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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Gettingbysomehow · 22/08/2025 12:43

It looks absolutely amazing, he sounds about as supportive as a chocolate walking frame.
What a whinger, tell him to buck up and go and earn more money.
I've done up all my houses over the years as there has never been enough money to get people in. Surely that's what people do.

Lafufufu · 22/08/2025 12:43

Looks good!

Get some nice design lino down and you are in business!

summerday25 · 22/08/2025 12:45

It’s really lovely OP, you should be so proud of yourself! I bought my house a few years ago and the kitchen is ancient, no money to change it and I wish I had the get up and go to do what you’ve done. ‘DH’ sounds so unappreciative. Your Mum on the other hand sounds lovely.

C152 · 22/08/2025 12:45

I think there was nothing wrong with the kitchen in the 'before' photo, and some elements in the 'after' photo make it look worse. Rehanging the doors properly and laying new lino will improve this. BUT, you need to be happy in your home, so if you like it and it functions as a livable kitchen, that's really all that matters. Your DH should be ashamed of himself for not helping you at all. It doesn't matter if he's not great at DIY, he could at least try to help in whatever way he can.

TotHappy · 22/08/2025 12:46

I've only read the first 2 pages but I think it looks fine in both 😅 I wasn't sure which was the before and after pic until I looked for orange tiles and things. Honestly both look so much better than our very very old kitchen that we've just replaced. We lived with it for 9 years. As for your new one, we'll I've just spent £22000 on mine and I'm not sure yours doesn't still look better!

flightofthecorkers · 22/08/2025 12:47

You've done a great job and your DH is being a dog in a manger. I don't think your kitchen is the main issue. Get your FIL involved.

MontythePrince · 22/08/2025 12:47

I think your diy skills are amazing and you have really improved the look of your kitchen. Your h should be appreciating your efforts.

I am just about to move into a project house with not enough cash to do it all at once (same as you, lovely area and a project is what we can afford). I wish I had your abilities!

ChocolateCinderToffee · 22/08/2025 12:48

Your kitchen looks amazing. Your husband is a twat. Tell him to grow up.

Onekissisallittakes · 22/08/2025 12:50

The cupboards look fantastic but the floor makes it look really old! I know money is tight but can u not get some cheap vinyl and just pay for it to be laid? Otherwise great!

ilvautmieux · 22/08/2025 12:51

I think the floor tiles look great - much better than the previous floor covering. I think just get the cupboard doors rehung properly but the view from the window is great - I wouldnt cover the windows with anything!

NeedMoreTinfoil · 22/08/2025 12:51

Looks great to me with the lighter doors and the wall tiles gone. The window with the lovely green outlook draws the eye so a nice blind and some sort of framing decor (plants etc) could be the finishing touch. I am rubbish at DIY so very envious of your handiwork.

Slowdownyouredoingfine · 22/08/2025 12:52

OP you’ve done a bloody good job, we always watch videos of these budget kitchen upgrades but actually the work that goes into it… it’s a lot harder than it looks and you’ve done it to a really good standard. I love the orginal tiles - I’d try and clean them up and get someone to replace/fix the broken one and keep it. It’s really rustic and nice otherwise. You can get really cheap no drill blinds on temu and they’re a pretty good temporary fix. I also agree a few house plants will make a difference to pretty it up. But it’s genuinely such a difference it’s fantastic! You’ve turned it from a drab, lifeless kitchen to a lovely country style kitchen and you should be very proud. Your husband has no taste!!

Slowdownyouredoingfine · 22/08/2025 12:52

OP you’ve done a bloody good job, we always watch videos of these budget kitchen upgrades but actually the work that goes into it… it’s a lot harder than it looks and you’ve done it to a really good standard. I love the orginal tiles - I’d try and clean them up and get someone to replace/fix the broken one and keep it. It’s really rustic and nice otherwise. You can get really cheap no drill blinds on temu and they’re a pretty good temporary fix. I also agree a few house plants will make a difference to pretty it up. But it’s genuinely such a difference it’s fantastic! You’ve turned it from a drab, lifeless kitchen to a lovely country style kitchen and you should be very proud. Your husband has no taste!!

Bollihobs · 22/08/2025 12:53

Firstly, well done! I think it looks tons better and I completely see why you did it. But.... you cannot judge your worth or the worth of your endeavours by others reactions, that way lies madness! You did it, you like it that's what really matters, nevermind if others don't appreciate it.

However, "My Mum loved it but she’s also my mum so not that objective" so when you did get a positive reaction you've down graded it as it's "only your Mum"..... poor Mum!

Nonbio46 · 22/08/2025 12:53

It looks great. 😍

BeautifulDayFor · 22/08/2025 12:54

I think the problem is your husband.

The kitchen looks loads better, much cleaner lines and more modern. We did similar with ours when we first moved here, it does make a heck of a difference.

Justanotherdramalama · 22/08/2025 12:55

The only thing I would add is a blind and a vase of flowers or a plant. Other than that you have done a great job @Malahala 👏 👍 👌

lessglittermoremud · 22/08/2025 12:56

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:51

This is probably the heart of it. He said yes to this house because he felt he couldn’t say no.
With our previous house, he backed out on the day of exchange because he felt it was too much work and we ended up buying the house he wanted instead - I didn’t like the house, we bought it fully done up from a developer as it was what DH wanted. But I got over the fact that it wasn’t my first choice and we were there for 7 years. We ended up losing money when we sold it because it’s hard to make anything on done up houses. He also agreed to the house because around that time he finally admitted after leading me on for several years that he didn’t want a second child which absolutely devastated me. So yeah, he probably owed me one!

It sounds like you have some pretty big differences of opinions previously, and I think you’ve probably been very gracious in defeat regarding the last house and the second child, I’m amazed you’re still upbeat and trying tbh
The before and after pictures look great, you should be really proud of yourself.
Why do you need your husband to ask his Dad to help you straighten the cupboards, could you not drop him a msg yourself? He probably as the right drill bit for the blinds as well. I would drop him a msg and explain you can’t straighten the cupboards yourself and you’ve done everything you can on a tight budget and would he mind lending you a hand and giving some advise on the floor. Both my Dad and FIL would help either ones of their own children or in laws and would feel awful that they weren’t asked if it was something they could do.
I don’t think whatever you do to the house bar the extention and making it a show home will make your DH happy, he didn’t want the house so he now going to be all doom and gloom about it, instead of just sucking it up like you did on the last one.
I hope he is lovely to you usually because he’s not coming across well, stringing you along about a second child and bow being a misery about where you live….

Sunshineandoranges · 22/08/2025 12:56

We used to do modernisations as a business. You have definitely made the kitchen look much better.

HellEvenDorisDay · 22/08/2025 12:57

I’d have your kitchen in a heartbeat. Mine is 20 years old and we may have saved enough to redo it in about 5 years. Enjoy it and be proud of your work. Ignore his comments.

weareallequal · 22/08/2025 12:59

You did great. It looks much better. Shame your husband and his mother are idiots (lazy husband too). Treat yourself to something for just you due to your hard work.

FiveBarGate · 22/08/2025 12:59

It's loads better.

I think it's just that the wonky doors and the floor really draw the eye.

It might be worth ordering some new hinges for the doors. May be easier than trying to adjust older styles.

The doors themselves and the worktops look really good.

It is worth the effort. We had to do the quick fix makeovers to start with to make this house liveable. Painted over a lot of wallpaper in between baby napping at door.

It freshened it all up. Yes in some ways it's time wasted but you can't do everything properly instantly and a few years isn't insignificant time. It makes you feel much better in a space.

Alltheyellowbirds · 22/08/2025 12:59

C152 · 22/08/2025 12:45

I think there was nothing wrong with the kitchen in the 'before' photo, and some elements in the 'after' photo make it look worse. Rehanging the doors properly and laying new lino will improve this. BUT, you need to be happy in your home, so if you like it and it functions as a livable kitchen, that's really all that matters. Your DH should be ashamed of himself for not helping you at all. It doesn't matter if he's not great at DIY, he could at least try to help in whatever way he can.

Why should she put new lino down when she has gorgeous original quarry tiles? It’s a period house, they are absolutely in keeping and don’t need to be covered up. Plus, lino would be another expense.

EstherGreenwood63 · 22/08/2025 13:00

It looks so much better. Well done you! Your dh sounds quite unpleasant tbh. And I suspect the main reason for not asking his dad is he feels embarrassed that YOU have done this with zero help or support from him. And so he should. Ask fil yourself. 💐

CautiousLurker01 · 22/08/2025 13:01

Just adding to the consensus - the kitchen looks massively better now. You’ve done an excellent job and it was definitely worth doing given you a) can’t afford a new kitchen extension for 5 years and b) DH hasn’t lifted a finger.

I’d pop some wine in the fridge and tell DH where to get off, frankly.