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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
HelpMeUnpickThis · 22/08/2025 14:07

Well done @Malahala

I could never achieve this! Be proud of yourself. 💐.

Your mum sounds lovely.

Your DH sounds ungrateful.

WolfFoxHare · 22/08/2025 14:08

It looks miles better. Well done!

citychick · 22/08/2025 14:08

Looks great! Well done! You should be please with yourself.

Neighbours87 · 22/08/2025 14:09

Wow that’s a really great job. You should be proud of your work. It looks great

TheLurpackYears · 22/08/2025 14:11

What's the house worth now with all your graft? Could you LTB and make off with a a good chunk? Only (just) joking.

amillionandone · 22/08/2025 14:13

Your husband sounds like a very negative person, OP. I'm not exactly a Pollyanna myself, but I still think I'd have a hard time living with someone who was such a downer. I hope he has some good traits to balance all the nay-saying.

I think I'd have a serious conversation with him about the bigger picture. He doesn't have to love everything you've done, but he needs to make a conscious effort to be more positive about the effort you've put into the house. He agreed to this house, and the money simply isn't there to do it up professionally, so he needs to look on the bright side, find things he does like about the house, and at least pretend he appreciates your DIY work. When there's money, you can always bring in professionals, as needed, but in the meantime, he has to stop sulking.

thinklagoon · 22/08/2025 14:13

Came here secretly thinking I’d be appalled (but still politely go “Well done, OP!” because I’m not a complete dick, just a bit of one), but it’s genuinely a banger! LOVE the quarry tiles and can’t quite wrap my head around the comments saying they’re the let-down – I’d give my eye teeth to find something like that underneath my shit kitchen floor.

I put similar DIY effort into our kitchen, OP, in the same fixer-upper, can’t afford extension, circumstances. (Had to steam shiny blue woodchip off the entire room and take up a CARPET, dismantle cupboards and more.) Difference is my DP has been nothing but grateful for the blood sweat and tears – of course we’d both prefer steels and knocking down walls and doors to the garden and all that jazz, but you and I are cutting our cloth. It looks great and you should be proud. Your DH has let the side down.

Lifestooshort6591 · 22/08/2025 14:14

I think you have done a cracking job, well done. Looks really smart. Do not doubt yourself.

ns87 · 22/08/2025 14:14

So much better, ignore him.

CaspersMum24 · 22/08/2025 14:16

I think you've done a great job.

I've been updating our kitchen over the last few months, and it looks far more professional than mine.

amillionandone · 22/08/2025 14:17

Oh, and I think it looks great, btw! It's amazing how much difference even a coat of paint can make, and you're going above and beyond with the more advanced projects.

Maray1967 · 22/08/2025 14:17

It’s much better.

I’d hang a blind, and try to straighten up the doors if possible - but it’s a big improvement.

Allisnotlost1 · 22/08/2025 14:17

Lafufufu · 22/08/2025 13:47

I really like quarry tiles but those has seen better days and there's no money to repair.

Lino would give an affordable more polished feel

I think you can get polish for quarry tiles?

NoraButty · 22/08/2025 14:21

You’ve done an amazing job. It looks really nice, fresh and bright.

iamnotalemon · 22/08/2025 14:26

I think it looks great.

MediumDwarf · 22/08/2025 14:29

I think it was worth the time and effort as it looks much better!

If his mind is stuck on it being a professional finish or comparable to a new installation then he isn’t realistic about what you can achieve on a DIY budget.

I do understand the idea that spending any time and money on something you can’t make perfect vs waiting 5+ years to do it properly, I often take that approach. But, having said that, it was bothering you now and you didn’t want to wait to potentially improve it.

I think it would be rude of them to say anything negative and they know that, which is why they haven’t. Sounds like a solid conclusion, really. While it would be nice to have some recognition of your hard work, you don't need their acknowledgement to enjoy your kitchen while he saves for the professional job.

DaisyDoodler · 22/08/2025 14:30

It looks fab!! Wish I was that good at DIY or that creative. Ignore your DH. I reckon you’ve outshone him so he’s trying to take away your shine so he doesn’t feel so bad. Shine very deservedly away!

KitsyWitsy · 22/08/2025 14:31

Aimtodobetter · 22/08/2025 11:14

Wow - you’ve done a really great job of it! I was not expecting based on your post for it to be such an obviously good transformation.

I used to get a lot of grief about my painting skills. I used to just say it's better how I've done it than it not been done at all!

You're not a professional but you've done a decent job of making it a lot nicer and you're taking pride in your home. Good for you. I agree, it's better to improve somewhat than not bother at all when you can't afford to replace everything.

WonderingWanda · 22/08/2025 14:31

It looks loads better.

You can easily adjust how the doors hang and sort the wonky ones. The hinges have some screws on them...loads of videos showing you how on YouTube.

roycroppersshopper · 22/08/2025 14:32

You are a DIY genius, your DH is an arse! It looks great, he should be thankful he has amazing wife!

CatHairEveryWhereNow · 22/08/2025 14:34

I think it looks good.

I get this when I do things - lack luster reponsed or I'm sure it will look okay when finished - when it is - or you should have done x first not y. None older family members tend to be complemtary.

It's demoralising and DH doesn't really want to do it - so it all falls on me.

He wants to move in five years and there are some jobs piling up but he keeps putting them off - I keep saying we need to do some now - as we get some benefit and becuase we can't afford the time or money all at once. I think it's some for of procrastination - as if in some mythical point we'll have the cash to get professionals in to just do it without the upheaval that brings.

CuddlesKovinsky · 22/08/2025 14:35

I love your taste, and I love quarry tiles! And I wish I could DIY like you... Deffo ask FIL to show you how to do one door so you can do the rest - DH will probably still see his arse about another man doing what he should have been helping with though... 🙄

I agree with the others, some blinds/plants/lights/a pretty rug - Ikea do nice cheap sisal or striped ones. MUCH better than looking at the cruddy old kitchen for the next five years!

You know that kitchen advert where people get a Proud Peacock tail - that should be you, that should! 🦚😁

socialdilemmawhattodo · 22/08/2025 14:39

Wow! I think you have done a brilliant job. Wish I was that talented at DIY.

EmpressoftheMundane · 22/08/2025 14:41

I love the old clay tile floor. The cabinets look fab, very classic. Everything looks clean and fresh. It’s a perfect blank canvas. It just needs a roller blind and maybe one of the washable ruggable rugs to give it a shot of personality. It’s got great bones now.

Rainbow1901 · 22/08/2025 14:41

Don't doubt yourself OP! You have done a fab job that is a vast improvement on the original kitchen and who cares what others think? You are proud of your achievements which is a heck of an improvement on your husbands can't be **cked attitude. When he can do a better job then he can criticise your efforts but until then he can just shut up or put up the money for the professional job that he wants. But he can't do because of finances but mainly because he's useless with DIY and isn't prepared to try and learn! Which is obviously why he pushed in the past for 'done' houses - the lazy turd!
Be proud! 🤗