To be shocked women still try to stop aging?

[jillyiam]

With alllll the progress we've made within the feminism movement, why is trying to look younger (neck aging, face-lifts, longer hair is 'youthful') still a thing.

Every being is aging right, why do women still carry the shame of it? Being told you look even three years younger is actually intended and received as a compliment.

If we all collectively shun this shit, the industry that forces us to buy its crap, we'll be so much better off. Mentally, financially everything really.

Or perhaps being a feminist means you kick ass in life regardless of how you look- ugly or amazing.

I’m 51 & perimenopausal, & my version of fighting ageing is staying strong & healthy through weightlifting, cardio, yoga, staying hydrated & eating healthy home-cooked food.

I use skin creams but haven’t worn makeup since my 20s, am happily embracing the grey & have no interest in getting fillers, Botox or any stuff like that.

It’s worked so far & I’m happy with what I see in the mirror.

This is fine, literally I have nothing wrong with this mentality.

What I have an issue with is the OP wanting some sort of ‘collective action’ or change in our group mentality to reject this stuff.

Why do things like Botox bother OP? Why does she care what the rest of us do to look good? How does this affect her personally?

that was my point, you can be a glittery version of Barbie and still be a successful and bright woman, and a feminist.

Botox, hair extension, make-up and high heels have nothing to do with being a feminist or being a success.

Personally I think it's more impressive if a woman doesnt have any pretty privilege and still makes it to the top. That's true talent, intelligence, skill. Not based on looks in any way.

That was my point, you can be a glittery version of Barbie and still be a successful and bright woman, and a feminist

The ultimate version being Dolly Parton, who is glittery, successful & generally brilliant?

The idea of having stuff injected into my body or being cut / burned for cosmetic purposes makes me shudder, but that’s my body. Half the time I don’t notice if women are wearing makeup, apart from those big fake eyelashes, so I’m unlikely to notice anything else unless it’s really obvious.

I don't agree at all.

People love to pretend that pretty means "stupid" or that a "pretty privilege" gives you heads up. It takes more talent, intelligence and skill to be taken seriously and respected.

I have more respect for women who are both and don't feel the need to hide.

I dont think a woman's appearance should be brought into it at all if your talking about feminism. Your post I originally referred to you said feminism is about proving you can look amazing AND ...

Why bring looks into it just because someone is female.

With alllll the progress we've made within the feminism movement,

literally the first sentence of the OP...

It's everyone's choice to decide what to spend their money on and how they want to look. That's not to say that I don't sometimes look at someone who has had work done and wonder why on earth they thought it was a good look, but that's just the same as looking at any other fashion trend and wondering why people like how it looks. I'm sure plenty of people look at me and think they'd never wear that.

I'm low maintenance because I'm lazy, pain averse, and prioritise my money elsewhere. You won't find me getting lip fillers, or botox, or with 2 inch long acrylic nails, but you also won't find me trying to tell other women they shouldn't.

Some people can’t afford surgery, others are scared, some don’t want to.

I'm talking about what you wrote. I was responding to your comment.

Well, I wrote in the context of this thread, in reply to the comments above, isn't that obvious?

You said feminism was about proving you can look amazing and doing well in life/work and I suggested it was about smashing it regardless of how a woman looks. Only industry where it might be ok would be the modeling industry as both men and women would be getting judged on their looks. I think your a bit out of date with suggesting attractive women arent taken seriously and therefore have to work harder.

This.
Obviously so many women look absolutely dreadful post treatment, I think it’s very sad they feel the need to do so.
If even celebrities, who can afford the best, start looking dreadful why would anyone think it might help them?
I guess it is that short term vision, and then once you get started it's too late.

When did feminism change from

we're not allowed to do things, but we are responsible adults who can make sensible decisions so give us agency* and we shall prove how foolish you were to treat us as inferior

to

• we're allowed to do what we want but patriarchy infects us all and so the dumb choices we make are not our fault

It's not like the fashion and make-up industry is staffed entirely by men, is it? I believe, shock horror, there are even cosmetic surgeons who are women

You can judge women's equality by looking at how much we are sexualized. Women are self-sexualizing at an incredible rate due to social media. Its built on compare and despair. I hear you. I agree. Dealing with my own existential crisis here: menopause, aging...all of it and I know it's bullshit to want to look younger, yet here I am with meno bod, meno energy and meno skin. The practice is self acceptance and that is very, very difficult.

This is actually a paradox. A lot of cultures where women are not sexualized and modesty is pushed are in fact very oppressive. Afghanistan is an extreme example, but you could find this among the Amish too.

Female freedom often goes with freedom to show off your looks. You may not like how other women express themselves, but you should accept it all the same.

Im 50 and look after myself.

i don’t want to look younger. I want to be the best i can at 50!

my outdated comment was in reply of a comment saying that women who are not attractive deserve more respect.

I disagree.

If you could take my posts in the context they were written? that would help.

And you thought the opposite- you thought it was more impressive when achieved by an attractive woman because you think they are at a disadvantage. We disagree on who has it worse. But hopefully we can agree that success in the workplace or in life in general should be separate from how someone looks.

Why are you so bothered how other women spend their time & money? Live & let live.

Interesting comment. I'm 49 and still have a sex drive though it's not what it was 25 years ago (thank goodness, in some ways!) But in order to have a sex drive I have to find myself attractive and feel confident in my body. That's not to say I have to be physical perfection or look young for my age, but I can look at myself and think "Yeah, not bad." I've lost two stone recently and most of that was for health reasons but I certainly feel more aesthetically pleasing to myself and feel more sexy and like having sex every now and then. I can't completely separate this from socialisation or a patriarchal society but at least to me, it really feels like this is something for my own benefit as I feel pretty good about it. Whilst being slightly annoyed as I am exactly the same person as I was six months ago when I was two stone heavier.

Having been considered attractive in my younger days, ageing is hard. I know that I am still attractive to my husband and to a diminishingl number of other men. I recognise that the strive for an impossible instagram aesthetic is harming women of all ages, so not having Botox or fillers is my way of fighting back for women. It’s a hard and lonely battle - a huge part of me wants the face lift and fillers. Then I see how those look after a few years and remind myself of the long term prize which is to be 90 with flawless skin!

I live in an area with a lot of active older women, out jogging, doing yoga, sea swimming. They are my inspiration.

What is your definition of flawless skin? And what would that look like at 90?