DS went through DH phone. DH blames me

[Evkopk]

My sister’s phone had died and she needed to check her emails so asked to use mine. I was using mine so I unlocked my husband’s phone for her. My DH came downstairs and saw DS scrolling through his photos and ripped the phone from her hand.
He has since refused to talk to me and has deleted and blocked me from his phone, including the family groups.
Ive apologised but he doesn’t want to hear it. I am being unreasonable to think he should get over it? It’s been 2 weeks where he has refused to speak to me, nor can I contact him via his phone.

What were you doing that was so important that you couldn’t let your sister use your phone? Do you run the country?

How would you feel if your husband gave your phone to his brother? And don’t do the whole “cool wife” thing that you’d be totally ok with it/you do that all the time. You wouldn’t even let your own sister use yours. You could have. Whatever you were doing was not that important.

Fair! 😄

I really can't be arsed, but I have a vague memory that gMail and Microsoft mandated the use of 2FA a while back after a spate of hackings.

This means you'd need your 2FA device to complete a sign in from a new device (or browser).

I know it can definitely be mandated by organisations that use O365 and gSuite as I have done it in both.

The public service bit of this is to urge folks to setup 2FA wherever they can. It's not 100% foolproof, but it's better than people who haven't.

Just because you have access to your husband's phone doesn't mean you have the right to give anyone else access to it. It's still not your property. He's right to be upset about that.

The silent treatment is abuse, though, and he's wrong for that.

I mean I wouldn’t hand over my husbands phone but it honestly wouldn’t bother me if he gave someone mine. I don’t get why people are so guarded with their phones if they’ve got nothing to hide. I give mine to my adult kids all the time.

You can’t give someone permission to use someone else’s phone? You should have asked him @Evkopk

Having given it to your DS why was she looking at photos and not signing in to her email?

Seems odd to me. Although he might have something to hide.

However, not talking to you for two weeks is OTT.

There's been some odd threads today where poster drops something to stimulate debate and vanished. I suspect this is one.

Not bothered, they’re boring. Photos of the dog or DD on holiday- that’s it. Banking is on there but you’d need a code for that.
I’d say the same thing in real life to on here, I just don’t care that much anymore.

Yes, unsurprisingly OP hasn’t been back and I rather suspect won’t do so

No idea, I was shopping. She could have for all I know. Again it’s ok to have a different viewpoint. There are no secrets in this household.
Yours is private and you don’t want people to look at it, I’ll still wonder what’s so incriminating though 🤣but I wouldn’t nose through someone’s phone either.

OP’s DH hasn’t spoken to her in two weeks!!!!! Speaks volumes in my opinion.

You were bang out of order

How else are we ever going to train "AI" ? Well, for free leastways ?

Hmm I am in two minds, sure, using the phone wasn’t strictly necessary, and SIL should definitely not have been snooping (unsure why she went from checking her email to checking his photos) but definitely a weird/over-reaction from OPs DH. Personally, if I had nothing to hide, I wouldn’t care if someone needed to use my phone briefly. That was my immediate thought when I read how he reacted - what exactly was he trying to keep hidden in those photos?

Just for the benefit of some people on here who don't seem to grasp it...

Privacy does not equal cheating/secrets/nefarious behaviour. We all have a right to privacy and it comes in many forms.

And for those saying: "I don't mind giving my kids my phone" - it's apples and oranges. It's his in-law invading his privacy and you don't know whether they even have a good relationship or not. Regardless, she shouldn't have snooped.

Why could she not charge her phone - surely you have a charger and you can use the phone once it starts charging. If you don't have the right charger why not lend her your phone?
Your DH's phone is his, it's private. You need to apologise pronto for invading his privacy!

Well we shall have to agree to disagree.

If my DH lent his brother my phone, I'd be pissed off but I certainly wouldn't stop speaking to him for 2 weeks and block him from all family WhatsApp groups. That's just ludicrous.

Well if that's the case then that's another story. But we only have what the OP said, and assuming no previous history then his reaction is not appropriate.

Like in all these posts, there is probably a history...

Ngl, I'd be pretty angry to come downstairs and find my BIL casually scrolling through my gallery.

I would be livid, and I would not forgive it for a very long time.

He clearly trusts you with his phone and you betrayed that trust, I know some have said he must have something to hide but you had his pin so he must have been ok with you accessing it but not all and sundry. I don't blame him being mad I would be furious

I have nothing to hide in my house, I would be distraught if a burglar came and ransack my drawers and went through my private belongings.

It's private full stop. I have loads of things on my phone I do not want to share with the world.

If someone gives you their phone to look at 1 photo, you do not scroll photos, you just look at the one showing. It's basic manners, anything else is rude and a gross invasion of privacy. it doesn't matter if you have 2000 photos of your cat, it's private.

Gently, it sounds like you’d let people walk all over you.

I have handed my phone over to shop assistants and gym receptionists etc so they can help me with the apps but if they intentionally started going through my photos or messages, then I would lose my mind.

I wouldn’t go reading someone’s diary or rifling through their drawers and the same respect should be given to someone’s phone.

Your sister sounds like a knob. Why did you give her his phone, such a stupid thing to do

If the BIL was going through OPs photos in her phone then some of these responses would be very different.

No one would be saying she had something to hide and everyone would be blaming the BIL and DH.

Sounds very odd why not give her your phone and why was she going through his photos? I would be livid with both of you