Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
BishopOakAntiques · 23/08/2025 10:37

Well done! It looks much better, and the old quarry tiles are charming. If your husband doesn’t appreciate it more fool him.

Ohnobackagain · 23/08/2025 10:38

@Malahala ask FIL for help. He might even be wanting you to? I bet he would be so pleased if you ask. My Dad would help anyone who asked, and would teach them not make them feel foolish. DH is jealous - sod him!

Marmite1992 · 23/08/2025 10:38

Wow it looks amazing you should be really proud of yourself!!

Whattostudy · 23/08/2025 10:39

Honestly OP it looks really great! Your husband is being a bellend. I think you’re doing yourself a disservice saying it looks 10 years old - it looks fab. The way you’ve described it I really wasn’t expecting it to look so good. Well done!!

Whyismyskinlikethis · 23/08/2025 10:44

that looks lovely to me?! Your dh is being really odd! Maybe jealous that you achieved it yourself?

ChuffingNoraah · 23/08/2025 10:46

OP you’ve done a brilliant job and have a great eye. Please don’t cover those lovely tiles, they are an absolute classic and actually very on trend at the moment. Have a look at the Lithofin range of tile products and see which one you think would be best suited for the glue residue, they have various different types.

Dunelm have started doing a washable faux-sisal rug which I think could really work here, and very practical. https://www.dunelm.com/product/sisal-look-border-easy-care-rug-1000264126?defaultSkuId=30975275&srsltid=AfmBOoq-1Wegqg_bmsiBl7LfMty6boBI3--7oLs3sU-1OfottE6QOL_WRxo&rugSize=120cm+x+170cm+%284ft+x+5.5ft%29&colour=Sisal+Border+Grey

I do think a blind would be a really worthwhile investment and would lift the space.

Your husband is being a total bore and clearly has no taste.

Sisal Look Border Easy Care Rug | Dunelm

* Easy Clean Product * Hand Washable * Anti-Slip Backing * Sisal Look Pile Introduce a touch of nature to your space with the Sisal Look Border Easy Care Rug. Crafted with recycled polyester & hard-wearing polypropylene, this rug mimics the natural...

https://www.dunelm.com/product/sisal-look-border-easy-care-rug-1000264126?colour=Sisal+Border+Grey&defaultSkuId=30975275&rugSize=120cm+x+170cm+%284ft+x+5.5ft%29&srsltid=AfmBOoq-1Wegqg_bmsiBl7LfMty6boBI3--7oLs3sU-1OfottE6QOL_WRxo

Imisscoffee2021 · 23/08/2025 10:48

Looks fab, you did a great job. Your husband moaning while adding nothing to improve the situation is beyond frustrating, he needs to keep his yap shut.

Buying for location is the clever thing to do, not buying a "done" (are houses ever really done anyway as don't we all have different decorating tastes??) house in a less nice area or being leiced out of a good area because he insists on a done house. You did the right thing and he needs to accept it and move on, shutting up about the decor for now as it's a project and will be finished eventually. Or he can roll up his sleeves and help.

Frankenpug23 · 23/08/2025 10:52

Looks fab OP your DH is a twat!

Starlight7080 · 23/08/2025 10:52

I really like it. You can see such a huge improvement.
The only thing I dont like is the floor. And not because of the newspaper. But I just dont like the colour.
Its a lot brighter in general.
Does he also not want to ask your fil because it definitely looks very negative on your dh that he doesnt help at all.
Which is awful in itself.
I hate it when people complain about something but do nothing to to try to improve the situation.
They are always such negative draining people .

lurkingfromhome · 23/08/2025 10:53

Love it. You've done a fabulous job and those quarry tiles are classy and stylish. Hugely impressive all round.

NOTANUM · 23/08/2025 10:56

I paid an utter fortune on my kitchen and still like yours!

Could it also be that your DH prefers modern kitchens? Is he aware that shaker kitchens are in again?

Re rich friend, some friends want to be top dog and not give compliments. One of mine has given me one grudging compliment in all our days - that I had lost weight - and maybe she’s the same.

HelpMeGetThrough · 23/08/2025 10:58

Well I’m impressed, I like it. The unit fronts look totally different. I bet with some jiggery pokery and some new hinges and drawer runners, you could get that to hang straight.

I did new door and drawer fronts in our kitchen when we first moved in and had to do new hinges and runners for the drawers and it made a big difference with adjusting.

SaffaIrish1 · 23/08/2025 11:01

It looks great. I really like it. In terms of next steps, have you considered perhaps using those stick on floor tiles to lift the look of the floor? I’m sorry that your husband isn’t supportive. Of course we would all love to get the pros in and have new everything, but that’s not practical is it? Sometimes a quick cosmetic change is what is needed. I once used that stick on stuff for the counter surfaces in my pantry as a quick temporary fix - still there and looking perfect about 7 years later!

FairKoala · 23/08/2025 11:01

If dh wants professionals to do everything then might you suggest he earns more, gets another job.

He sounds bone idol and the £200k off the asking price was wasted on him

fknEndlessCycle · 23/08/2025 11:01

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:44

I would love a new blind. The issue is I would need to drill the fixings in and I don’t have the correct drill for that. A “no drill” blind would work but they are about £140 for that size of window and I’m not sure that’s the best place to spend that money.

I’ve spent days trying to re-hang and straighten the cabinets myself using YouTube but they’re so old I can’t do it. My FIL would definitely be able to do it as he’s hung doors for us before but of course DH doesn’t want to ask him and I actually think a handyman would charge quite a bit as it will be time consuming.

New lighting would be great but would, again, need FIL’s help to fit them.

Do you live near a library of things? You can rent drills for quite cheap

HardworkSendHelp · 23/08/2025 11:02

You are some woman for one woman! Well done OP looks so much better. Ignore your husband!

HazelCritic · 23/08/2025 11:03

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:44

I would love a new blind. The issue is I would need to drill the fixings in and I don’t have the correct drill for that. A “no drill” blind would work but they are about £140 for that size of window and I’m not sure that’s the best place to spend that money.

I’ve spent days trying to re-hang and straighten the cabinets myself using YouTube but they’re so old I can’t do it. My FIL would definitely be able to do it as he’s hung doors for us before but of course DH doesn’t want to ask him and I actually think a handyman would charge quite a bit as it will be time consuming.

New lighting would be great but would, again, need FIL’s help to fit them.

I think you've done a brilliant job! Very impressive. I don't think the slightly wonky cabinet doors matter really, they aren't too noticeable. But if they do bother you, can't you ask your FiL yourself for a hand? Explain you've been teaching yourself DIY and would he mind teaching you how to hang doors etc? He might be really flattered!

And balls to your husband.

VaseofViolets · 23/08/2025 11:04

If your DH isn’t willing to do the work that needs doing, he doesn’t have the luxury of criticising you.

It looks brilliant OP, so much nicer. I know what hard work it is!

Nobumsonthetable · 23/08/2025 11:07

Congratulations OP that’s a bloody great job. I am skint and doing up a house too so this is right up my street 😂. You’ve made a great change. I’d cover the floor with something lighter and add a few plants et voila.
I know how hard you have worked, I’ve done quite a few of these jobs over the years. My exh was a dick about my similar kitchen makeover, one of the many reasons he’s an ex.
more seriously your husband sounds like a dick. What are his redeeming features?

Animatic · 23/08/2025 11:11

You have done genuinely a fantastic job. One thing to add (not sure if possible or can be done cheap) is to change colour of the flour to male it greyish as it is now clashing with the rest. In any case, it is 8 out of 10 in terms of transformation

lovealongbath · 23/08/2025 11:14

You should be so proud of yourself, the kitchen looks fabulous, clean and fresh and I vote to keep the rustic floor tiles.

sandwichlover93 · 23/08/2025 11:15

It looks great. You should be proud of yourself. You might need a new DH by the sounds of things!

also to add, I don’t think it looked that bad before tbh but hard to tell from one pic, it probably looked more worn irl.

itsachickeninnit · 23/08/2025 11:20

Well done - I think it’s made a massive difference!

Currently looking round my very tired kitchen and wondering if this turd is worth polishing 🤦‍♀️

usedtobeaylis · 23/08/2025 11:20

You're husband is being a childish dickhead and he should be appreciating your hard work at the very least. Tell him to grow the the fuck up.

Your kitchen looks grand and fresh, well done 🙌

LackOfSleepCBA · 23/08/2025 11:20

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

Oh your kitchen looks lovely ❤️ I can see the effort you've put in. I really like it!

Your husband needs to stfu. If he can't be arsed to put in one iota of effort in helping decorate, doing any diy or arrange and book someone to come in and decorate/diy then he does not get a say in it or get to complain. He's rude and ungrateful. Moaning mingey whiner.