Being heckled at in the shop

[Applebun]

I was walking on a street in London today. I was really enjoying my walk in the sun. An old man shouted something at me. I had my earphones in so i didnt really hear what he was saying. I didnt want to talk to him anyway so i walked by. I went into a shop. He followed me in and said loudly "i just wanted to ask the time, and that woman completely ignored me. She is rude". He said it twice.

Then another man said something to me.

There were two black men in the shop (relevant because of what he said to me) . One of them said to the other man "say it to that woman!"

One of them turned to me and shouted "have you ever had chocolate without any sugar?".

I was a bit shaken and I said no. And they both laughed at me.

I walked out and walked on. I was enjoying my day before that. I just feel so bad now and i cant seem to shake the feeling off. i just want to be able to go for a walk without being shouted at by men

most of us are out and about in London (and not just London) every single day of our life and dont' get shouted at. No need to exagerate.

If you are crossing the street without looking and piss off a driver or a cyclist, yes, you will be shouted at (not saying they would be right - or wrong - but they do shout). Apart from that, we live safely and normally.

London is not a specially scary place, it's a town like any other.

so you think EVERY single killer in the UK will wait for you to help before he strikes you? For goodness sakes, stop watching too much drama😂

Ive never been shouted at in my small seaside town, I have to say.

I just think its because more people know each other.

So the drunk lairy bloke won't shout at me, because he is friends with a man that i work with,

so he won't want to harrass me. As it wIll make him look bad to his friend.

@ilovesooty

"I'm sorry you had an unpleasant experience, but I doubt that it's typical or widespread."

It fucking well is. The dirty talk, catcalls and stares usually start from age 11. If you're a bloke you wouldn't know that. But if you're actually a woman then you either live on a desert island or you're posting from a convent.

Do NOT feel bad!
Men will always say or shout things at us. They think we're objects that'll be pleased to hear their voices.
I just ignore them - whether or not I'm wearing earphones.

Exactly this. And yes, @Strawberrryfields , someone might well respond to an ‘old white lady’ asking them something, because statistically that is much less likely to lead to some sort of proposition or abuse.

Its not safe to talk to strange men on the street.

I didnt say they are all serial killers. A lot of them are simply violent

You are naive if you think they are all lovely and friendly.

My friend was just walking a long a street in london in the day time, and a man came up and punched her in the face.

I'm not a bloke.
I don't live on a desert island.
I'm not posting from a convent.

Well I’m another woman who has had it happen to me, so the op is not the only one.
They are annoying twats, sorry this happened op.

You surprise me.

In the interest of balance, I will say that I probably found my most "lecherous" day out was in Great Yarmouth.

London I found relentless. Just comments and cat calling and "oi oi sweetheart" which just wears you out. Whilst the men in Gt Yarmouth were fewer in interaction, but seedy, vile and racist (to my black friend, also a model).

I got hissed at by a woman there because her toothless wonder man was gawping. Literally hissed at.

it's not healthy to feel unsafe all the time. What can of life do you have?

I am not naive and think every one is lovely and friendly - part of the reason why I don't interact with people and I love London because I don't have to.

London is not more dangerous than any other place, and it's not common or normal to be assaulted in the street. Of course it happens, shit happens everywhere, but it's one incident when million of people live or visit London!

‘Women like me’. Get over yourself.

I haven’t said it was your fault, he’s of course responsible for his reaction. But it’s common sense that if you’re rude to people some will brush it off and others will take it to the extreme.

You hate all men?

of course there are annoying twats everywhere, but most of us are never faced with them.

Let's not pretend that it's impossible to be a woman in London, it's simply not true. You don't get targeted by gangs armed with machetes either - they do exist, some areas I would avoid but they are a total non-issue for most of us, they could be in NY city for all the difference it makes.

To be honest, yes, most of them. This is a relatively new development. I'm approaching 50 and I know men of all ages from teens to the elderly. There are a handful of rare diamonds.

I’m sorry, that’s really sad. Hope you find a few diamond friends in years to come 😊

In what way have I been intent on making her feel bad? Because I think she was rude initially? She was. That doesn’t excuse his behaviour, he was clearly totally out of order.

Not answering people, is not being rude! Ffs.

So when a man trying to get you to donate money to charity, stops you on the street, do you always stop and talk to him?

We dont have to speak to any stranger on the street.

Have you ever looked at those pick up artist videos. They are men that try to pick up women They do "street game " videos where they approach women on the street and ask them for directions.

Most women do not like it in the videos, and they do not answer the man at all and they walk away. People do not like being approached by strangers on the street.

good grief, half of my friends are male, I deal with parents (dads) and men at work and in every aspect of my life, I cannot imagine hating half the population. how can that even work?

I would also lose an excellent dentist, an amazing osteopath, and a brilliant gynecologist i if I was hating all men. I honestly don't get it.

Of course some are twats, but people can be awful, male or female.

Yes I do. I’ll say ‘no thanks’ or ‘I’m not interested’ if I don’t want to talk. It’s just someone trying to do their job. It’s not even half a second out of my day.

Tbf, we don’t know what this poster’s experience is.

I was abused by male family members as a child so for me, for example, the only way was up.

You said that we should talk to strangers on the street.

Yet you say "no thanks" and walk away from charity people

Why don't you stop and talk to him?

You said that we should stop and talk to all strangers that approach us on the street!

Otherwise we are being rude.

Lived in London for two decades and I’m amazed at the amount of people saying this is a rare thing, in my experience it’s not. My friends and myself have been harassed, some have told such men to fuck off and then been called “an ugly bitch” for daring to answer back. I’ve been followed numerous times by weird men shouting at me for ignoring their attempts to chat me up. Truly grim. And this has happened in north London, south London, east London, west London.

Not to sound ageist but I just don’t feel threatened by an old man asking me the time. Black, white or it otherwise.