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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
SwedishEdith · 23/08/2025 11:28

I think it looks like you've done a brilliant job. Be proud of yourself and thank God for your lovely mum. I really love the floor - I'd try and keep that.

Sam9769 · 23/08/2025 11:32

I think that you have done a great job and your husband is a disgrace for not getting off his lazy backside to help. You should be working as a team. We're in a similar situation having moved 18 months ago and are we doing the house up.
Some work has been done by the trades like windows and plastering but we are doing what we can by ourselves. We found that many of the trades were trying to rip us off with their pricing with many asking the same questions about our situation (nothing to do with the job) trying to assess how much they could charge.
Anyway, when you do decide to purchase a kitchen, I would recommend DIY Kitchens direct. We had quotes from Wickes and Wren in and around £28K. We bought one from DIY Kitchens direct including a quartz work top for £11K delivered. All good quality which my husband is going to install as a DIY job.
They have two showrooms, one in Leeds and one in Oxfordshire where you can view the kitchens, We went to the Leeds showroom, all looked great and no hard sell. Enjoy your new home it sounds like a great buy!

TallMam · 23/08/2025 11:34

It looks lovely and you should be proud!! I think (some) men have form of not complimenting something they are unable to do so that you don't feel "superior" some other BS reason. They just can't lift their OH up. Keep at it, you'll make a beautiful home.

Laura95167 · 23/08/2025 11:34

I love it.

SeasalterSadie · 23/08/2025 11:43

Amazing job!!!
A few plants on the windowsill and a rug over the tiles and boom!!

Jaxhog · 23/08/2025 11:48

I think you've done a fantastic job! Especially as you had no help.

Mydadsbirthday · 23/08/2025 11:55

Great job! I would add a blind and plants. What are you going to do with the floor?

You should show your DH this thread.

Mydadsbirthday · 23/08/2025 11:58

Oh sorry I just looked properly and see you have pulled up old lino from the floor. What you could do to make it look really sparkly and fresh is add a tiled floor in a neutral colour.

Mydadsbirthday · 23/08/2025 11:59

SeasalterSadie · 23/08/2025 11:43

Amazing job!!!
A few plants on the windowsill and a rug over the tiles and boom!!

See I wouldn't add a rug. That would look a bit old fashioned IMO. If you really want to make it look new OP you should add some fresh shiny white floor tiles.

Pregnancyquestion · 23/08/2025 12:02

You’ve done a great job, it’s undeniably looking a lot better. I’d probably put some new Lino down and then it would make it look amazing. Honestly, wow, those cupboard doors look absolutely great, very clever of you. I have been looking at panelling an old cupboard and I just know it would be a wonky mess, so I’m very impressed by your efforts

Pregnancyquestion · 23/08/2025 12:06

Pregnancyquestion · 23/08/2025 12:02

You’ve done a great job, it’s undeniably looking a lot better. I’d probably put some new Lino down and then it would make it look amazing. Honestly, wow, those cupboard doors look absolutely great, very clever of you. I have been looking at panelling an old cupboard and I just know it would be a wonky mess, so I’m very impressed by your efforts

Ive just seen that you like the quarry tiles - that’s fair enough, in that case you’ve finished. I’d add some greenery to your window sill and a blind but other than that well done

Lorrymum · 23/08/2025 12:06

Love it! The floor tiles are lovely. They look like the original terracotta tiles which can be restored without much effort and will last forever.

MikeRafone · 23/08/2025 12:07

he doesn’t want to ask FIL to help me straighten the cabinets is because he says FIL will criticise my work

He doesn't want to ask FIL as its really not good for dh to look so fucking lazy and inept

Beachtastic · 23/08/2025 12:08

You've done a brilliant job, OP, you should be proud. What a transformation!

I can relate to having a DH who heaps scorn on such efforts (that's why he's my ex-DH!). Not sure what you do about that, maybe give him a coat of Dulux Brilliant White in the hope that it will improve him 🌞

Maybe he's hoping to put you off the house so that you move again to somewhere he likes? Still, a shitty way to go about it.

I love quarry tiles and think it would be a shame to cover them with anything but a rug. There are some decent washable ones available nowadays.

MikeRafone · 23/08/2025 12:09

If id done what you've achieved - id be proud of myself and I think it actually looks good - you've not polished a turd but made something look pleasant.

Get a screw driver and YouTube and learn yourself how to sort out hanging the cupboard doors

don't doubt yourself and remember your the one promoting to your children what a mum can do

Funnywonder · 23/08/2025 12:15

Bit late to the party, but I think you’ve done a fantastic job. You should be incredibly proud of yourself.

FeministThrowingAPrincessParty · 23/08/2025 12:17

It looks so much better OP, well done! I wouldn’t have known where to start. As a PP said maybe a plant in a coloured pot for a pop of colour. Your husband doesn’t know how lucky he is!

Poppinjay · 23/08/2025 12:21

Your husband is a dick.

Does he always treat you like this?

You out the effort into making the kitchen the best you could. He says he isn't happy but is also blocking the routes to making it look better, i.e. asking family/friends who has the skills to help.

Is he getting pleasure out of putting you down?

Does he feel threatened by you achieving something he couldn't be bothered to do?

Why doesn't he care enough about your feelings to at least make an effort to be positive?

I suspect this isn't the only way in which he treats you badly.

DogMa73 · 23/08/2025 12:28

Looks much better, well done for tackling it ! I’m thinking maybe it needs some drama to ‘feel’ more different and elevated from previously. Maybe paint the walls / tiles a darker stone colour (slightly darker shade than the cabinets, to add warmth) or even a deeper earthy shade ? Add some plants in plain dark pots, windowsill and maybe counter. I would definitely add a large rug featuring all colours of wall / cupboard / worktops / walls, to pull everything together and create impact. Can you afford to change the lighting to something more modern ? That’s just what I would do - I’ve had to do temporary tart ups on many a kitchen due to budget restrictions myself. Your DH is probably annoyed that he cannot provide your dream kitchen right now and that may be another reason behind his thoughtless comments - he may never admit he likes it even if you clearly have made it look lovely and liveable with !

Cabinfever20 · 23/08/2025 12:33

Great job. It looks so much better. Your husband is embarrassed he couldn’t or wouldn’t do it himself.

Friendlygingercat · 23/08/2025 12:38

Like many posters I agree you have done a good job with the materials at hand. And yes a nice blind or some plants would help to brighten it up and personalize it. It should certainly last until you can afford a professional job.

AcquadiP · 23/08/2025 12:51

I think it looks great - well done! Infact, you've inspired me to tackle mine. I'm living with an old kitchen because when I bought my house I had enough money to put in new flooring (vinyl and carpets) and either a new bathroom (with a shower) or a new kitchen. I chose to get the bathroom done which I'm really happy with. Since then I've replaced the boiler and my car. I don't have the money to have the kitchen refitted at the moment but I might just try and do what you have. Ignore your husband, he should be proud of you!

S251 · 23/08/2025 13:04

You’ve genuinely done a good job and it looks much better!! Yes long term there is more I would do but to make it look better in the meantime well done!!

namechangedforvalidreasons · 23/08/2025 13:07

Your husband sounds a bit of a spoiled baby. I think it’s a lot better!

Loulabelle1234 · 23/08/2025 13:55

Op you've done a brilliant job, honestly if you are pleased don't worry about what others think xx