Tradesman calling me 'mate'

[Pluvia]

I've been trying for the last few weeks to find someone to do garden clearance and some landscaping for me. Know it's a busy time of year for this trade but am happy to wait for the work to be done in October, if necessary.

In the past fortnight I've contacted seven different firms/ individuals. Called all of them, only one answered and wasn't interested. Followed all up with texts/ messages, left it a few days and tried again. I am polite and friendly.

Only one has contacted me and he's called me 'mate' throughout our conversations and messages, despite knowing my name. I am very clearly female. Doesn't seem to want me to know his name, which is a red flag, so I won't be using him. BUT is it usual these days, when tradespeople are communicating with a female client whose name they know, to call them mate? It feels really disrespectful. In the days, some years ago, when I worked for a big construction firm it wouldn't have been considered acceptable.

This is companies house. Sole traders will not be registered.

Most trades i know resort to 'mate' because, even if they known your name, they can't always recall it easily enough, so mate is safer than getting it wrong.

I don't mind mate, i use it myself. It's a pet peeve of mine when men only use it with other men, so I kinda like it.

It's 'love' that does me in. My mate is a trade, so he purposely does it just to wind me up, 'listen love, is your husband in' etc. Drives me potty. Luckily I'm the one with the money, so I can fuck with him right back...

I wasn't aware. Thanks for the info. In that case, I would adjust my original post and say never go with any company or trader that is t registered with companies house. It's just not worth it.

In response to your original question, mate is perfectly fine (obviously!). It’s not condescending, misogynistic or insulting. It’s just a way of referring to someone without causing offence (to apparently 99.99999% of folks, but OP being the outlier here who sees it as a snorts with laughter power play 😂). You’re coming across properly Hyacinth Bucket here, OP!

But the fact he won’t give you his name? That is clearly the actual concern! I wouldn’t hand money over to someone who won’t give me their name.

Are your priorities always this skewed towards what’s proper rather than what’s safe? 🤣

very few traders are Ltd companies. A sole trader is the usual model.
if you want a company you’d be very limited and usually to very expensive providers ie Pimlico plumbers

You're right. You pay more, but you get more. Sure, a tradesman is cheaper, but your at their whim. They usually work for themselves only and their emotional state becomes your emotional baggage. At least with a limited company, even if small, will, in theory, demand of themselves more professional rigger.

You're embarrassing yourself here mate.

You’d bristle at ‘mate’, yet refer to a woman as a ‘female’. 🤔

I'm sure he will be crying into his cornflakes at not being hired by you. 😫

I'd find it odd - I'd expect to be called love, which I don't mind at all from women or men. But most tradesmen I meet are my parents' generation, maybe younger ones are going for mate as a safer option!

I wouldn't know.

Each to their own.

I have my preference.

The term "mate" can be used by scrupulous individuals to put a potential mark into a false sense of ease. The idea goes that mates don't screw over mates, right?

This woman isn't his mate, it's his client. If he can't show some modicum of professionalism, she needs to move on, and quick.

I’d rather mate than love.

I’d say he showed his attitude to professionalism when he refused repeatedly to provide his own name, therefore his using ‘mate’ is a mere venial sin in comparison.
(btw do you mean unscrupulous?
Anyway I think I’d discern a bogus ‘mate’ from habitual, reflexive usage; it’d sound as though it were in quotation marks, so to speak!)

Would you prefer Ma'am ? Think you need to get off your high horse your majesty.

If someone like a solicitor called me mate then I'd maybe question their professionalism, but a builder or plumber etc its different. That's not to be snobby, it just is different. A builder, plumber etc I'm putting faith in his/her practical abilities not judging their communication skills.

In parts of Yorkshire some men call everyone ‘love’ it’s not restricted just to women so it loses its sexist undertones and just becomes quite charming (imo). Being called mate (as a woman) wouldn’t bother me at all. It’s friendly, after all.

There really isn’t any reason for someone operating as a Ltd company to behave any differently to a sole trader. It’s typically just about what makes most sense from a tax perspective. What professionalism do you imagine would suddenly flow from someone setting up a Ltd company?

I think you mean unscrupulous.

Such as ‘J. Archer, landscape artiste to the Quality.’

> gulp <
I’ve suffered a surfeit of bonkers earworms this afternoon.
Now it’s the Sex Pistols’ Friggin’ in the Riggin’ 🙀

Why is it different? If it's a polite, friendly way of addressing a client why don't dentists, solicitors, teachers use it? Imagine a parents evening and teachers addressing parents as mate when they discuss attainment etc.

Asking but now running: women's World Cup rugby party.

Ah, the tone police...

I assume most teachers, dentists, doctors etc don’t come to your home.

A tradesperson who comes to your home is generally someone who is a bit less intimidating and they want you to feel comfortable around them.

If someone came to your door calling you mate vs Miss X then their job roles would likely be very different.

If the police, social services etc came they would likely call you Miss X, especially at first, as they are wanting to separate themselves from you and maintain that professionalism.

A tradespersons role is very different and they’d want you to feel less intimidated.

Mate is a completely normal thing to call someone of either sex when being friendly in the UK. Mate, guys, love, pal. All normal.

Youre being a weirdo who expects the ‘staff’ to call you madam or Mrs X or something.