suggesting things like rape increasing 10-fold or that there's no support for British homeless people while we prioritize immigrants is just factually incorrect.

Again, you seem to have this myopic, black and white point of view whereby challenging one belief means that you're challenging everything that person believes in. You're literally playing into the personality politics trap, hook, line and sinker.

I never said the thought police were actual police did I?
Criticism is not allowed, it gets shut down these days by people throwing the worst accusations at people. Many people are afraid to share their views on it due to the abuse that they face. I mean technically you could say that it's allowed, but only if you're willing to take a load of abuse for it.

Yes you are essentially saying that, because most people exactly like the OPs husband just want moderate immigration, you can focus on him making the false claim that rape has increased 10 fold all you want, but on the other side people are making out there's no issues whatsoever at all due to immigration. If you have one side trying to completely gaslight the other side then there's going to be hyperbole on the other side. It might not be 10 times but they've increased a worrying amount. It's certainly not all immigrants either but they do account for a fairly big chunk of them.
https://archive.ph/6AXAy

If someone forms a point of view without evidence, and isn't willing to change their mind in the face of conclusive proof that they're wrong...what would you call them? A sheep? An idiot?

I'm sure if he reads the stats he would acknowledge that 10 times the amount of rapes is incorrect, it's not going to change the core of his beliefs though and it's not going to change his view that rape has increased and that immigrants committing rapes is a problem.

Do people know the relevant stats?

In America, the release of this data is extremely sensitive. The FBI last published this in 2019, where it was found that black Americans, despite being just 13% of the population, committed over half the murders.

You can imagine how well this information goes down … we cannot have an adult conversation about this at all in America. Please don’t become like us and just stick your head in the sand and hope it becomes better (it will not)

You have clearly not read the whole thread, my comments, or OPs comments.

Supporting a lot of what Trump has done/ is doing is indeed extreme right wing. As is supporting people rioting outside asylum hotels.

Just because a lot of (very loud) people think it is ok, does not make it a moderate view.

And absolutely, it is relevant to being in past example of what happens when extreme populism takes hold.

They may still grow up HEARING his views, but the fact that their parents split up over extreme political differences is indicative that decent people don't have to accept and pander to fascist bullshit. That's a good life lesson.

Amd I'm sure they'll be so grateful for it, when they're deep in the misery of new financial hardship when the same incomes have to stretch to two homes. Or maybe the parents will remarry, so they can get to experience stepparents and blended families.
But as long as OP virtue signalled for the posters of MN when she blew up het children's lives - worth it!

He ‘supports’ Trump - in the classic leftie way of expressing agreement to some of Trumps policies. Imagine supporting brokering peace in Ukraine? Perish the thought, you should most definitely support a forever war and the death of thousands of men,

He also supports controlling immigration. Perish the thought that for a country to survive, or even exist, it needs to have a border. Yes, perish that extreme right view

it’s a naive childish view that seemingly a lot of the middle class suburban mumsnetters share - and I personally see their naive politics as more dangerous than any ‘extreme far right’ person like ops husband

Context is relevant. Correlation does not equal causation.

There are other factors at play. No one is asking people to ignore relevant info (which demographics may be more vulnerable to recruiters for gangs - usually those from poorer neighbourhoods - trending young and male. As an example). But to take a top line stat and extrapolate 'people.of X group are naturally more Y' on its own is reductive and often inaccurate.

As you would be most unsurprised to hear, the largest factors are wealth and education.

Supporting a lot of what Trump has done/ is doing is indeed extreme right wing

Explain. Because from my POV Trump is milquetoast.

There is nothing cultural and ideological at all about Afghan men having the highest rates of sexual assault?
Nothing you can think of?

This is exactly what I mean about these views being more dangerous than any ‘far right’ views.

You probably also are ‘disgusted’ at the grooming gangs.

In the American case, wealth gaps poorly explain this demographic difference. If you were familiar with the data, you’d not be saying this. Look into it and you’ll be very shocked

Trump has not been shown to actively support brokering peace in Ukraine. He has been diplomatically supported by other nations and his own advisers to be involved. But has been inconsistent, and often easily out-manoevered by Putin.

To use a slightly trite phrase 'a stopped clock can still be right twice a day.'

Many, many of Trump's policies are populist in the extreme. Populism may be a better phrase than right or left wing. It often jumps between the two. And there have been several posters giving examples of what policies are obviously problematic - and what views would be considered extreme.

I am very familiar with the UK data. And wealth gaps absolutely play into it. As do reporting levels.

Do you see what you have done by saying ‘extreme right wing’??

firstly I would clue yourself up about politics so you can debate intelligently with him. You can’t throw words like extreme right wing without actually knowing what it means!