To not go to this low key children's party?

[Dontjumptoconclusions]

Very happy to be told IABU.

Mum friend who I have known for 3 or so years and met at soft play. Met up maybe 7-8 times with and without kids over those years. Our kids are young so they don't really remember each other in between play dates.

Anyway, her DC is turning 3 and is having the same party as last year which we are invited to,so I know what to expect.

It's in a huge woodland trust park, so £5 entry per car to get in, 45 mins drive from us. Last year she had a few park style games (parachute, bean bags, kids tennis etc) and a few costco sandwiches, squash and cake. No party bag except a cake wrapped in tissue.

It was very boring for us, especially having to run around after our 2 kids when I deliberately avoid if there's not much happening. no additional entertainment and there were only 2 other kids there in addition to my 2 and her 2. I just expected a bit more to be considered a party.

AIBU to say no to this year's invite where she is having the same thing, plus most likely expecting a gift.

No she's not struggling for money, her eldest goes to private primary school.

Yanbu to decline any invite but yabu to be so judgy and rude about the party they throw - maybe that’s what her kid wants to do?

Are you always so snotty?

yanbu, Id never invite someone to a party 45 minutes away, that’s barmy.

I did drive 40 mins to a party once but only because I didn’t check the distance first! it was a good friend and the party was a 4 hour visit to a farm, meeting all the animals, with a lovely lunch afterwards.

A polite “sorry we can’t make it, but would love to celebrate … are you free for a tea party at our house another weekend?”

YANBU to say no if you think that your kids won't enjoy it. Mine probably would if there were trees to climb, potentially a playground and cake. I always view the gift as for the child, not recompense for the parent organising the party, so don't link value of gift to the cost of the party.

In short, it's an invitation. If you don't really want to go and prefer to spend your time doing other things with your kids, then say no.

It’s fine not to go for whatever reason you want. Personally I enjoy those kind of parties but my two are unlikely to get bored in a big space to run around, especially with some games and food. That would be heaven to them at that age! It’s a birthday celebration for a preschool child, it doesn’t have to cost £500 and have entertainers. We just did garden parties for that kind of age and had no entertainment, just playing in garden with toys and food. And I wouldn’t be doing party bags for a 2yo! So the party seems fine to me, but you don’t want to go so that’s all that needs to be said.

The drive might put me off since your children aren't actually close, the entrance fee would if my budget was that tight.

But it sounds like a lot more fun for kids than a hyper-structured series of activities and adult demands. Free play is healthy for children, and three- year-olds' parties don't have to entertain grown adults who should be able to manage their own boredom.

Agree.

Decline and do her a favour.

I think it sounds nice causal party. Often better for young kids than a huge overwhelming hall. We’ve been to a few like this at that age and it worked well.

It was very boring for us, especially having to run around after our 2 kids when I deliberately avoid if there's not much happening.

The party isn’t for your entertainment - sometimes stuff our kids will enjoy is boring for adults. I’d decline the invitation and do her a favour.

You sound like a very judgemental person. Miserable.

Sounds like a lovely party. Much more environmentally friendly than all the balloon arches and plastic done for social media. 45 minutes drive isn't much for a trip out.

Specifically where she was last year, it was just the field part, so only grass. The playground area and trees area were a bit further down so would have been weird if we went off there to play.

How sad that you would find a party in nature to be boring.
I think you should stick to the manufactured environment of soft play, as you do sound a little lazy.
That said, if I were the host, I’d up my game a bit with the food and party bags, if I expected people to actually pay to be there.
So YABU but I also kind of get it!

What a miserable post. Just RSVP no and don't bother seeing this person again. She'll be better off for it.

So you’re saying if it was a fancy party with a party bag at the end you’d consider it?

It shouldn’t matter what the party is. If you don’t want to go, don’t.

Being judgy isn’t cool.

It sounds like a perfectly good party to me. Sending home with a piece of cake is fine too. Party bags are optional.

It is fine to say no thank you

I took my kids to a party held in a field next to a playground a few months ago. It was awkward tbh, as the party didn't have a lot of entertainment (which would usually be fine - we'd brought some balls and the kids are usually happy to have a run around and find sticks and stuff).

But the playground is one that we often go to and the kids kept trying to disappear off to it when my back was turned 😅. So probably would give that one a miss in future.

You avoid running around after your kids? What do you do with them then? Never take them to the park or fields to play?

Anyway, you can not go to a party if you don't want to but your reasoning is nasty and judgemental.

I actually think the party sounds like a lotnof fun for the kids, which is who it is aimed at, not you, as an adult who thinks it will be boring

Not paying for the park entry of the guests is incredibly cheap, which does say a lot about the mindset of the host! Surely nobody here finds it acceptable to organise a (small) party at a zoo, soft play, attraction whatnot, and then expect every single guest to pay for their own entry?

Everyone here is defending the host but the party does sound quite boring and unimaginative. It has nothing to do with nature vs indoors. We've been to two different outdoor parties where the host mums organised treasure hunts with various game stations and an ongoing story. You can easily find pre-designed scavenger hunts online with sections of text to read out. It doesn't take much effort to put yourself into a child's shoes and at least make an attempt to make the day more magical.

I agree with OP the setup sounds very lazy, essentially the same level of organisation as a random weekend trip to the park. They're doing the absolute minimum for their child in order for the guests to bring gifts which compensates for the parent's lack of interest.

You sound insufferable and snobbish. If this party, for you, is boring and you’re not getting value for money, decline. It sounds like a lovely way to celebrate a birthday, in a park, with some games and a picnic as well.

Costco sandwiches? 😂😂😂😂 How silly. Would M&S butties be better? Or a Fortnum and Mason fully stocked picnic hamper?

If you don't want to go decline. Why are you thinking about it to this extent? It sounds like you don't want to go for many reasons - do you think they'll be some kind of backlash for declining?

The 45 minutes would put me off more than anything else, and I would only do it if I was really at a loose end/knew that I the kids would enjoy it or it was a very close friend/family member. I've definitely turned down at least a couple of parties that I considered too far to travel for when my kids were younger without much thought.

Probably best if you don’t go, you sound very judgemental and grabby.

Sounds like a few posters who have been to this style of party get it.

Having 2 tennis racquets that 4 kids kept fighting over. skittles/connect 4, which the kids found boring after 10 mins and that's it.

Indoors, outdoors, cheap, expensive, doesn't really matter, I just want it to be a bit interesting but I had to tell my eldest 4 year old that it "wasn't playground time" last year. And on the way home stopped off at another playground because I felt bad for him.

We've been to two different outdoor parties where the host mums organised treasure hunts with various game stations and an ongoing story. You can easily find pre-designed scavenger hunts online with sections of text to read out.
@User09835
Did you read the part where this is a party for a 3 year old and some of those atending are only 2? Good luck with the treasure hunt and its ongoing storyline there!

I actually think the activities organised sound very age appropriate and, at this time of year, nice to be outside rather than in some stuffy hall or soft play.

It is a shame it is 45 minutes away but even that doesn't sound too dreadful.