To be shocked women still try to stop aging?

[jillyiam]

With alllll the progress we've made within the feminism movement, why is trying to look younger (neck aging, face-lifts, longer hair is 'youthful') still a thing.

Every being is aging right, why do women still carry the shame of it? Being told you look even three years younger is actually intended and received as a compliment.

If we all collectively shun this shit, the industry that forces us to buy its crap, we'll be so much better off. Mentally, financially everything really.

Absolutely agree that attitude is not on.

I hear what your saying and definitely agree we need to be very concerned about the health of people and quality of procedures offered etc.

And as I said I am against society telling women or making women feel they have to look a certain way - but telling a women they should be embarrassed or feel ashamed about having a procedure is not on either - and others do this - it is just as bad in my opinion.

Im 63 and along with my circle of friends (say about ten women ranging from 52 to 68) none of us have had any ‘work’ done. But a few of us dye our hair, all try to maintain a healthy weight, and dress nicely. All have partners except me (widow for some years).
Is this a bad thing? Yes I suppose there’s pressure to look the best we can at our age, but I’m not sure that’s a negative. And none of us are trying to look younger, just not older! Sure I could stop dying my hair, gain a few stone and wear the same oversized sweater and comfy leggings but I have some pride in my appearance. I don’t want to look ten years younger, but I do want to look the best 63 year old that I can!

I'm not shocked, but I am sad.

There is no pressure on dh to look young, or be young. He is respected because he is older and has experience. Middle aged spread and grey hair affords him gravitas.

Women are useless past their prime. And our looks give that away. So we fight endlessly to pretend we're younger than we are.

I'm mid 40s. I love, love, love middle age. I'm confident and stand up for myself in a way I wouldn't have in my 20s. I don't want to look younger. I hate that I'm in a society that values youth over wisdom. Especially if you're a woman. I'm at a point where having my body feel young is much more important than looking young. But you don't really get that until you start to creak.

And you might think that looking young etc is your choice, but what's informed that choice? We're all a product of our society. And western society bombards us with those messages, endlessly. Look at all the language we use: old bag, little old lady, Karen, frumpy, past it etc etc.

You can still enjoy the privilege of being alive if you get Botox 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Absolutely hate that sanctimonious bollocks; turns up on every thread. Halo’s everywhere.

Patriarchy patriarchy patriarchy. Is it like beetlejuice and it will come out if you say it three times cos all I ever see is women bitching on women about appearance for whatever they choose.

But my daughter (21) said when she is 50, will everyone be having botox and will there be anyone left ageing normally here? It’s a valid question.

This just doesn't make sense to me, is it a regional thing? Or are "ordinary" untweaked women just invisible? Where I live, South london, the vast majority of women do not do things like botox or fillers. I was thinking about this thread this morning and looking around during nursery drop off.

At ds's nursery the staff are nearly all women - again maybe 2 or 3 have had something done, maximum.

Walking down the street, past the bakery, cafe, corner shop, greasy spoon - none of the women working there or the women customers, of all ages, look visibly tweaked (and I can usually tell).

I know all the mums in dd's class, I'd say maybe only 3 or 4 of them have had their lips done, which is a few but no way near a majority.

My conclusion is that "ordinary" women like me, who don't do that stuff, are just the invisible majority.

Exactly, it is so tired and depressing.

I think people who say "nearly all women do botox" are thinking of fashionable women in their own circle, not "invisible" women like the woman working at the bakery, the nursery staff, the bus drivers, etc. Because when I look around, most women don't look tweakmented.

There is a former colleague who is 74/75 now. She still dyes her hair a dark brown with mahogany highlights - as she did when working . Haven't seen her for 2/3 years then when I stopped at some traffic lights at a red light - she was crossing the road. Her dark hair made her look ill.

How old are you?

I’m quite happy to look my age - 51.

I’m not happy to look like a miserable 51 year old, with a downturned mouth and eyelids I need scaffolding for. I want to recognise myself in the mirror!

Some people age better than others. Some are like a fine wine - I was more like a bottle of milk. So I have tweaks and I’m not sorry.

She was not talking about now. She was saying when she is 50. In 30y time. She was musing whether it will become the norm.

It's all a con
All the women on SM have their pictures/ videos digitally altered.
I have seen many close up as part of my job
THEY DO NOT REALLY LOOK LIKE THAT
It's a massive industry complete with ego massaging as part of the expensive package

Once you get on for the ride it's hard to get off.
Like Slimming world they want you to keep coming back and giving them your money.
It's a process of escalation
Bit of botox/ new lines form as the un botoxed muscles take over/ fillers migrates/ sagging/ multiple procedures/ face balancing and at 39 you are staring down the barrel of a face lift .

Because ageism is still a thing.

You could equally ask why do black people modify their behaviour around police or in certain social situations in a way white people don't?

AFAIC, I'm not trying to look 20 years younger at 50, but neither do I want to look 70 either. I use moisturiser as it makes my skin look and feel better, as in comfortable to be in! And women's skin is much thinner than men's and needs a bit more TLC. I'm happy to look and be my age.

I understand what she said but 30 years is a really short time for something that is still a minority to become "everyone". It implied she thinks it's way more common than it is. 30 years ago was 1995, beauty standards haven't changed to such an extreme extent in that time, and nor will they in 2055.

The op as well seems to think that any woman who doesn't do tweakments is a special snowflake, rather than just...your average woman on the street.

So all I'm saying is...look around at actual ordinary women on the street, not the fashionable ones but the women working in ordinary jobs. The vast majority haven't had anything done.

And yessss, I'm sure there are a bunch of special snowflakes here who always resisted. Gold star for you. Yet, there is a whole industry built on this so you're just outliers (but good job!!!!!!)

That's a hideous comment to make about naturally aging women OP.
They are definitely not snowflakes, given the societal pressures and now comments like yours, they are subjected to.

I love that line in SATC where Samatha says to some woman in Saks offering a facelift in a jar

"this is my face. deal with it."

I don't love the programme and think it has loads of hypocritical parts, but I do love that scene and wish women would collectively channel more of that.

I want to look my best for the age I am.
I dont want to look forever youthful however if I get masses of sagging skin or very heavy eye bags or lids then I wouldnt hesitate

I've never ruled anything out, but at 20 I thought I'd wait and see how I feel at 50. At 50 I still don't want anything done, if anything I'm only more confident in my appearance and in every aspect of life, and don't worry about half the things I did at 20. And I certainly don't want a duck face. I've never had big lips and it would look so weird. You may as well have "chav" tattooed on your forehead at the same time. It looks shit.

The futility of it is sort of touching. I have never seen anyone who genuinely does look significantly younger than their years except occasionally among the elderly- you sometimes see an 80 year old who passes for someone in their 60s. But a lot of that is about their posture and mobility.

Someone in their 20s who is already on the botox/filler train invariably looks older, though.

I'm 39 and have an energetic toddler and it shows in my face. I've also got about 40% grey hair whilst the natural colour is very dark brown. So it's very noticeable. I personally wouldn't have Botox/ fillers etc even if I could afford it. And I also don't do anything special for skincare or dye my hair. I think a large part of the problem is that women care way too much what other people think of them, especially regarding appearance. It's very liberating to be able to just be exactly who you are and not give one flying fuck about anyones opinion on it. Women would be far happier if they could just have that attitude 😁

My 80 -yr -old mum does look 65. She"s very slim, fit and smiley. Wears almost no makeup.

I, on the other hand, look every year of my age!

The women in their 20s who have it, often look older I think. Maybe that is what they want? It seems an odd move for young women.