Husband has extreme right wing views

[HelpMeUnderstandPolitics]

Not sure if this is the right place to post as it's not an AIBU but more of I think my husband is being and I'm not sure what to do about it.

He's getting caught up in some quite extreme right wing views in regards to migrants. Complains about how they're coming in, being housed in hotels, paid allowances etc. with no checks and how crime rates such as rape are now ten fold etc. He thinks Trump is great 😪 He's very intelligent so I'm not sure how he's managed to get caught up in this extremist view point.

WWYD?

Agree with this.

We can’t remove the British predators to anywhere except prison (which are full to bursting). We have enough of an issue with violence from men towards women and if there was an island to send convicted rapist and DV perpetrators to, I’d sail them there myself. But there’s not.

The idea of letting potentially violent, abusive men roam free with no background checks or proof of ID is insane. They often come from countries where persecution and abuse of women is widely accepted. Is that going to end well?

i doubt you realise the irony of your post

I have an adult dc, but I would still have left even if my dc was very young. I do understand that some parents aren't that bothered about the values that they are teaching their dc, but for me, teaching dc the difference between right and wrong was a fundamental parenting responsibility. If I had stayed with someone who held views which I considered to be morally repugnant, what would that have taught my dd?

Honestly, I wouldn't have ever chosen to have children with someone who didn't share my basic values, so the situation wouldn't ever have arisen unless DH had had a total personality transplant. But if the worst had happened, then obviously I would have done everything in my power to protect her from that, just as I would have done everything possible to protect her if he had turned out to be a child molester or a domestic abuser etc. I think that's quite normal.

You call it ideology. I call it basic morality. Some things are just wrong. It is OK to have standards.

Would you do the same with a child, I wonder - cast them out of your life as well for not being of the same political persuasion as you?

I think deciding what someone else can or can't think is a slippery slope.

If you tell your DH that he can't air his views you then disbar yourself from sharing yours. Unless you want to go all out dictator? And would that stop either of you from holding those views?

Better to look at what's being said, research how much is good or bad information and discuss the results with him. Challenging debate would be so much more productive, if you have access to facts to back up your argument that then pushes him to do the same.

For me, the people shouting LTB, with no real basis, are just as extreme in their non-tolerance and reactive thinking as they believe your husband to be.

Clearly he's NOT actually very intelligent, (OP claims he is) or he wouldn't be taken in by such utterly hateful bollocks.
Absolute deal-breaker for me, any kind of racism.
So yes, it IS worth throwing away a relationship for 👍

Blimey... There's a whole lot of extremism on this thread.....

Only thing is, I don't think it's coming from the centre/centre right.... 😬

Not a good advertisement for the left I'm afraid.

That post cannot be real. 😂

Well that's clearly not true at all. All the nastiness calling anyone who expressed vaguely socially conscious views (not even left wing) 'woke' or 'snowflake' or 'libtard" quite often happens - thrown in with quite a bit of misogyny, homophobia, and racism.

I think the issue is many people thinking populism (left or right) is centrist - when it clearly is not.

Third thread today I’m hopping on that has had an opener that posters turn into the opportunity to talk about how awful it is asylum seekers exist.

Just saying - though nothing new is said on here.

To the OP - I can’t understand the appeal of Trump to an intelligent non US national. Nothing he does at home gives them a better life. A lot he does internationally impacts adversely. Plus he’s clearly getting demented - I think it’s now 10 wars he’s stopped for today’s example, and on top of that he clearly has some links with Epstein.

It’s beyond bizarre we don’t like foreigners as they’re a danger to women and girls but we love Trump, a foreigner who’s obviously a bigger danger to females, both personally (though maybe he’s too old now!) and nationally when rolling back women’s rights.

Anyway, yeah and I’d definitely be getting my kids away from this narrative.

Now that’s easy to say but how will Farage and co put a border under lock and key? Literally how are they are going to do it?Mass deportations to where exactly ?

I think that many immigrants are waved through and granted asylum so that the government can be seen to be getting the numbers down. How on earth can they assess when so many throw their papers away. Also they only have to say they're gay and asylum is always granted. I understand they're not allowed to even make checks on that one - their human rights! And as it has always pointed out they are coming from France, not a war torn country.

Tolerating somebody’s right to hold certain opinions does not mean you are required to be in romantic partnership with them.

And why on earth are you waffling on about “middle-class women”?

If he cares so much about homeless people, what is he doing to to help them? Does he volunteer with Shelter or donate to them, does he help Crisis at Christmas, does he give to food banks? Unless he does, you need to point out to him that he is being a flaming hypocrite.

Paying for what? The results of wars we’ve waged? Resources we’ve stolen…destabilising the world..leading to migration? This is an ideological hysteria fuelled by racism…a distraction from huge issues that need action like climate change, a live streamed genocide, destruction of the welfare state and more…every moment engaging with this pathetic racist get togethers takes time away from building a better world for the children the OP has…if you are paying taxes they are for things like the NHS, care services, child benefit, roads etc etc..people seeking asylum are just a divide and rule distraction..be angry about the £150 million to Rwanda etc…

Educate him with facts.

Yes I wonder if Prevent have resources to help with that one….

How would granting asylum “get the numbers down?”

There is no irony. It's an opinion based on decent understanding of history and current political discourse. You just don't like it.

People ask how X thing in history happened? It happened because ordinary people do little at the time when they could make a difference. That's not an individual criticism. Just a factor life, and society.

We are in an era of populism. Where moderate views are being silenced and sidelines, where those who do not mean well are using propaganda and manipulation to split and polarise society.

@HelpMeUnderstandPolitics "He's got good work mates that aren't British. He'd be absolutely fine with our children have friendships/relationships with whoever."

is he wanting non whites to be removed from England?

as someone who remembers being scared (as a child) of being sent to a country of which I knew nothing, i admit I see that as a crucial test. This time last year, when the prime minister was going on about the far right, I was genuinely worried that those people are back. I can see from social media that to some extent they are. But people are being described as far right when they actually aren't far right. Including me probably.

I'm convinced that the men who are drawn to this are actually the ones who have contributed the least to their community and the society they live in. In our area it's the dad's who have left kids they don't pay for with multiple women, the ones who never did much after school with the dodgy incomes, porn addictions and issues with women. They all feel cheated but really they've never offered much because they are lazy and don't want to. The only thing that makes them feel better is that they can bully people who weren't even born here - because they might show them up by getting a better job despite not having had all of the opportunities these men born here have - and contribute to society meaning the immigrant becomes more valuable.

I suspect your partner is having issues around his self-worth.

Soo…how many of you are planning on giving up your spare rooms to help an undocumented person out, if/when the government were to ask?

I’m yet to see any appetite for this, but can’t work out why, since it’s clearly racist, uneducated and bigoted to hold any concerns over these individuals.

Lodger, anyone? No?

Honestly, I started off from a balanced and neutral point on here. But the more I read the more my jaw has dropped 🫣😮 :

(From the left ) For having right wing political views (which are legal ) :
-LTB
-Your DH is "thick" and deserves to be divorced and taken away from his children
-even though you're otherwise happily married, you must leave him still because he holds different views to you
-he will automatically be a racist towards a non white partner of your children, and a homophobe if your child is gay

• he cannot possibly be intelligent

-He will be planning to march outside hotels and you're a failure of a mother for allowing your kids to be exposed to him

(I'm sure there's more. That's just what I've skim read )

This is worrying 😬

The rise of right ring extremism, often with people being polarized through populist tropes and manipulative conspiracy theories has been repeatedly raised as a growing area of concern in counter-terrorism circles. It's been widely reported in recent years.

People can have whatever opinion they like but I certainly don't have to remain married to them if our opinions are so far apart that they are in a different universe.