To be shocked women still try to stop aging?

[jillyiam]

With alllll the progress we've made within the feminism movement, why is trying to look younger (neck aging, face-lifts, longer hair is 'youthful') still a thing.

Every being is aging right, why do women still carry the shame of it? Being told you look even three years younger is actually intended and received as a compliment.

If we all collectively shun this shit, the industry that forces us to buy its crap, we'll be so much better off. Mentally, financially everything really.

I never thought I’d go down this route but I have some very glamorous, natural looking friends in their 50s and I discovered they all have Botox. No pumped lips just younger looking. I’ve told dh i plan to go that route. Wouldn’t have surgery though. I also like having my nails and hair done. I don’t really want to have a wrinkly face until I’m 60 so I’ll hold it off. Not doing it for men, it’s about how I feel.

I like making the most of what I've got.

You could be "shocked" that we paint our perfectly fine natural nails. I do it because it looks nice (to me), I enjoy it and it makes me feel good.

I also feel like early 40s is a weird 'shoulder/transitional' age. I follow some ladies on YouTube who are 70, and have faces full of wrinkles, but are still really trendy and pretty, and I think they look fantastic and I would kill to look like them at that age. But, in my early 40s, I'm not ready to embrace the ageing process just yet, although I'm accepting that it has definitely begun.

I also think women are endlessly being told what to do / what not to do. Berrating us for trying to look younger / fresher is just one more thing to add to the list of things we're doing wrong!

And yessss, I'm sure there are a bunch of special snowflakes here who always resisted

You're implying that it's a small minority of women who don't do botox and other tweakments etc but actually it's the majority. You just don't notice them.

I think you should consider why you don't notice those women, they're all around you.

"Special Snowflakes". How delightful. Your post is clearly intended to be inflammatory.

I'm 61 and very happy to be an outlier. I've never followed the crowd so why would I start now?

I prefer to spend my money on good clothes, books and art. I worry far more about Alzheimers (due to my family history) than I do about whether I look young. I eat well, stay out of the sun and keep active.

I do commit one cardinal sin though; I have hair long enough to sit on. No vanity about it, just embracing my inner witch.

I'm 66.
I invest a lot in keeping healthy as I see relatives and friends who struggle with mobility, are on medication and are old before their time. I spend money on the gym, pilates, a PT, regular facials and massages.
I certainly don't look 66. I have good skin, good teeth and a positive attitude despite a shit year including my ds's suicide. I'd never have invasive procedures...I had some milia removed last week but that's about it.
I have hair every 5 weeks and regular gel nails ...because I can. Not because my dh expects it.

There does always seem to be an underlying tone on these threads that if you don’t do Botox, fillers, eyelashes and lips then you are a frump and have a mono brow.

It’s not necessarily true.

What else do you do to maintain your youth?

How much water do you drink? What food do you eat? What are exercise do you do? What skin care routine have you got?

Someone who does all this is doing a better job of investing in themselves and looking younger.

Why is it always ‘the patriarchy’.
we are all aging and the end result of aging is dying. Is it really not in most people’s natural instincts to want to look if not be younger as it is an emotional pulling away from the inevitablity of death. Not to attract men’s gaze.
humans have always wanted to live longer. To avoid the decline of old age. Not because they want to look pretty but because we don’t want to die. Aging is a reminder we are heading ever closer to death.

Fillers aren't dangerous. What's dangerous is people going to dodgy practitioners and anyone who uses unlicensed prescribers.
I'd get a fair bit done, if I had the money. A lot can be done with non invasive treatments these days, but a course for many is at least £600. I am about to spend £250 on my eyebrows and I'm having to rethink my hair colouring, though. There's still places I want to visit and luckily I'm not in the workplace, so ageism doesn't feature in my life, except in a positive way (as in getting treated kindly going through airports and getting a seat).
A life of keeping out of the sun and in shade of an afternoon, isn't a life well lived and more extreme than injectables. A pp mentioned her skin because she couldn't go in the sun, but to everyone else you are still a, near 60 year old woman, so it's of no personal benefit, although I realise the sun dodging was medical. It's considered abhorrent on here, but it serves post menopausal women well, if they are slightly overweight, do weights and eat those calories.

How old are you, OP?

I was about to make a similar point - women want to look younger (and more attractive) because generally you are treated a lot better - if ppl didn’t judge ppl’s outward appearance it obv wouldn’t be as big a thing. Also, for women looking for partners, the vast majority of men are looks-driven so to even stand a chance in the dating pool women will feel they have to present their ‘best selves’.

There’s countless threads saying how attractive women will be with less attractive but funny/ kind/ sensitive/ intelligent men - with most men appearance is the primary factor and you don’t often see as many attractive men at the beginning of relationships with drastically less attractive women. You just don’t.

Obv ppl will always want to look their best for themselves, but how you’re treated by others and the opportunities that brings will always be a huge factor of the decisions ppl make.

You only have to look at older actresses who have tried to hold off ageing by any means to know it doesn't work. Facelifts injectables etc just make you look like someone who's had a facelift and/or injectables. All the creams in the world won't hold back time. You might look good but you'll still look mature/old/aged.

Men try and look after their skin and hair too 🤷‍♀️

True feminism is doing what the fuck you want... without being judged by other women.
Do what you want and stop judging others.

Agree.

I was on holiday recently and the younger women on the plane with those awful lips. That's an example of something that's trendy in some women and doesn't make them look younger, just duck like. The side profile is unreal. Botox and fillers is seen everywhere on social media so perhaps women who have lower self esteem think they must join in regardless.

I don’t think in my circle a majority of women are doing fillers and the like.

Oh look…another day another thread slagging off women for making their own choices.

I mean this one is special because you’re damned if you do, and you’re a special snowflake if you don’t, but still.

Why are we doing this to each other on here, continually? What a damn waste of our collective time and brains.

Those things aren't mutually exclusive but none of them will make you look 'younger'.

Is it only the anti aging procedures you have an issue with. Do you have an issue with things like:

• teeth straightening
• acne control and treatment
• attempting to have the perfect figure (whatever that is at the moment)
• hair cuts
• makeup
• moisturizers and such like

I think to done extent we all do something to improve our appearance. I have a friend who spends nothing on hair, makeup and suchlike but spends a fortune on her teeth.

I know someone who didn't used to spend much time on their looks but now as they are retired spend a lot of time and probably money on hair and beauticians. I see it as maybe her trying to look after herself after years of working hard.

I use makeup and skincare (SPF) but I rarely go to hairdressers.

To some extent I think we all succumb to social pressure to look a certain way but I guess some go to more lengths to achieve a certain look.

I am older.but want to "gild the liliy"as my Nan used to say for as long as possible. The vast majority of women feel the same .how many natural blondes are there. I thank L'Oréal very much for their night creams and hair colours! Mum used to say night cream was good from around 25 on .unless you are Karen Brady with half a mil or so for plastics. Every woman from cleaner's to "CEO deserves to look and feel her best9

I’d like to know the answer to the question I asked about HRT.

May I ask how old you are?

I would say that how we dress and how we speak has a far bigger impact on how we are treated @SomewhatAnnoyed

I’m not sure allllll this progress has been made, or at least maintained, we’re going backwards recently at a rate of knots.

Also, it’s all very well to expect women to withhold the onslaught of a patriarchal society but they still live within it. For example, I’d love to think that I’m brave keeping hair uncoloured and ‘embracing’ my grey but if I had to go to a job interview in my 50s? Then I have a better chance in many cases by dying it. Yes, it’s shit, but it’s not my failing.

Or, how about, it has nothing to do with feminism and just wanting to look your best in a way that suits you and not some random uppity on Mumsnet?

i get my hair bleached, is that ok with you?

My aunt died in her early 50s of cancer. Before she died she said to me that growing old was a privilege.

I think about this a lot. Every grey. Every line. I just think this is a privilege that loads of people don’t get to experience.