To be shocked women still try to stop aging?

[jillyiam]

With alllll the progress we've made within the feminism movement, why is trying to look younger (neck aging, face-lifts, longer hair is 'youthful') still a thing.

Every being is aging right, why do women still carry the shame of it? Being told you look even three years younger is actually intended and received as a compliment.

If we all collectively shun this shit, the industry that forces us to buy its crap, we'll be so much better off. Mentally, financially everything really.

people have been trying to look younger in most cultures since the dawn of time. Elizabeth the first probably died from lead poisoning due to the lead based white paint she used on her face for this purpose. I’d argue that the desire to look and feel younger just naturally goes hand in hand with the ageing process in a large percentage of people. And I guess we have easier access now to cosmetic procedures that can help (or hinder depending on how they are done), with that…
Im a pretty left wing person who would consider themself a feminist, but I’m no stranger to a nip on the old Botox tap now and again. Just makes me feel better when I look in the mirror. I’m sure that’s to do with the patriarchy somewhere down the line or possibly I’m just vain-I care not really.

You raised an interesting issue @jillyiam but shit the bed with your contempt damning with faint praise for those women who do not conform to society's pressures:
And yessss, I'm sure there are a bunch of special snowflakes here who always resisted. Gold star for you. Yet, there is a whole industry built on this so you're just outliers (but good job!!!!!!)

Shame on you.

Is feminism not about the freedom to choose what you do to/with your body/life etc?

I cant these posts women judging women. People do what makes them feel good, there's nothing wrong with that. People saying their growing old gracefully and aren't vain. I bet you dye your hair, wear makeup, buy anti aging face creams etc. We want to look good theres nothing wrong with that.

If feminism means that we have to accept aging or remaining ugly, then you are gonna get a lot of people rejecting that label.

People want to be young, energetic, beautiful. These are all positive things.

Men look way better with their hair tho. Wish more men would look into hair transplants or some of the more recent topicals

No. Feminism is the movement that frees women and girls from patriarchy. The worst lie ever sold to women was that things like sex work or stripping for money is empowering. It’s not. It serves men.

OP I sort of disagree with you. There are things way more damaging to women than them having a bit of botox to extend their careers in male dominated industries for example. However Porn has created many concerns for me in terms of men’s expectations of women.

I am more worried about Porn, prostitution and surrogacy if I’m honest and the rise of men like Tate. The loss of the definition of woman even.

Women are already taking back their power by having less children,
staying single and having careers.

Thing is, none of them work. You still look the age you are because that's the age you are. You look the age you are with an expensive haircut. You look the age you are in fashionable clothes. You look the age you are with botox and fillers. You look the age you are despite the skincare regime. None of these things defy your actual age.

On the other hand, being stylish and attractive throughout the stages is great.

Well said.

It’s nothing to do with the patriarchy. Or feminism. Women will always endeavour to look younger because they are biologically in competition with younger women for male attention. Whether consciously or sub consciously, whether they are aware of it or not, whether they are willing to admit it or not (on MN, mostly not), that is the primary driver. Biology. Cosmetic surgery, boob jobs, face lifts, lip fillers are all the modern day expression of that trend which has been around since day dot and will never go away. No amount of feminism will remove that and it will always be this.

I've always looked younger than my age naturally but I tried botox and fillers in my mid-40's. They got rid of expression lines and just looked fake, so never again unless for medical reasons! I would def not have a face lift, though I am toying with upper eyelid work because I have almost lost my double eyelid.

In the last 12m, I'm 60 next year, I have had a facial every 4 weeks or so and that has been so effective - my expression lines are there but so much less visible (Korean products) and my colour is more even. I also use a cheaper serum daily (Balance collagen rejuvenation), a moisturiser and wear foundation with sunscreen (heliocare).

I went from blonde highlights back to my natural colour too.

All in all I now feel like I'm good with my age and how I look. I haven't done this for anyone except me - my DH died >9 years ago and I honestly don't want a partner. Why do I spend £80 a month on facial and products? Because it makes me feel better and has also meant I win contracts. Ageism is rife in business.

And staying young looking isnt just a female thing, men worry about it too. My DS looks very young (my whole family do). He recently got concerned about widows peak. I bought him rosemary oil and a roller applicator. It worked.

This.

I don't get the fear of aging, and the obsession to look younger.

I count myself very lucky that so far I am not bothered about my age. I will be 56 in a few weeks. Others seem more bothered about how old I am, than I am.

Of course I look older than I did, but I am very happy with my looks. Not because I am a doppelgänger for Monica Belluci, but because I just am. My DH thinks I am attractive, and that's all I care about really.

I look after myself really well. I am a healthy weight, I eat well, and I look after my skin. The people I admire the most, looks wise, are those who look after themselves, and look good for their age. If you take care of yourself you'll look good for your age.

I don't ever want to have botox or fillers. TBH I don't think I need them and since I am perfectly happy with my face the way it is, I'll just carry on doing what I am doing.

I do get annoyed that botox and fillers is the new normal, and that as a woman we are pressured into getting on the look younger bandwagon.

One of my relatives has botox and fillers. I've heard people say to her "you look so great, you look so well" but I disagree. Her whole forehead is flat and shiny, and it has pushed her eyebrows down and made the skin under her eyes look really terrible. She doesn't need it. She actually looks really great naturally. I think that she is doing some serious damage to her face doing this.

I go to aa couple of beauticians for eyebrows and a facial. They tell me that very few of their clients take care of their skin and just layer over it with botox, fillers, lip enhancements and eyelashes.

If you want to age well and look good, what we need to do is pay attention to your diet, nutrition and fitness. Then everything else follows suit.

I think you're unreasonable to be shocked by it. It's been around a long time and the pressure on women to be beautiful still exists.

And yessss, I'm sure there are a bunch of special snowflakes here who always resisted. Gold star for you. Yet, there is a whole industry built on this so you're just outliers (but good job!!!!!!)

Some of us are just naturally youthful looking. We just can't help it, sorry.

Yeah I sure spend a lot on products for someone who doesn't care. It's hard wired and supercharged by culture and capitalism.

So those who resist are the snowflakes? Eh, you've got that metaphor the wrong way round. Failure to resist social pressure, giving into it is the weakness. Not standing against it.

Op you are ‘shocked’? Really?

I think it’s normal human behaviour. Oh. And men do it too! Not exclusive to women at all

What’s your stance on HRT op?

Totally agree. Come back in a hundred years, or a thousand. It will be the same.

Injecting fillers is positive?

Botox (botulism)?

Surgery is positive?

Implants are positive?

I can understand stuff like make-up, hair dye, nice clothes. Non-extreme. No danger. No risk.

There are degrees. If you're taking physical risks to life or limb, that isn't a positive thing. I completely accept (100%) the right of the individual to do those things at the same time as thinking they're not sensible choices.

This just isn't true though, is it? Well-done botox/fillers really do change a persons appearance and make them look younger. People who don't like this sort of thing always deny that it works but when you compare someone who has regularly had botox to someone who hasn't, the results speak for themselves.

Exactly. Of course they can work if done well. Countless examples of that.

Christ im having a bad week. Just about to take my 48 year old self to the gym. Im on weight loss injections. I'm having my hair highlighted next week and brows waxed. Week after im going to a spa as an end of work treat to myself.
None of this is due to anything other than what I want to do!
An obese, in pain sad person was who I've been until I've taken my physical health in hand. Fuck the patriarchy. Hair, botox whatever I do...because I like it and I'm vain..... and I can!

Have you seen the recent stuff that is coming out about fillers though? They're dangerous!

IF they were completely safe, although I'd not want them myself, I'd think 'Crack on, each to their own.' But to take those risks with your health and life? Just for the sake of knocking 5 years off your visual appearance? It's the equivalent of using arsenic in face powder 150 years ago.