Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
SurvivalInstinctsOfABakedPotato · 22/08/2025 15:16

It looks tons better

And sorry but your husband is being a whiney ass

He should be getting off his ass and helping and should be ashamed to sit and complain when he's done fuck all to lift a finger

PonkyPonky · 22/08/2025 15:16

I think you’ve done a fantastic job! I know what it’s like to live in a doer-upper that you don’t have the money to do up, it’s extremely uplifting to get any small part of it improved. And I’ve got this really handy photo to help you sort out the wonky doors in no time. (Give it a minute to upload)

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
LittlleMy · 22/08/2025 15:17

MUCH MUCH better! Well done! Def looks brighter, bigger, more of an inviting space 💜

thebluehour · 22/08/2025 15:19

That is really inspiring. You've done an amazing job, it looks much nicer, and I am going to try and tackle my own one day remembering this.

Now I've got tile paint tips, as well as the solution to the baffling wonky door attachment problem! What a great thread.

LibertyLily · 22/08/2025 15:26

It looks fabulous @Malahala- you've done an amazing job! And what an arse your husband is!

I think one of those lovely braided rugs linked by @MsPossibly would set those quarry tiles off beautifully (and I might have to get one myself!)

We're in the second house chosen by my OH that I'm not keen on (but I did get to choose the previous three!), and I'm currently trying to make the best of it.

We also 'inherited' an old kitchen (from the last time our Georgian cottage was renovated in the mid 1960s) and budgetry constraints mean we're having to prioritise other stuff - boiler, electrics, structural bits etc - so, although we've been extremely fortunate to be able to relocate the kitchen to another room, out of necessity we've reused some of the existing cabinets which were solid timber construction. The rest we sourced second hand on eBay for around £300.

I'm trying to do as much as possible myself too - the difference being that I'm lucky to have an OH who's happy to do DIY.

MamaElephantMama · 22/08/2025 15:28

Looks great. If he wants a perfect make over he will have to go earn some extra cash.

Misskittycat16 · 22/08/2025 15:29

You have done such a lovely job, I agree with others, you have a DH problem.

You might like to try these to help with the wonky cupboards, I have the same problem. Cant say whether these are any good because I haven't tried them yet but I think they will help 🤞🏼

https://ebay.us/m/pjW3iW

telestrations · 22/08/2025 15:29

You've done a fantastic job. I don't care about if it looks 10 or 40 years old, it's more about the quality and feel for me and what you've done makes it look much better and a lot calmer.

If your FILs help would make your work go even further I would definitely ask for it, but him directly and if he's critical just take it on the chin. One thought though your DH may possibly be so down on DIY and doer uppers as a result of FILs criticism

KiteFlight · 22/08/2025 15:30

Amazing!

And you’ve inspired me now too. I wanted to update our kitchen cheaply but the thing holding me back was the old wall tiles because they are such an old fashioned style, I didn’t know you could get tile paint, so I want to have a go at that now!

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 22/08/2025 15:33

You should instagram the next DIY job you do... and you'd probably get a lot of followers wanting to see the stage by stage,, because a lot of people want to save money on refurbs this way..

Don't tell DH until you reach a large number of followers and then he can put that in his pipe and smoke it..

(another of my Mum's old sayings, probably from the 1930s,)

TheFormidableMrsC · 22/08/2025 15:34

I think you’ve done a great job! I’d just add a simple blind and some greenery. Well done!

Hoppinggreen · 22/08/2025 15:37

It looks much better and well done for all your hard work
It doesn't look as good as a new kitchen but you can't afford one so you have mede the best of what you have, nothing wrong with that

Malahala · 22/08/2025 15:42

You lovely lot have really cheered me up and lifted my spirits. I know I’ve done a decent job, but it’s funny how other people’s comments can creep in and make you question yourself.

I’m still very torn about the quarry tiles! It feels like a travesty to cover them, but they’re not in great condition. I’m going to do my best to clean the stains and file down any sharp edges, and in the meantime I’ll use a rug.

My vision for the kitchen is a cosy, toned-down “Nancy Meyers” style: a washable rug, shelving for my cookbooks either side of the window, plants on the window ledge, some artwork on the walls, and maybe even a lamp on the counter. I already own most of these bits, so it won’t cost much to pull together. Café-style curtains would also make a lovely (and cheap!) stopgap while I decide what to do about the blind. Thank you so much for all your brilliant ideas!

A few people asked what I used for the makeover, so here’s the list:

  • Kitchen tiles – Rust-Oleum bathroom tile paint (really impressed with this, would definitely recommend)
  • Cupboards – MDF wall panelling strips from Cut My, cut to size. Brushed nickel cup pull handles and knobs from The Handle Studio. Primed with Zinsser BIN and finished with Rust-Oleum kitchen cupboard satin paint in Bare Birch.
  • Counters – DC Fix vinyl wrap in Ribbeck Oak
  • Walls – Dulux Brilliant White

I really do know it doesn’t look like a new kitchen but I didn’t need it to - I was just happy to shave off a few decades and make it a nicer space to be in.

OP posts:
Malahala · 22/08/2025 15:44

Dannydevitoiloveyourart · 22/08/2025 13:52

I've done a couple of crude mockups (images attached) to add:
-peel and stick tiles/lino sheet flooring
-roman blinds
-ceiling light shades
-a plant by the window

Really shows that you are very nearly there, and how much you've already improved things. Ask your FIL to help with these finishing touches and enjoy your nearly new kitchen!

The picture with the rug is definitely the feel I was going for, thank you for the mock up!

OP posts:
Doobeedoobeedoobee · 22/08/2025 15:54

I think that looks FAB!

Zezet · 22/08/2025 15:54

I think it looks much nicer!

I sympathize with regard to the husband. We are in a similar situation to you in that we bought ugly as that's what we could afford to be in a neighbour we liked (nothing as big as yours now), and we don't have the money to make it nice, and my husband doesn't really see the point in improving it. He lets me and duly says "well done" when I force him to come have a look, but it's very much my show and he doesn't really 'see' the difference.

In our case it took a while to really change the fundamental vibe of the house from "really ugly with a few nice things" to "nice and bright feeling despite all the ugly parts". It's a dozen little projects that all add up in the end. Now I really feel our house is starting to be nice in total. The old-fashioned parts are not so noticeably now, despite still being there.

I think you changed your kitchen from "fundamentally not nice with some nice parts" to "fundamentally nice with some not nice parts". If you do the same in the rest of your house, you might soon find none of the expensive changes are quite as urgent as you thought.

PS: Your husband is behaving like a tool.

Dragonfly97 · 22/08/2025 15:55

You've done a great job!! Shame on your DH for not pitching in to help!!

Mt563 · 22/08/2025 15:55

Pop a rug over the tiles, will tone it down and I think line up with your vision potentially

Minxny · 22/08/2025 15:55

You've really done your research on paint. That will last and last. Thank you for sharing x

BronwenFrideswide · 22/08/2025 15:56

You've done an excellent job, you should be very proud of yourself @Malahala.

Your husband, MIL and 'friend', are so very wrong with their attitude.

Lifealwaysgetsbetter · 22/08/2025 16:02

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

It’s tons better. Apart from the flooring? That looks older? But the rest looks so much better! Well done

Gingercar · 22/08/2025 16:03

You’ve done a great job. I’d just add a Lino personally. Your husband is a sulky miser.

Driftingawaynow · 22/08/2025 16:04

It’s lovely, truely you’ve done a really nice job and just smashed his/your own expectations from the sounds of it. What’s with all the aresholes not praising you like they should?
Your story reminds me of when I did a small kitchen diy update in my own kitchen very early days with my ex. he was dismissive and critical. Over time he continued to chip away at my confidence in myself, and slowly it morphed into abuse and coercive control. Keep an eye on that shit and tell your H to grow the fuck up. And mean it.
well done again!

Jackiepumpkinhead · 22/08/2025 16:05

It looks great! That aside, why are people obsessed with putting extensions on already large houses.

Alltheyellowbirds · 22/08/2025 16:11

Lifealwaysgetsbetter · 22/08/2025 16:02

It’s tons better. Apart from the flooring? That looks older? But the rest looks so much better! Well done

It’s an old house. It’s the original tiled flooring. I think it’s lovely.