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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Seelybe · 22/08/2025 14:42

@Malahala Huge improvement, well done! Maybe you need new friends and a different DH (which would also sort the MIL issue)! 😂

Feeefeee · 22/08/2025 14:43

What a difference! I think you've done a great job, you should be very proud 👏 I think there may be a bit of jealousy from your husband because you are more capable than him 😉

missrabbit1990 · 22/08/2025 14:45

It looks fantastic. Your DH sounds like an arse.

Fingeronthebutton · 22/08/2025 14:47

Well done you, bravo 👏👏👏👏👏
Just look at it like you will be living there forever because it doesn’t look good for you pig of a husband .
You’re investing in you and your children’s future.

Anonentity · 22/08/2025 14:50

Bloody lovely job! Well done!

He sounds like a soul-sapper. If he’s not going to be useful, the least he can do is cheer TFU!

MonsterMamaJam · 22/08/2025 14:52

I think you’ve done a super job OP! I wish I had your get up and go for mine. We’re in the same boat. Bought a fabulous house that needs updating but will take time to save.

MsPossibly · 22/08/2025 14:53

I would buy a bright, hard wearing rug like one of these:
https://www.braided-rug.co.uk/product/carnival-blue-organic-jute-rugs/

I have one on my terracotta floors and it suits that modern countryish look whilst being cosy and very easy to wash etc. I think your new look (which is great!) could do with more colour.

Carnival Blue Oval Jute Rug - The Braided Rug Company

100% organic jute Surface clean Double sided, and extremely hardwearing, this rug is suitable for any room in your house. Larger Custom sizes are available by special order. Please contact us for details....

https://www.braided-rug.co.uk/product/carnival-blue-organic-jute-rugs/

fiorentina · 22/08/2025 14:55

You’ve done a great job. Looks fab from the photos. Ignore his negative family.

Oxo01 · 22/08/2025 14:56

You have done great for even trying honestly.

Maybe ask his farther yourself to do odd jobs you cant do.
Say I've had to do it all myself (so not perfect ) as your son cant / wouldn't try.
Gives him a chance to criticise his son or maybe not ! but he will know YOU at least tried.

qwertyasdfgzxcv · 22/08/2025 14:56

What a joy sucker. Well done you've done a great job, but it almost doesn't matter, does it, because it isn't appreciated. Sorry about his shitty attitude.

longtompot · 22/08/2025 14:57

gamerchick · 22/08/2025 11:16

Eh? It looks mint OP. Do you want to come and do mine? Grin

The problem here is your husband and his whining.

Sit him down, tell him his comments are getting you down and he either needs to step up and help or shut the fuck up. Tell him to come up with a financially working plan to get stuff up to scratch or to shut the fuck up about it.

You're going to need to be really harsh with him I think.

I agree! What is he doing to raise the funds to replace the kitchen and or build the new extension?

We are building a conservatory off our kitchen and will be moving the sink to a side wall to be able to turn the window into the door. Our kitchen layout is pretty much the same as yours tbh. The units are tired and approx 30 years old, but the carcasses are well built. As we are planning on doing some work that will involve knocking down a wall there, we are just going to do a revamp of the doors and wall (paint the doors, put on new handles and remove wall tiles, and just paint for now) we don't want to spend loads of money on it for just a few years use. We are going to buy a new cupboard but only because the one we are removing is a corner one, and the one we've seen is about £150 from IKEA, so hoping it'll be under £200 all in

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 22/08/2025 14:58

Wow, well done you, fab job. Get your lazy arsed dh to help out. ANYONE can do diy

LizzieSiddal · 22/08/2025 14:59

It looks brilliant and I think your H is really nasty to say those things to you. And he does owe you one, so keep reminding him that you lived in a house you didn’t like for 7 years and you LOST money on it, due to his decisions. You’ve already added money to your new home because the kitchen looks tons better!

outerspacepotato · 22/08/2025 14:59

You did a great job on that kitchen!

DIY comes with a few little kinks, but that is a really nice refresh and I think you should be damn proud of yourself. I'm impressed.

It's a shame your FIL wouldn't be happy to help, but it is what it is. The last thing you need is criticism when your husband is so ungrateful and unappreciative.

Hire someone to straighten the doors, put a washable rug down, I really like the braided one posted above me, and wow.

Dangermoo · 22/08/2025 15:01

Absolutely love those units. The floor adds to the rustic, cottagey type kitchen.

Anyahyacinth · 22/08/2025 15:04

Looks lovely to me...the quarry tiles are great too ...great room (didnt loathe the before either 🥰)

If you haven't contributed any effort then I think your hubby should just be quiet...you've worked hard and it shows 💐

PaterPower · 22/08/2025 15:05

I’d have left the flooring alone, other than that I think it’s a good job of rejuvenating it.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 22/08/2025 15:06

wominzy · 22/08/2025 11:10

You did that all yourself? OMG well done you! I couldn't hammer in a nail without the wall falling down. You should be very proud of yourself, the cabinets and doors are great.

Your DH is sulking because he didn't get the "already done" house and he's jealous of your achievement I think. Leave him be and ignore him. Such childish behaviour needs the naughty step IMO.

this... and I think you've done a great job. It looks much fresher and nicer.

Its also realistic because if he wants a big old extension.. it will take a while to get finances back on track after a house purchase. If you reckon that will take 5 years, then for a couple of hundred quid, you've made it much much nicer.. and I'm sure that shows up more in real life. Also nice of your mum to gift new sink and taps.

Your husband is miserable tho. Watching you do all the work and criticising and doing nothing himself. Its going to very hard doing a good job on a house up do, at a good price if he wants workmen in for everything and does nothing himself.

And he can't even say you've done well. That's crap. Ignore him!

BlazenWeights · 22/08/2025 15:10

Well done OP!! It definitely looks better in the after although not sure if you’re still working on the floor. The kitchen looks a lot better. I’ve an old kitchen and would love to do same or similar to it.

MaidOfSteel · 22/08/2025 15:11

You should be proud of yourself, OP! Your new kitchen looks great. Enjoy your wonderful new home.

ClaireEclair · 22/08/2025 15:11

I love it! Looks great! We had that flooring on our old rental flat which was in a really old beautiful Georgian house that had been split up to make two separate flats. I really loved it and miss it. Wish we had it here.

Cailin66 · 22/08/2025 15:13

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:58

I used Rust-oleum bathroom tile paint and love it! This review helped me decide to try it -

You've done a fantastic job and don't let anyone knock you. I wouldn't worry about the wonky doors. I had one such on a cupboard and 3 experts could never fix it. They are very fiddly to fix so just leave them alone as at least they are still hanging ! It's unreal how little support you are getting except from your own mother. I second hanging a blind but get your FIL to do it. The biggest thing that looks wrong to me me is the floor. I'd get those tiles up and put down lino that looks like tiles. Modern day line can look fantastic. If you can't get the tiles up just even up where the tiles are missing and put down good lino which nowadays has it's own underlay. Really easy to clean, warm underfoot and relatively cheap, especially given the small space you have to do.

prelovedusername · 22/08/2025 15:13

Bloody well done OP. I did something similar, we had limed oak cabinets that were twenty five years old and looked it, and composite floor tiles that had seen better days. I repainted the units (took about four coats!) and laid a new vinyl plank floor, it probably cost me about £250 in total and looked so much fresher.

Who wouldn’t love a new kitchen but you have to pick your priorities.

sweetgingercat · 22/08/2025 15:14

Your husband is the problem, not your kitchen which looks perfectly lovely and you should be proud of yourself for making it good and saving money!

AnnoyedAsAllHeck · 22/08/2025 15:15

WOW! I think you've done a GREAT job! Please feel free to tell your NVDH (Not Very Dear H) to suck an egg.