Husband has extreme right wing views

[HelpMeUnderstandPolitics]

Not sure if this is the right place to post as it's not an AIBU but more of I think my husband is being and I'm not sure what to do about it.

He's getting caught up in some quite extreme right wing views in regards to migrants. Complains about how they're coming in, being housed in hotels, paid allowances etc. with no checks and how crime rates such as rape are now ten fold etc. He thinks Trump is great 😪 He's very intelligent so I'm not sure how he's managed to get caught up in this extremist view point.

WWYD?

There's always been the "if you're a not a socialist before 30 you have no heart, if you are after you've no brain" but the analysts now seem to be saying it's more middle-aged people who are left leaning (see Guardian etc articles about Liberal Mums etc). While I fit into the left of centre mum demographic, the fact is many people in America do support Trump, and some analysts say our country is turning more towards the right, so if your husband is not doing anything illegal, he might be in the majority.

I have been paying tax since I was in my teens.

How do you explain that to your children… I’m sure they’ll be grateful that your political opinions were of paramount importance and deprived them of a two-parent home.

No one does this. At least, no one sane.

That would be my question. These charter flights require a destination and that destination has to accept the flight and the passengers. No landing permissions? No flight. Also some countries may say we won't have those flights in our airspace, they will need to find alternative routing.

No idea how it would look in practice. It’s the gist of their manifesto though, and people are buying it. Bookies are rarely wrong, after all.

I just find all this left wing, right wing, woke, fascist smearing of anyone with a differing opinion and how one's opinion is any superior to anyone else's to be really ugly to be honest.

Tell him you don't like Trump and are not interested in talking about migrants. If he starts just don't contribute at all, and change the subject. If he carries on say 'I'm not talking about this so I'm going to another room/out' and do so.

If he wants to rant about that he can do it online. But make it plain he can't do it at you.

Mine too. In 21 years this is new. We’ve always been quite liberal.

im concerned he may be developing early onset dementia, or it’s a result of his multitude of medications for various life limiting illnesses. I’m not sure but it’s bloody horrible to listen to.

What are you talking about?

Who am I “depriving of a home”?

All I said was: “Tolerating somebody’s right to hold certain opinions does not mean you are required to be in romantic partnership with them.”

That’s it.

Actually, if I could take in a woman and/or her kid I would. Maybe men could take in men, so women don't get abused and trafficked because clearly a lot of men don't see these people as humans.

It's not down to individuals to house these refugees anyway, it's part of what some of us pay taxes for seemingly not those who like to demonstrate in the middle of the working week

My older brother (who was never previously like this!) has started spouting this kind of shit on Facebook.
It really does make me despair, especially as he would also categorise himself as having strong Christian values (I’m not personally a Christian, but to me the vitriol these people spout seem to clash with Christian values that they claim to uphold)
It’s a shame, I don’t have a lot of contact with them, but it does make me sad to see, and I feel sorry for his wife/family who are nice people.
I think a lot of men of a certain age are getting sucked into all this nonsense!

I personally couldn’t stick around if my husband had those views though, I don’t expect all of our views be the same, and I’m happy for healthy debate; but if their views are that extreme it just doesn’t align with someone I want to share my life with, or that I could love.

Jeez there are some extreme views on here. I'm mixed race with a parent who came here and one who was born here and yet according to some on here my views are aligned with an extremist right wing racist.

I for one am fed up with the left always screaming racist or far right at people whose view is not the same as theirs. I'm not far right, most of the views I am hearing anti uncontrolled immigration are not far right, it's just another way to shit down discussion to shout this nonsense.

My view is it is time to make a change we should know who is here and how many people are here and it's reasonable to have a view on what numbers are sustainable.

OP its fine not to agree on every single thought your husband has, people screaming divorce him are welcome to take that approach in their life. Chat to him, give him your views too might be an interesting chat.

If he found my political views abhorrent then he'd be welcome to kick me out. Aside from any of the other things mentioned, in my opinion, supporting Trump isn't a case of having a different political POV, it is a case of being grossly unaligned morally. It is entirely my decision whether or not I would want to spend the rest of my life with someone like that. This isn't a case of disagreeing over whether we prefer coffee or tea. Call that as intolerant, unkind, uninclusive and unintelligent as you like 🤷🏻‍♀️

There was a recent study that shows Millennials have bucked this trend and not become more right wing. This has been observed in multiple countries across the 'global west' and has been put down to less economic security overall for the Millennial generation. With a less secure economy, and less certain housing, people tend to remain left/ centrist politically. There was a very thorough report on this in the FT about a year ago.

Of course. This has nothing to do with being "allowed" to have independent thought.

My DH and my DD are entirely free to think whatever they like. I have no need to dictate what their opinions should be.

However, I am also free to choose who I spend time with. And if my DH were to adopt far right views, I would not choose to stay married to him because our morals would no longer be compatible. That isn't about controlling his thoughts, it is about my freedom to walk away from a relationship if it is no longer working for me. I think that's my prerogative, don't you?

As for my dd? Well, I wouldn't be able to just walk away from her, so that would be much more complex. I would be horrified and I would no doubt blame myself... I would feel a total failure as a parent if I had raised a child like that. I guess I would need to try and work out what on earth had gone wrong and then consider what to do from there.

Im worried about the mass illegal immigration too.

It’s been hidden from main stream media, so the general population don’t realise the full extent… it’s worrying

There’s this small thing called presumption of innocence. It’s a fundamental principle of a just society. You want to abandon that to call a whole group criminals without any evidence at all. The wish to condemn strangers is motivated by what? Racism?

I’m not sure you understand the phrase “extreme right-wing”. Thinking there is too much immigration doesn’t make you ‘right-wing’. It’s a perfectly rational view to hold. I doubt rape has increased ‘ten fold’. That’s ridiculous. But the vast majority of these immigrants are young men, often from misogynistic cultures. It would be surprising if sexual assaults didn’t increase tbh. Watch the YouTube clip of Alex Philips describing what it’s like to be a young woman in modern London - the constant sexual harassment from men who can barely speak English. This sort of thing is always a concern in war, when soldiers are billeted in small towns. If you have lots of young men dumped on a town you’re going to see an increase in sexual violence.

I wouldn’t even describe Trump as far-right. He’s just a vulgar, ignorant businessman with disgusting attitudes to women. He isn’t fit to run a parish council let alone the world’s most powerful democracy, but that doesn’t make him far-right. People should think before using that phrase. Anyone who dares question the Oxbridge liberal-left worldview is now dismissed as far right. It’s absurd.

I think it's correct to refer to a Trump supporter as an extremist. He's a rapist and a violent racist and xenophobe.

There’s plenty of evidence that certain groups of men perpetuate rape at vastly higher rates than others. So people are motivated by the facts.

I'm actually genuinely quite horrified by this thread and think it needs looking at by MNHQ.

The extremist views from the left on here and encouraging an otherwise happily married mother to break up her children's home over different political views is appalling.

My jaw is on the floor 😮

How do you define right wing ideology? Is it people who are concerned about economic migrants? A lot of the people coming on the “small boats” are not asylum seekers. If they were, they’d apply in France. A lot of the men coming are from countries where women do not have the same rights and democratic processes that we enjoy here.
I do not consider myself to be far right, but I do think it’s fair to be able to question what tax payers are spending on housing economic migrants without being shut down as a far right extremist. Many people have such concerns, even those not painting flags on the paving stones or protesting outside hotels.

Shutting down debate by resorting to slurs never ends well.

I don’t put children in the same category as romantic partners.

I think it’s weird you do.

(To be clear “different political persuasions” == “different values” - I am talking about the latter.)

OP would love to know what his views on ID cards are. That could help clarify his "position" as many of these men don't want anyone to know about their special income but insist they pay taxes, for example.

Not to mention that people who commit sexual offences, for example, can be placed on a monitoring register so the authorities can minimise future risk to the public.

We can’t find out the history of these people because many countries have no equivalent register and/or people are showing up with no papers, false names, no form of ID…

If I'm racist to be suspicious of someone who seeks to hide their true identity, then that’s what I’ll be.