Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
250mlmax · 22/08/2025 17:43

Honestly, I think people on this thread are being far too polite about your husband.

He sounds like a thundering dickhead with the emotional maturity of a toddler. From what you've written of him, it doesn't sound like he has a single redeeming feature. And his family sound just as bad. I hope he is the next thing you choose to upcycle.

On to the point of the thread - I really can't believe you've managed to achieve all that just by yourself. I could never in a million years. Even if I change a lightbulb I somehow fuck it up. Congratulations and really well done OP. It looks so much better.

I understand the Marmite response to the floor. We discovered the same floor underneath our lino when we had our kitchen done a few years ago. The tiles themselves are lovely and we really wanted to make them work, but they just seemed to suck the light out of the room and the colour just didn't really 'go' with anything. (We put down fishbone wood flooring in the end but that's irrelevant since you're on a budget.)

With a final few touches it will be looking absolutely lovely and you can get a good few more years out of it.

I hate your DH for pissing all over your wonderful efforts.

Sunbeam01 · 22/08/2025 17:43

justasking111 · 22/08/2025 17:36

When did. DIY become a dirty word. We had the readers digest DIY book back in the day. Today you have you tube. We did all our house DIY. I made all the curtains, cushion covers, maternity clothes, babies outfits. No-one blinked when we spent evenings and weekends, sanding, undercoating, glossing woodwork. Hung wallpaper. Made duvet sets. Now you have to get someone in.

I don't see it as a dirty word. However there are a lot of people who try and do things themselves with no patience or attention to detail.

As with most things in life - you get the good and the bad.

Trsnsn353 · 22/08/2025 17:44

I think it looks amazing. Some nice flooring, plants and maybe a really nice pendant light would bring it all together.

I’ve just had a new kitchen after a 20 year wait and I prefer the less perfect , homely old and new look. Pristine does not do it for me. Kitchens are meant to be the heart of the house which is difficult when they’re cold and perfect.

isitme111 · 22/08/2025 17:47

It looks lovely I especially love the floor.

Lulu1919 · 22/08/2025 17:47

So much better ...you've done a fab job
Enjoy it and ignore everyone else !!!

Alsonification · 22/08/2025 17:48

Wow!!!! It looks amazing. I tried to do the same in house I used to live it but it didn’t come out half as good as yours. Very well done!!!

Trsnsn353 · 22/08/2025 17:49

Also I think it’s nuts the way people blow££££ continually on home renovations. It’s bad for the environment and finances. No idea how so many afford it. Can only assume it’s on credit or interest free mortgages. It makes houses look so bland and characterless when everything just gets ripped out. Far better to try and use, fix what you’ve got for as long as you can, save and then really appreciate when you get bigger jobs done professionally.

Thingyfanding · 22/08/2025 17:50

You’ll stop caring soon. I like the quarry tiles but a larger rug over the top would look nice and a new blind.
You should be proud of yourself!

NoNotTodayThanks · 22/08/2025 17:53

I think it looks lovely, you've done a great job!

We bought a fixer upper and haven't gotten around to doing the kitchen yet but I did similar to you and painted the cupboards, changed tap, changed handles etc. it's not perfect but it's definitely given the kitchen a face lift.

Ohjakestopbeingatwat · 22/08/2025 17:55

I think you’ve done a bloody fantastic job!

We did similar with ours when we moved in 4 years ago. Thankfully, it’s all getting ripped out next month.

BitterAndTwistedClub · 22/08/2025 18:00

You should be very proud of yourself. It looks great.

Kellph83 · 22/08/2025 18:05

Looks great! You just need a bright flooring and it’ll be even better

PiriPiriMenopause · 22/08/2025 18:05

Pressed the wrong option. 🙄

YANBU! You’ve done a really good job.

Northernparent68 · 22/08/2025 18:36

In fairness to your husband, he doesn’t like the house, ie you wanted to buy it, he doesn’t like DIY, but you insisted, and you expect him to be enthusiastic

250mlmax · 22/08/2025 18:53

Northernparent68 · 22/08/2025 18:36

In fairness to your husband, he doesn’t like the house, ie you wanted to buy it, he doesn’t like DIY, but you insisted, and you expect him to be enthusiastic

In fairness to OP, she had to live for seven years in a house that she didn't like and didn't want to buy. And she also had to lose money on it, all because he insisted.

Trsnsn353 · 22/08/2025 19:01

Thingyfanding · 22/08/2025 17:50

You’ll stop caring soon. I like the quarry tiles but a larger rug over the top would look nice and a new blind.
You should be proud of yourself!

Yes a massive Ruggable rug might enable you to get away from doing the floor. Blind would
look good too.

44PumpLane · 22/08/2025 19:08

It looks so so much better OP! Well done you- it honestly looks lovely!

seven201 · 22/08/2025 19:20

I did a similar job to our old kitchen. Yours looks great. Looks like you’ve not yet painted the plinths? Fix the wonky hanging doors, get that sticker stuff off the floor tiles (they’re lovely!) and it will look super. You should feel really proud of what you achieved.

Nameychangington · 22/08/2025 19:25

Northernparent68 · 22/08/2025 18:36

In fairness to your husband, he doesn’t like the house, ie you wanted to buy it, he doesn’t like DIY, but you insisted, and you expect him to be enthusiastic

Did you miss the part where OPs husband pulled out on exchange day on a previous property and insisted on buying a house he preferred which OP disliked and which they lost money on? And the part where this is the only house they can afford in the area they both want to live in?

beetr00 · 22/08/2025 19:26

@Malahala

Should you decide to pop a rug down, this site is very reasonable, even better they're offering 15% OFF All Rugs,* *Use Code: BANK15

They also offer 10% off for signing up (if the codes stack, could be a decent saving)

Cajollingalong · 22/08/2025 19:33

Wow, you should be amazingly proud of yourself!! 💪🏻 👏🏻👏🏻

I feel utterly gutted for you that you are married to that person. Ungrateful bastard.

TheWeeDonkeyFella · 22/08/2025 19:33

AyeDeadOn · 22/08/2025 11:10

Omg that's an amazing improvement! Well done. Your husband is a tit and doesnt deserve you.

Pretty much sums it up.

BeaLola · 22/08/2025 19:53

I commented earlier how fab I think it is
I'm amazed at how often people do their kitchens - we have lived in our house 26 years (it was just under 2 years old when we moved in) and we still have original kitchen Blush - we have painted walls about 4/5 times and redone floor but that's about it,

My lovely neighbour has just had her 5th major kitchen change in same period (in fact it might be 6) - when she last popped in for drinks she did say "I've always liked your sofa" - yes the 3rd variation we've had in 26 years - I think she does her lounge every 1/2 years - tbf it always looks pristine and show home ready which mine pedant but I hate to think of the cost over the years ....

Evaka · 22/08/2025 19:57

Looks awesome, please come here and teach me your ways. Your husband is an unappreciative bellend.

TheMimsy · 22/08/2025 20:07

@Malahala it looks fab and if you are in the Lancashire area we could hook up and do fabulous DIY and craft projects together.

At least you are doing something unlike the chap as his whinging and whining isn’t really going to get anything done is it?

id ignore the non reactions or minimal reactions. I’ve lost nearly 5 stone since last September and gone from a 22/24 to a 14:16 and had very little positive comments if any.

i do all the decorating, DIY and theifting in my house. I do it for me to make it nicer to live in. Sod the others.

what do you think your FIL would really be like? Is he approachable? Could you say - look FIL I know I’ve done a beginners job but I’d really appreciate some help or can you show me how to do x, y and z so I can learn..

my dad (82) has just taught me how to lay bricks, figure out the various concrete etc types for different jobs and help me figure out what fence posts to go for. I make it clear I’m not asking him to do it but to help enable me to do better going forward.

we all have to start somewhere and you are doing amazing.

Swipe left for the next trending thread