Tradesman calling me 'mate'

[Pluvia]

I've been trying for the last few weeks to find someone to do garden clearance and some landscaping for me. Know it's a busy time of year for this trade but am happy to wait for the work to be done in October, if necessary.

In the past fortnight I've contacted seven different firms/ individuals. Called all of them, only one answered and wasn't interested. Followed all up with texts/ messages, left it a few days and tried again. I am polite and friendly.

Only one has contacted me and he's called me 'mate' throughout our conversations and messages, despite knowing my name. I am very clearly female. Doesn't seem to want me to know his name, which is a red flag, so I won't be using him. BUT is it usual these days, when tradespeople are communicating with a female client whose name they know, to call them mate? It feels really disrespectful. In the days, some years ago, when I worked for a big construction firm it wouldn't have been considered acceptable.

It’s usually ‘love’
😡

maybe they're incapable of remembering your name

but tbh it just screams lazy. So no I wouldn’t employ them either

He’s actually a replicant, and learned how to mimic casual conversation by immersing himself in the chat between Vicky McLure (sp.?) and Martin ‘Waistcoat’ Whosit on Line of Duty.
Science has shown that they spoke ENTIRELY in ‘mate’speak, omitting any words in between.
Alright mate? Yeah mate. See ya, mate. Ok mate; and so on for three more verses.

Seriously though, I think I’d have been charmed to be addressed as ‘mate’.
I’d greatly prefer it over the use of my first name by a stranger, weirdly enough. I almost foam at the mouth when all kinds of officials and public servants call me ‘Milly’.
I’m almost 70, you spotty Herbert! Address me using a title and maintain a bit of distance.

Would not bother me in the slightest. Far more pressing things to worry about.

No, my first name, which he knows, will do.

Mate is very inoffensive and neutral though? Better than love, darling, petal etc.

Don'r forget 'hen'. Once nearly ubiquitous in these here parts, now lesser spotted than Lord Lucan astride a tartan unicorn.

Please don’t hire this man. Poor guy’s just trying to be friendly. The last thing he needs is a client with a stick up their arse

Can I request anyone who has a male partner, regardless of his job, if he has ever addressed a woman client/customer/shop assistant, whatever, as mate.

I just don't know any man, of any age, who would do so!

Would you prefer Darling or Sweetheart?

I'd love to be called 'Ma'am' or 'Madam'. It doesn't happen nearly enough.

Perfectly happy to respond in kind with 'sirrah'.

Wouldn't bother me. He may be really bad with names so its easier to just do this. I'm shit with names too.

It wouldn't bother me. 'Guys' bothers me a lot because I am female.

Why do peeps keep asking the OP if she'd rather be called this or that nickname when she's already stated she would like to be addressed by her name?

Ha ha I know exactly what you mean with DS Arnott and Kate Fleming and their 'mate'😂

That's odd, because it doesn't feel friendly to me. It feels like a power play. But that is possibly because he's declined to give me his name and because he's pretty punchy with his prices.

Here speaks someone who routinely calls clients mate, obviously!

@Pluvia i don’t have clients mate

True, but he's blown any chance of getting the job. I can wait for someone with better customer service skills to come along.

Him refusing to give you his name feels like a 🚩 to me.

You should just be grateful tradesmen are calling you.

Power play? Come on! A lot of tradesmen can be a bit rough around the edges, used to dealing with other rough around the edges men at work, plenty call people mate or similar. Dont read too much into it. No offence to any tradesmen of course!

I think you just need to have a bit more confidence in your worth OP. I travel the country visiting construction sites and have been greeted by many a local 'pet name' it doesn't diminish my role or take away from the fact the jobs not getting signed off without my say so. My favorite is Pet but I do have a soft spot for the Geordie accent.

My husband (trade) does, depending on the customer. He has some longstanding customers that he always uses Mrs/Mr Surname, some first names. He would say mate in conversation to men and women the latter, but not the former. He wouldn't use mate in text/email exchanges, but he generally avoids texting (including friends and family).

I've spent too much time analysing his communication habits 😅

I’m often called pal by tradesmen, bus drivers etc here in Scotland. Never thought anything of it.

My whole family do it,even my parents who are 77. Maybe it’s a Cambridge thing

There is that. I'm just about to jump aboard the tradesman-calling merry-go-round again to deal with my wreck of a house. <LeSigh>

Not looking forward to this.