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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
moto748e · 22/08/2025 13:04

Not RTFT, but I think it looks great! Just new door handles on the units makes a big difference (that was the extent of my kitchen refurb 😀), but the floor is way better too. People can be vile with comments about your home. Don;t take any shit on this from your DH or anyone else.

Purrpurrpurr · 22/08/2025 13:05

My other half is a painter and decorator and he thinks your DIY looks great. He said ‘Wow, she’s done all that herself, I’d give her a job!’

PinkiOcelot · 22/08/2025 13:05

I think you’ve done a great job on it OP. Well done.

Your DH sounds like a lazy, miserable twat. He obviously went along with buying the house. He shouldn’t have if he was so against it!

BonaidMhoir · 22/08/2025 13:06

You’ve done brilliantly OP. It’s rotten when someone bursts your bubble but you deserve to feel proud of what you’ve achieved

Lovemycat2023 · 22/08/2025 13:06

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:44

I would love a new blind. The issue is I would need to drill the fixings in and I don’t have the correct drill for that. A “no drill” blind would work but they are about £140 for that size of window and I’m not sure that’s the best place to spend that money.

I’ve spent days trying to re-hang and straighten the cabinets myself using YouTube but they’re so old I can’t do it. My FIL would definitely be able to do it as he’s hung doors for us before but of course DH doesn’t want to ask him and I actually think a handyman would charge quite a bit as it will be time consuming.

New lighting would be great but would, again, need FIL’s help to fit them.

Is it just the masonry drill bits you need? I am not as good as you at DIY but drilling I find ok provided I measure a lot! I also use a rubber band to get the right depth for rawl plugs, and the rawl plugs have good instructions on the packet.

I think you are fab - what a great job and brilliant you did it all.

BonaidMhoir · 22/08/2025 13:06

You’ve done brilliantly OP. It’s rotten when someone bursts your bubble but you deserve to feel proud of what you’ve achieved

RaininSummer · 22/08/2025 13:07

The cabinets look way better. Well done.

Juniperberry55 · 22/08/2025 13:08

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:44

I would love a new blind. The issue is I would need to drill the fixings in and I don’t have the correct drill for that. A “no drill” blind would work but they are about £140 for that size of window and I’m not sure that’s the best place to spend that money.

I’ve spent days trying to re-hang and straighten the cabinets myself using YouTube but they’re so old I can’t do it. My FIL would definitely be able to do it as he’s hung doors for us before but of course DH doesn’t want to ask him and I actually think a handyman would charge quite a bit as it will be time consuming.

New lighting would be great but would, again, need FIL’s help to fit them.

I would look at blinds 2 go, they do no drill blinds made to measure and some are alot cheaper than you would think

mamaison · 22/08/2025 13:10

Honestly looks so much better. You did a great job and was worth all your hard work. Cannot believe your DH being so miserable.

Motherofdragons24 · 22/08/2025 13:10

I’m genuinely so impressed that you’ve done all that yourself! I think it looks great, is it your dream kitchen probably not but it looks SO much better and so much fresher! Tell your DH to stop mopping and either magically come up with 50-100k for a new kitchen and extension or shut up and help make it more homely while you save. I would be so hurt if I put in all that effort and my DH wasn’t appreciative. Well done OP.

CashonlyBakery · 22/08/2025 13:10

Just needs some plants
Window blind
Rug or floor mat

Summerhillsquare · 22/08/2025 13:12

Mumsnet cliché but you have a DH problem. You don't sound at all happy op. Is all this to get only DC into the 'right' school?

CashonlyBakery · 22/08/2025 13:12

Just needs some plants
Window blind
Rug or floor mat

Nightmanagerfan · 22/08/2025 13:12

I think it looks brilliant! Well done

NicPapr25 · 22/08/2025 13:12

Looks really lovely, if it’s the doors more than the units that are not straight, most units have adjustments on the hinges, up/down, diagonal and in closer, maybe worth a google x

ChaToilLeam · 22/08/2025 13:13

I think you have done great, OP, and your whiny lazy ungrateful twit of a DH needs to shut up.

Depressedbarbie · 22/08/2025 13:13

I think it looks fantastic - I do however think that the tiles on the floor are a bit of a jarring note, and if you covered those with a cheap wood effect lino, it would be more cohesive.

CluelessAboutBiology · 22/08/2025 13:15

For a DIY job, it looks great. I certainly couldn’t have done it that well.

Bearlionfalcon · 22/08/2025 13:15

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:44

I would love a new blind. The issue is I would need to drill the fixings in and I don’t have the correct drill for that. A “no drill” blind would work but they are about £140 for that size of window and I’m not sure that’s the best place to spend that money.

I’ve spent days trying to re-hang and straighten the cabinets myself using YouTube but they’re so old I can’t do it. My FIL would definitely be able to do it as he’s hung doors for us before but of course DH doesn’t want to ask him and I actually think a handyman would charge quite a bit as it will be time consuming.

New lighting would be great but would, again, need FIL’s help to fit them.

I think you’ve done a great job OP and it looks so much better, but seriously you will not believe the difference a nice blind will make to the look of that room! Really recommend the investment, somewhere like Hilary’s blinds will make and fit them for you and you can get really nice fabrics at a good price in the sales

swampwitch0 · 22/08/2025 13:16

It looks fab, op.
Your dh is a proper arsehole, though.

Sleepthief · 22/08/2025 13:16

100% better! It looks great!!!

PropertyGuy · 22/08/2025 13:17

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:37

Thanks everyone. You’re all making me a bit tearful - it’s taken over a month of finding time at work and at weekends here and there to do it plus 10s of hours spent on YouTube trying to learn how to do stuff. In all that time I haven’t had a single bit of proper praise from anyone (except my mum) and it was really getting me down.

@Daisyvodka i am upset at my DH and we had an argument about it last night (hence my post). But I’m more upset about the fact that he clearly thinks it’s not great and the reason he doesn’t want to ask FIL to help me straighten the cabinets is because he says FIL will criticise my work.

It’s sad I had to ask you all for your opinion but I was starting to feel silly and worrying I’ve developed DIY blindness!

I removed the old lino as it was damaged and they were covering the original quarry tiles. The tiles are also damaged, there’s a lot of newspaper print and glue residue on them. I’m currently researching how to get all of that off and try to get them looking nice without spending a lot of money!

Another vote for it looking great here. Well done you 👍

I've used Nitromors on a Minton Tile floor that was hidden under laminate and had been painted in parts before, so you could try that?

I don't think it's as "harsh" as it used to be, which may or may not be a bad thing.

Keep it up and ignore your unappreciative other half. Chances are he's just embarrassed at not being practical himself and you showing him up by being willing to give things a go with no previous experience.

MyCrushWithEyeliner · 22/08/2025 13:21

You’ve done a great job.

I’m surprised the before was 40 years old, I was expecting something much more old fashioned.

BumpyWinds · 22/08/2025 13:23

I think chances are your friend and MIL were being complimentary but you've been so ground down by your DH that because they didn't specifically say it, you don't think they mean it.

I think it looks great!

In terms of straightening the cabinet doors, I'd either ask FIL yourself or get someone off Taskrabbit to do it.

I hate those bloody cabinet adjuster hinges. They're the bain of my life trying to adjust the right bit, let alone if the cupboard and hinges are old in the first place.

One of our cabinet doors (of a similar age to yours, if not older) came off in my hand one night as the hinge had given up the ghost entirely. Replacing it and readjusting it was a nightmare, but I do now have one soft close cupboard in my kitchen now! 😂

Bloatstoat · 22/08/2025 13:24

I think it looks great! TBH even your before picture looks better than our current kitchen (we moved 5 years ago and had earmarked money from the move to replace an ancient kitchen and bathroom but then ended up having to replace part of the roof and re-render the back of the house and have never managed to get the money together since).

You have inspired me to see if we could make some interim improvements rather than hating it while we try to save up money for a refit. What do the tiles look like after painting, would you recommend doing it? It sounds such a great solution and I had never thought if it!