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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover

664 replies

Malahala · 22/08/2025 11:06

We moved into our house almost a year ago. It hadn’t been updated in 40 years, but it’s in a great area, between two outstanding schools, and we managed to get it for £200k less than asking as the seller needed a quick sale. It’s a 4-bed with 2 bathrooms, 2 receptions, a separate kitchen and a utility room. It’s a fantastic investment and I still feel lucky to own it.

The reality is we maxed ourselves out buying it, so there’s no money left for big renovations or an extension. My DH doesn’t like the house — he would have preferred a “done” house — but we couldn’t afford that in this area and didn’t want to move elsewhere. His attitude is that everything should be done by professionals, but we can’t afford that either.

So over the past year I’ve been doing most of the work myself: stripping wallpaper, painting, redecorating etc. Recently I tackled the 40-year-old kitchen. We can’t afford new units, so I added panelling to the cupboard doors and painted them, replaced the cabinet handles, removed the lino as it was damaged, stripped wallpaper, painted the walls and the orange tiles, covered the worst tiles with panelling, and wrapped the worktops in vinyl. It’s not perfect — some of the cupboards don’t hang completely straight and need adjusting — but the difference is huge. Instead of a 40-year-old kitchen, it now looks more like a 10-year-old one.

The problem is DH doesn’t appreciate it. He still says the kitchen looks “old” and can’t see the point of me spending a few hundred pounds making it nicer. He hasn’t lifted a finger to help because he doesn’t do DIY, won’t ask FIL (apparently he will be critical because the panelling on the cabinets isn’t quite right) or his builder friend (friend will likely be “too busy”), so it’s all been left to me. His view is we need a new kitchen/extension, but realistically that’s not happening for at least 5 years. I’d rather make it more liveable now.

What’s making me doubt myself is other people’s reactions. A wealthy friend came round and just said, “so much change!” but not that it looked nice. MIL commented on how hard I’d worked rather than how good it looked. My mum loved it and thought a new tap, sink and dishwasher would make a big difference (and she went straight out and bought all of these for me) but she’s also my mum so not that objective. Now I’m worrying I’ve just “polished a turd” and made the kitchen worse, whereas I genuinely feel it’s a big improvement.

Here are the before and (nearly) after photos. They may take a while to load. Be brutally honest — have I done a decent job for a DIY upgrade, or does it look as bad as DH, friend and MIL seem to think? I’m worried I’m embarrassing myself by being so pleased with my efforts.

YABU - I agree with your DH, friend and MIL
YANBU - It looks nice!

To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
To feel deflated about DIY kitchen makeover
OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
DelilahMy · 22/08/2025 13:25

Amazing transformation! Well done you.

I love the red tiled floor.

bridgetreilly · 22/08/2025 13:29

Definitely ask FIL to come over for an afternoon and help you put up a blind, as well as rehang cupboard doors. But great job, OP!

Comtesse · 22/08/2025 13:30

AyeDeadOn · 22/08/2025 11:10

Omg that's an amazing improvement! Well done. Your husband is a tit and doesnt deserve you.

This is about the size of it. He’s being a knob.

I think you should ring your FIL and ask him nicely to come round with his tools.

Your annoying husband can make the sandwiches and keep his opinions to himself!

xILikeJamx · 22/08/2025 13:31

It looks 1000% better in the after photo @Malahala!

As some others have said, maybe pay £100 or so to a joiner to come in and straighten all the doors and it'll look great.

Now just needs some flooring to finish it off. I used self-adhesive vinyl tiles from B&Q (similar to link below) to do our bathroom and WC when we first moved in to our house and they weren't that expensive. As they're tiles they're easier to work with than a big roll of vinyl and you just cut round any corners with a stanley knife.

Self Adhesive Vinyl Tiles and Stick On Floor Tiles at B&Q

Set of 36 Rustic Style Waterproof Wood Grain Self Adhesive Plank Laminate Flooring Vinyl Tile, 5m² Pack

We know what is stopping you from ordering hardwood floors, the high price and the worrying performance. And our PVC wood plank flooring not only offers the rustic look of look but also other benefits at a totally affordable price. Crafted from selecte...

https://www.diy.com/departments/set-of-36-rustic-style-waterproof-wood-grain-self-adhesive-plank-laminate-flooring-vinyl-tile-5m-pack/0735940231695_BQ.prd

Pinkroom · 22/08/2025 13:31

Wow that looks amazing! Looks like a whole new kitchen! Well done you. Ignore your DH, he didn't lift a finger to help so has no right to comment!

nongnangning · 22/08/2025 13:33

Great job!! I think social media has a lot to answer for on these kitchen makeovers. Most people don't have a DeVol kitchen or want to really push the boat out beyond neutral colours. On the other hand it's quite good to be able to learn DIY from watching videos.

To make it look a bit more "different" to the previous version you could as PPs said, put some plants on the windowsill

If you decide you can't clean the quarry tiles here are some linos to make you smile
https://forthefloorandmore.com/product-category/floorcoverings/

Monwmum · 22/08/2025 13:33

Honestly I really don't understand the obsession with having to have everything done and finished and ripped out and done by "professionals" even though many of them are anything but!!

We have owned 3 houses in our marriage, our first we could only afford because it was ex rental and in a state but we could afford it so we bought and do what we could when we could! Eventually moved to a house that didn't need much doing but never felt like our and now our current house was also in a state as had belonged to an old man....again we have lived in it and done what we can when we can through our own hard work...not only is it rewarding but it's yours and like you say we could never have afforded another house in the area so we are more than happy ...it's taken us 8 years to get it pretty much done and we absolutely love it.

Your kitchen looks absolutely amazing...your husband is a plonker quite frankly....

OrangeCars · 22/08/2025 13:35

You've done a fantastic job. Respectfully, fuck those guys who don't agree. You can tell you put a load of effort into it and I think it looks really, really lovely (and not dissimilar to my new kitchen actually - not bragging, we lived with a terrible kitchen for nearly a decade before we redid it!).

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 22/08/2025 13:37

Anyone who doesn't lift a finger to do DIY but then bitches about someone else's work should be ignored utterly. They do not get a say unless they do the work.
I think it looks lovely. And you will get a new kitchen one day, after all, it's not like you've said 'that's it, we don't need to do a thing for the next forty years' is it?

Give him a tin of Farrow and Ball and tell him the living room is his.

ilovetea14 · 22/08/2025 13:37

Wow that looks amazing 👏 the difference is unreal! You should be so proud of yourself! I would love do be able to do that. I'm just about okay at painting 🙈

Saladbar · 22/08/2025 13:38

Way better!! (Not counting the floor ofc which looks worse after but that’s a work in progress).

Your mum is lovely!! And so kind! Your DH is an absolute twat. And a whiny complaining one at that. I’d be saying he either shuts the fuck up moaning or does it himself. He wouldn’t be leaving me to do it all and then bitching. Is not have tolerated him refusing to help tho tbh. Stand up for yourself!

Debsthegardener · 22/08/2025 13:39

Wow, I’m so impressed!!! Can you come and give mine a makeover please. Shame on your husband and those who don’t appreciate it. It really looks great

Itsnotallaboutyoulikeyouthink · 22/08/2025 13:41

Kitchen looks great. Flooring doesn’t though. Perhaps floor tiles temp or a rug - I to or it’s a kitchen but would pull it all together.

Joeydoesntsharefood25 · 22/08/2025 13:42

I think it looks great. Just needs a couple of plants and a nice blind to finish it off

Allisnotlost1 · 22/08/2025 13:43

I think it looks great OP. DH sounds like a PITA.

I love the floor, what’s with all the suggestions for lino? Looks like original tiles. Maybe get a rug if you prefer the feeling underfoot but I think it looks better than any lino I’ve ever seen.

Snazzysausage · 22/08/2025 13:44

It looks great,you should be very proud!
You're married to a tit.

cardibach · 22/08/2025 13:45

EarlofShrewsbury · 22/08/2025 11:15

It looks amazing, just needs new lino.

A few people have said this. I disagree. I love the look of quarry tiles.

plaindress · 22/08/2025 13:47

Maybe your DH is a bit guilty that he has not helped at all. Could you not ask your FIL yourself to help with the doors? He might be pleased to help. It might be your DH is making excuses because really he should be helping you himself surely?

Lafufufu · 22/08/2025 13:47

cardibach · 22/08/2025 13:45

A few people have said this. I disagree. I love the look of quarry tiles.

I really like quarry tiles but those has seen better days and there's no money to repair.

Lino would give an affordable more polished feel

manicpixieschemegirl · 22/08/2025 13:48

You’ve done an amazing job! It’s a million times better than before.

VineandIvy · 22/08/2025 13:49

It’s a big improvement and you did it really well! As others have said a blind and few plants or herbs on the window would just give it the final pop!

My husband is a hype man. My best friends husband shrugs and nods. To everything. His lack of enthusiasm or praise is a 15 year running joke.

Sound’s like it’s just DH’s personality... Next time he makes a snarky remark about your work or the ‘much needed’ extension remind him he’s free to get an extra delivery job in evenings if it’s such a priority for him, shouldn’t be a problem as he’s so much extra time - seeing as he won’t help with any of the DIY stuff.

FinallyHere · 22/08/2025 13:49

You have done a brilliant job on the kitchen. Is your DH always so princess-y? What does he add to your life overall?

Perfectcake · 22/08/2025 13:49

It’s great. Ask FIL to help rehang the doors. Do you like your husband? Sounds unpleasant - I hope he has other good qualities.

godmum56 · 22/08/2025 13:50

Alltheyellowbirds · 22/08/2025 12:59

Why should she put new lino down when she has gorgeous original quarry tiles? It’s a period house, they are absolutely in keeping and don’t need to be covered up. Plus, lino would be another expense.

Edited

the only reason that I would cover quarry tiles is that nothing "bounces" and I am good at dropping china and glass. I covered my ceramic tiled floor with digitally printed Flotex. Its a breeze to clean and I haven't broken anything I dropped since installing it.

Worralorra · 22/08/2025 13:50

It looks much better. Your DH is an arse: learning new skills and applying them is a real gift and saves literally thousands of £££.
We took our downstairs (formerly outside) loo back to brick last year, installed a new chemical doc, tanked the lower half of the brickwork, then insulated, plasterboarded the whole room, lowering the ceiling (it had been a sloping one before) and fitted a lovely new wall-hung loo, new cabinet, mirror as well as tiling and wallpapering. It cost us a few weeks, £2500 for all materials and sanitary ware and saved us £9,500 on builders fees (we had quotes for £12,000 from a couple of builders before deciding to diy)
My DH studied endless YouTube videos for doing the dpc, tanking and installing the loo before embarking on the project, and now our previously cold, damp and shabby loo is warm, dry and beautiful!