To be shocked women still try to stop aging?

[jillyiam]

With alllll the progress we've made within the feminism movement, why is trying to look younger (neck aging, face-lifts, longer hair is 'youthful') still a thing.

Every being is aging right, why do women still carry the shame of it? Being told you look even three years younger is actually intended and received as a compliment.

If we all collectively shun this shit, the industry that forces us to buy its crap, we'll be so much better off. Mentally, financially everything really.

Don’t be so dramatic. That’s not what they said at all

If that's what you think you've read, read again. I said before 50 you have more life ahead than behind, which is generally regarded as a positive because you have better health, more opportunities and more time to enjoy continuing to exist.

I don't know, I can think "wow" just as much as I can think "oh god what happened" when I see people my age. The general look matters a lot, being slim or not, choice of clothes, haircut, teeth and so on, but yes, some people do look A LOT older than others.

I have seen people younger than me looking a lot worst too, which is a bit sad.

By definition I know their age, so they can't change that.

why do you think people want to stay and look younger 😂
of course some of us fully intend on enjoying existing after 50, I don't want to stop having a great sex life the day I turn 50, thanks!

Is it bad that I see people I knew in school who were jerks and feel smug that they aged much worse/more quickly than I did?

What happens if you DGAF about being treated nicely by men?

Is that all you're doing it for? So men will treat you nicely?

What happens when eventually even the tweaked, injected, dyed, made up previously pretty girl ages? Is it OK for men to treat you like shit then?

Or maybe, just maybe, we should hold men responsible for treating everyone with respect, and not because they hope to fuck us? If you go along with the 'must look pretty for men' game, you're implying women are only worth treating well if they attractive. And that is always going to be a temporary thing because everyone ages.

What's going to happen when you age (albeit later than the hags like me)?

Is your life over then?

If you don’t GAF how others treat you, there’s just no advantage to putting in effort to look younger, unless it raises your self esteem… I don’t spend enough of my life looking in the mirror to do it for any other reason than I’ve stated.

I’m not saying it’s right or wrong for people to engage in lookism. I’m just saying they do, and probably always will. You can get angry about it, or you can take advantage, or you can do nothing. It’s completely up to you.

And yessss, I'm sure there are a bunch of special snowflakes here who always resisted. Gold star for you. Yet, there is a whole industry built on this so you're just outliers (but good job!!!!!!)

Wtf! So if I'm not into looking younger I'm then a snowflake? Fyi I'm 45 and rarely wear makeup, cut my hair twice a year, never had a manicure because I'm just not interested. I am interested in being healthy though so I exercice and try to eat healthy stuff (but not depriving myself because life is too short). Why do you think that botox/fillers/plastic surgery would be of any interest to me when I don't spend much time on my looks in the first place?

No one is telling me or forcing me to do anything, I wear makeup because I want to, I suspect you are in your late 50s / 60s and find your dwindling looks hard to deal with, it would make you feel better if all women stopped looking after their appearance as then you feel you wouldn’t feel so bad

I think you misunderstood the poster. She was talking about a state of mind. You get all the botox you feel you need but it's sad that you feel that you need it in the first place.

I think people can have whatever treatments they want. They can do whatever they want with their own faces/bodies. I’m not irate, or even at all bothered about what other people do. I just personally don’t think it makes them look a) younger or b) better. If I did think it achieved those things, I’d have it done myself.
As it is I look after myself, I eat well, I drink plenty of water, I exercise, I use SPF 50 at all times. I think those things do help.

Calling women who have resisted the pressure to have fillers etc “special snowflakes” looks pretty contemptuous to me, @jillyiam!

On the one hand you are deploring the women who have work done/try to hold off ageing, and then at the same time, you sound pretty judgemental of women who haven’t had work done/don’t care about ageing.

Society judges women who age or who don’t ’keep their looks’ so much harder than they judge men who age. It is a horrible attitude, and I believe it is what forces women into feeling they must have fillers/wear make up/stay young. It is dreadful, but until this misogynistic attitude dies, women are going to feel pressured.

I wish I had an easy solution, but what it needs is for the majority of women to just say “fuck it, I’m not bowing to society’s pressure!” - and that is a really difficult thing to ask women to do, when they (possibly rightfully) feel their careers depend on them fitting in.

I have fillers twice a year to stop me looking tired and depressed. It’s hyaluronic acid. It’s replacing the natural volume which has been lost. It is not dangerous!

we age every day, who's pretending otherwise.

We can make it as painless and as slow as we possibly can. No one is deluded enough to think they look 20 or 30 forever (sadly).

I am not a hamster, yellow teeth are not a good look on me, I keep whitening mine until the last possible minute, and yes I look better for it. It's our current fashion, but I live in this world, so I follow it!

On the one hand you are deploring the women who have work done/try to hold off ageing, and then at the same time, you sound pretty judgemental of women who haven’t had work done/don’t care about ageing.

I meant women who will use the fact that they have no undertaken anti-aging as a stick to hit women who have- hence saying yes I know you're special

Its not that hard to understand if you stopped knotting yourself up finding a reason to judge me

Crabbed Age and Youth
Cannot live together:
Youth is full of pleasance,
Age is full of care;
Youth like summer morn,
Age like winter weather;
Youth like summer brave,
Age like winter bare:
Youth is full of sports,
Age's breath is short,
Youth is nimble, Age is lame:
Youth is hot and bold,
Age is weak and cold,
Youth is wild, and Age is tame:-
Age, I do abhor thee;
Youth, I do adore thee.

There's nothing new about despising age! Wm Shakespeare wasn't prey to misogyny, but he still wasn't keen on getting old. He didn't, either - 52 was getting on a bit in his era, but evidently some did survive to be crabbed and careworn.

There is another option. Not caring what men who are controlled by their hormones think. Regardless of how aged and ugly or young and beautiful we are.

We're not here just for their visual consumption.

Right, that’s why I said you can choose to do nothing

Sailing is brutal though. You need that spf moisturiser and hat.

I want to look well for me. I look after myself, diet, sport, skin, for me.

My mum was a natural blond but she slapped on those moisturisers religiously, including her decolletage.

Her skin upon her death at 87 was frankly incredible.

I think most people of both sexes would rather look younger; to look old is a reminder that you’re closer to your inevitable death.

Yes I agree with SPF (unfortunately I discovered it a little too late ) although do wear it everyday now. I was victim of a very bad boozy/faggy youth culture 🚬😬: I no longer do either : but I reckon my skin won't lie about those days in a few years !!

For me, im not interested in Botox or fillers etc. it's not for me

i do care about my skin. I've got problematic skin so I look after it so it doesn't flair/get too dried out.

i dye my hair because I prefer it. I have long hair (and am older) again because I prefer it.

i take supplements. They are for other things, but have added benefits of being good for hair and skin.

it really doesn't have to be either extreme.

I think it's a lack of respect for your partner not to take care of yourself. It goes both ways, I expect mine to care enough for me to keep some standards and to make an effort. So I do the same.

Even if I was single, I would still want to look good, and why not?

That’s a good point!

I’m married to someone 25 years my senior, and while I don’t think he’d leave me for anyone younger, it doesn’t hurt to look after my appearance. I won’t look this way forever, but I can do my best. He certainly does the same for me.