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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
PoshDuckQuarkQuark · 22/08/2025 16:52

@Malahala it looks SO much better!!

We bought a top of budget 4 bed detached house that had the original 1980s decor. The plan was to save up and do it up over time and just live with it. We had DS1 and wanted another baby.

Baby #2 was twins so all savings and earnings were gone and we have had to do most of it ourselves! Its amazing what you can do with a youtube video! We evem managed to take down the dining room wall to make an open plan kitchen dining room after using a youtube video to work out if it was load bearing! DH fitted the kitchen himself.

Our next project is the bathroom which is ghastly. DH will leave it up to me to sort out and plan, then he will help fit it. I'm at the researching stage at the moment. Trying to figure out how to make the electric shower have better flow. I think it's just a crap shower.

user1492809438 · 22/08/2025 17:01

We have renovated 3 houses from wrecks. I'd be proud to take the credit for doing such a great job and creating such a lovely kitchen, your husband is very meanspirited.

Daisymail · 22/08/2025 17:03

Honestly, it looks great!

meatyryvita · 22/08/2025 17:04

I was expecting to have to ‘be nice’ about what you’ve done but you’ve done a wonderful job! Honestly, really great work. Looks much fresher.

housethatbuiltme · 22/08/2025 17:06

The first does not look 40 year old, nearly every 80s kitchen I have ever seen has been near identical and nothing like that.

I would say it already looked newer than 40 years, maybe 20-30 but still dated (like the tiles etc...) and I really don't think it look terrible or unlivable (much nicer than the doer up we bought) but you have made it look much more modern. I would probably add a new floor, a LVT would look nice and modern and with it not being a huge kitchen the more budget ones might be good value.

Its always good to reuse cabinets and stuff when you can, there no need to rip out solid item just for cosmetic reason, recycling is always wise (as they say a fool and their money is easily parted but you just aren't being foolish).

If you like it thats what matters, not others opinions.

Rattyandtoad · 22/08/2025 17:07

I think the before was fine and the after is fabulous! Also quarry tiles are hell to polish up but my gosh they look great - please don't rip them out!! It looks timeless. (And you have a DH problem, that attitude would seriously give me the ick! ) Well done you!!

PuppiesProzacProsecco · 22/08/2025 17:15

You could get your own TV show making over tired old rooms on a shoestring OP. You've done a much nicer job than Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen ever did on Changing Rooms.

Dunelm do no drill blinds a lot cheaper than the online ones by the way - not sure if they'd have your size but worth checking. They're nowhere near as good a quality as the fancy ones (I have both types) but I've got three of the Dunelm ones that are up and down daily and haven't had any issues. I love my fancy ones from Blinds to Go though - luckily I had two very small windows that needed them. Still cost a fortune mind you.

ViaRia01 · 22/08/2025 17:16

I think when you look closely, there are definite improvements in the areas you mentioned. However I think the floor looks worse and that makes a big negative impact to the overall appearance. I think your efforts so far are not wasted - you’ve done lots of great work - but that it’s just not quite finished as far as I am concerned. In time, will you be able to lay some flooring? And add something bright to the window, like a beautiful roller bling or whatever you like? I think it needs a bit more in terms of a colour scheme but a window dressing or some kind will help that hugely.

My husband is similar to your DP in that he doesn’t like the ‘in between’. He wants something done all at once but sometimes budget doesn’t allow that and I (like you) and happy to chip away at it Until it’s done.

anziemoo · 22/08/2025 17:16

You should be proud of all of your hard work as it looks great!

Rattyandtoad · 22/08/2025 17:23

Also - I think I used wd40 with a wallpaper scraper to get the glue off quarry tiles. Then alot of scrubbing with a wire brush and soap before / after and finally you've taken all the layers off so they need sealing again. Pretty sure you can also add resin / clear araldite filler type to cut off edges to fill in the gaps too.

KookyMoose · 22/08/2025 17:24

You've done a great job. It looks so much better. Be proud of yourself x

TheWelshposter · 22/08/2025 17:27

From your description of reactions I was expecting to see a dated, shabby kitchen. I think it looks fantastic! bright and fresh. You should be very proud of yourself and don't listen to anyone who puts you down, including your husband.
You have got a house in a great area and don't they always say to buy the "worst" house in the best street.

GreyPearlSatin · 22/08/2025 17:27

I think it looks great and I think your husband, wealthy "friend" and mil are just jealous they don't have the skills and the taste for such a spruce-up. Could you ask your FIL yourself? So what if he criticizes your work? It can be no worse than the other fun-sponges in your life, except for your mum, who sounds lovely.

I'd say get that light and that "do drill" blind. Sod your husband. He is a spoiled brat who only has a talent for complaining, it would seem. Perhaps your FIL even has an idea for the floor.

BerfyTigot · 22/08/2025 17:29

Looks lovely 😍 I'd be so proud if I'd done that!

Didimum · 22/08/2025 17:32

I think you're letting other people have far too much power over your feelings, OP. Who cares what they think? It's your kitchen. Your DH probably won't ever be happy because what he thinks about the house is set.

Tile Doctor products for the quarry tiles.

Washingupdone · 22/08/2025 17:32

Great job 👏 Congratulations. I love the quarry tiles, good solid ones, just polish them like I used to do 53 years ago they will come up a treat.

Ketzele · 22/08/2025 17:34

I'm over 60 and have never had a new kitchen or a box fresh house. But I have had great joy from polishing turds, and seeing shabby rooms slowly becoming beautiful on a tight budget. You have done a great job here, and your husband is being ridiculous (and ungrateful). House renovations are hugely expensive right now, you have absolutely done the right thing.

justasking111 · 22/08/2025 17:36

When did. DIY become a dirty word. We had the readers digest DIY book back in the day. Today you have you tube. We did all our house DIY. I made all the curtains, cushion covers, maternity clothes, babies outfits. No-one blinked when we spent evenings and weekends, sanding, undercoating, glossing woodwork. Hung wallpaper. Made duvet sets. Now you have to get someone in.

Pearl69 · 22/08/2025 17:37

Gosh, well done OP, that’s quite a project. We appreciate your efforts even if your DH doesn’t. Miserable sod.

NeverCouldGetTheHangOfThursdays · 22/08/2025 17:38

Just adding my tuppence worth... I love it! You've done a brilliant job and your husband is an arse.

MimiSunshine · 22/08/2025 17:38

You’ve done a great job OP.

Do you need a blind for privacy or just something to dress the windows? If the later I’d try to get a shower curtain rod, long enough, a tension one. Then buy some nice voile fabric that could be hung sideways across the window and all you need is some wonderweb tape to create a pocket for you to slide the rod through.

then you can put it at full height or cafe height, you can also buy ‘cafe’ length voiles.

speak to FIL yourself and tell DH to stop sulking and spoiling things. It’s deeply unattractive

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 22/08/2025 17:39

Oh its lovely!

I agree with PP though in that I would get some lino. New if you can afford it but off cuts if not. Just to sort that area out. And some nice greenery on the windowsill, fake or otherwise, will just finish the look.

But you have done a really good job.

Your DH is just being a whiney baby because you can't afford the extension he wants just yet so is being a sulky dickhead. Hopefully he will come to appreciate your efforts.

Sunbeam01 · 22/08/2025 17:40

I feel you OP. I did this with our old Gally kitchen before we had our extension (which I'm now sitting in). I still hated it but that was mainly due to the poor workmanship of the original kitchen which was 'handmade' by a DIY 'enthusiast'.

Your kitchen looks great and certainly a huge improvement and well worth doing rather than living with the before for 5 years.

Pearl69 · 22/08/2025 17:41

justasking111 · 22/08/2025 17:36

When did. DIY become a dirty word. We had the readers digest DIY book back in the day. Today you have you tube. We did all our house DIY. I made all the curtains, cushion covers, maternity clothes, babies outfits. No-one blinked when we spent evenings and weekends, sanding, undercoating, glossing woodwork. Hung wallpaper. Made duvet sets. Now you have to get someone in.

All those diy skills are being lost - and not all “professionals” do that great a job. I’m the diyer in my house as I did up two houses before I met DH so I learned a few skills along the way. DH doesn’t do the prep properly which drives me insane and just isn’t that interested.

AbzMoz · 22/08/2025 17:42

OP you’ve done an AMAZING job. I’d be pissed off if DH had nothing helpful to say and had done naff all to improve it too. I’m so pleased you’ve found a chorus of support for your efforts here - and I hope it echoes in your ear next time you get a less than helpful reply from DH or his parents.