Being heckled at in the shop

[Applebun]

I was walking on a street in London today. I was really enjoying my walk in the sun. An old man shouted something at me. I had my earphones in so i didnt really hear what he was saying. I didnt want to talk to him anyway so i walked by. I went into a shop. He followed me in and said loudly "i just wanted to ask the time, and that woman completely ignored me. She is rude". He said it twice.

Then another man said something to me.

There were two black men in the shop (relevant because of what he said to me) . One of them said to the other man "say it to that woman!"

One of them turned to me and shouted "have you ever had chocolate without any sugar?".

I was a bit shaken and I said no. And they both laughed at me.

I walked out and walked on. I was enjoying my day before that. I just feel so bad now and i cant seem to shake the feeling off. i just want to be able to go for a walk without being shouted at by men

Thank you @coffeecantata!

Really, we're just going to go with plain stupidity now?

Indeed a toddler can grasp the concept that you can get mugged anywhere.

Where I live, there has never. I repeat, never been one instance of a moped mugging.

How many in London, eh?

Said toddler can probably grasp that one day, one could occur.

If all you and your mini skirt, bra wearing friends have between you, never encountered unwanted male attention, in London, then I'm afraid I don't believe you.... unless of course you are just of the age I'm longing to get to where I become invisible to these kind of dickhead men.

Ok so what is your response?

Maybe. I genuinely don't know any though.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff
I do not understand how anyone is defending the old man.

Oh, I do. It's called "victim blaming".

It’s weird, I feel like I’m being really clear in what I’m saying but you seem to be bending over backwards to misunderstand me.
‘oblige’ ‘requirement’? I am well aware no one has to be polite or respectful to others, you don’t HAVE to speak to anyone. I said this in an earlier post. I however don’t choose to live my life based on the legal minimum requirements of being a human being.

I would consider it rude to intentionally ignore a woman or a man asking me a simple question on the street. Why you’re suggesting I would only feel this way about ignoring a man I just don’t know.

I don’t think of it as prioritising that person in my life, I simply don’t see it that way. That implies so much importance to the stranger and the interaction. It’s just such a minor thing it would barely register “oh it’s 2.45” and continue with my day. It’s just not a big hardship for me to be friendly. Even if I’m 99% sure I’ll never see that person again, I don’t feel the need or see the point in being rude to someone.

I don’t think of it as prioritising that person in my life, I simply don’t see it that way. That implies so much importance to the stranger and the interaction. It’s just such a minor thing it would barely register “oh it’s 2.45” and continue with my day

Same

You do you then.

I did what I want to do aswell. I do not want to give strangers on the street the time.

I do not see asking for the time, as actually asking for the time. I see it as a lead into a chat up line.

As i said, i was asked for the time by a man in spain not that long ago

. I saw that he had a mobile phone in his hand , and the phone was powered on. There was no need whatsoever for him to ask me the time.

I don’t consider it ‘rude’ to ignore a question from a stranger in the street. Especially if it’s a woman ignoring a man approaching them. Sadly, women do have reason to be wary of strange men.

I respond to people who ask me questions in the street, because I’ve seen a loss of ordinary everyday civility over the years, and I want to keep it alive. Though come to think of it I have become a bit wary of beggars and chuggers, and tend to say Sorry, I’m in a hurry.

So I would have answered the old man, who was offended by OP’s lack of courtesy. But his aggressive response was rude too.

The two men in the shop had no right to sexually harass OP or anyone else.

As I’m a harmless-looking woman, I’ve rarely been ignored when I ask directions. But equally, I had a lot of harassment from men when I was younger, and no one should feel obliged to respond to that.

👍

Yes, this seems simple to me too. With minimal effort, you can throw either a piece of grit or a drop of oil into the cogs of society.

Never happened to me once in all my 54 years
and I’ve travelled widely
also mother to 3 sons who would never behave like this

None of us are going to have the EXACT same experiences as each other, are we?

My friend was groped on an underground.

That has never happened to me.

Even though it hasn't happened to me, I know tht it happens to other people.

Self defense class. Being scared of everything or not knowing when to be scared is naive and dangerous. Men save lives, too.

To roll my eyes and smile knowingly

yeah right, you are in London but you have never seen any woman wearing normal clothes, normal sports clothes or mini skirts. I totally believe that 😂

You are worst than the men you pretend are at every corner if you pretend we don't exist, or you are just of the age I'm longing to get to where I become invisible

😂😂charming.

how rude

I am not 70, I don't hide in baggy clothes and I don't get harassed. I wear normal clothes, sports clothes, casual clothes, work clothes or going out clothes and make-up, I don't get harassed.

My very beautiful friends don't get harassed either.

its not strange how more incidents happen to some women then to other Women
so either we are men, or we are ugly? That's your view?

You are a charmer really😂

yeah right, you are in London but you have never seen any woman wearing normal clothes, normal sports clothes or mini skirts. I totally believe that

You are slightly hard of reading if that's what you think I'm calling bullshit on.

Unfortunately in my experience and my friends being harassed in the street is a part of life especially when younger

less so now I am older it’s an absolute blessing feeling comfortable to walk past a group of men

typical male entitlement a man demanding a woman responds to him 🙄

Ditto.

You don't sound like a person that I would want to be anywhere near.

You doubt other women's stories, and you can't count.

I see that your previous post got deleted.

Have people forgotten the video of the young woman walking in the street and the amount of harassment she received it highlight everyday harassment

this was in New York but it’s no different here, I used to absolutely hate waking past men when there was two or more of them and passing a building sight was awful

there are videos of women and men walking through crowded pubs/bars it’s really interesting to see how women almost shrink themselves and men do the opposite

it’s disappointing so many on here are so dismissive of other women’s experiences

My MIL is mean to my FIL. She hits him, talks down to him, embarrasses him and belittles him in front of others, manipulates him and then plays the victim.

Should I be scared of ALL women? ALL MILs? ALL elderly people?

Bit rich coming from someone who's own posts on this thread looks like swiss cheese with the amount of deletions 😕