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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be slightly loving hearing my kids misbehave?

138 replies

Houghers · 21/08/2025 14:42

I’m a SAHM. Dh appreciates what I do in the home but every now I will get an annoying comment like “well I’m the one getting up at 3 am tomorrow” (dh is a pilot). These comments are rare but they can sting when I perceive them to mean DH’s role/routine is of more importance than mine.

Anyway, dh has today off. He has said I can have the day to myself. I spent the morning out with my sister and am now in my robe ready to get in the bath and just deep condition EVERYTHING ahead of a meal out with friends.

Our bedroom has a Juliet balcony. I can hear the kids being absolute terrors for dh in the garden. They are normally quite easy going but it’s one of those days. And the dog is randomly being a bit of a handful as well. I can hear dh is stressed in his voice. He went out to the garden with his laptop and a coffee and neither have been touched.

He just asked my son “what’s going on with you today, mate?” 😂

Im in bed. Secretly loving the kids giving him a hard time

Two of the kids go to school/nursery (part time for one). But I always love when he gets an insight into what my life looks like.

OP posts:
TinyCottageGirl · 21/08/2025 14:49

Haha no I would be the same and absolutely love it!

nomas · 21/08/2025 14:56

You had me at SAHM.

Lock the bathroom / bedroom door.

Coconutter24 · 21/08/2025 15:19

I voted YABU, your DH has a job which must be quite stressful at times because of how much pressure there is to safely get people about plus he obviously works long hours and early starts. Yet he’s got a day off and said he’ll watch the kids so you can also have a day off to do whatever you want but you’re hear gloating that he’s sounding stressed and the kids are misbehaving.

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 21/08/2025 15:51

Coconutter24 · 21/08/2025 15:19

I voted YABU, your DH has a job which must be quite stressful at times because of how much pressure there is to safely get people about plus he obviously works long hours and early starts. Yet he’s got a day off and said he’ll watch the kids so you can also have a day off to do whatever you want but you’re hear gloating that he’s sounding stressed and the kids are misbehaving.

Being a special man with a special big man job doesn't absolve him of parenting his children.

The OP must get this day in day out at home with the kids.

Sometimes it is nice to know that kids are being kids which includes misbehaving, and realising the other person also gets to have a slice of your life, while you take a step back.

Tagyoureit · 21/08/2025 15:52

I do relish those moments 😂

VickyEadieofThigh · 21/08/2025 15:55

I'm flying tomorrow. Hope this stressed out pilot isn't flying my plane.

Parksinyork · 21/08/2025 15:55

I imagine they’re playing up because they’re used to you prempting the need for drinks, snacks and redirecting them away from things when you know in 10 mins there will be a kick off if they continue.

My DH took 2 weeks off work when my Mum died. I was still around doing some stuff and he had way less to do then I normally would. He was exhausted but then he was also grieving too. But it gave him a better insight into my days.

VaseofViolets · 21/08/2025 15:58

You’re enjoying the fact his life’s being made more difficult and stressful by your kids misbehaving? Nice. That’s team player behaviour right there. Glad you’re not on mine 🙄

FirmAzurePoet · 21/08/2025 16:09

So, on his day off he has the kids, told you to do whatever you like...and you're gloating he is struggling? I don't get the mentality.
All because he mentions the time he has to be up every now and again?

mumofoneAloneandwell · 21/08/2025 16:21

Yanbu at all 😄, have a lovely evening out x

Coconutter24 · 21/08/2025 16:22

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 21/08/2025 15:51

Being a special man with a special big man job doesn't absolve him of parenting his children.

The OP must get this day in day out at home with the kids.

Sometimes it is nice to know that kids are being kids which includes misbehaving, and realising the other person also gets to have a slice of your life, while you take a step back.

Show quote history

Who said anything about him being a special man with a special big man job? No it doesn’t absolve him of parenting but as OP is a stay at home mum that usually has very little down time, even on dads day off mums are usually there doing the bulk of it but he’s told her she can have the day off, so now she is free to do whatever she chooses and it sounds like a nice day. I just don’t understand the gloating after he’s done something nice for her

DelilahMy · 21/08/2025 16:25

.

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 21/08/2025 16:26

Coconutter24 · 21/08/2025 16:22

Who said anything about him being a special man with a special big man job? No it doesn’t absolve him of parenting but as OP is a stay at home mum that usually has very little down time, even on dads day off mums are usually there doing the bulk of it but he’s told her she can have the day off, so now she is free to do whatever she chooses and it sounds like a nice day. I just don’t understand the gloating after he’s done something nice for her

Show quote history

Because it isn't something nice for her, is it? It's being an equal parent.

And this is a chat forum, she can post whatever she likes.

Balloonhearts · 21/08/2025 16:30

I loan a horse from my riding school one day a week in exchange for work and this snotty teenage brat who has her own ponies is always making comments about how everything must be "so easy for me because he is a school horse, its not like having a 'real' horse" Everything I achieve is dismissed as 'anyone can ride a school horse."

Her pony went lame and she had a lesson on said school horse. He was an absolute twat for her. He was rude, bolshy, refused to trot, only canter, was difficult on the ground, wouldn't stand and nipped her when she went to put his bridle on. Was just generally an arse the whole lesson.

She came out in tears, thrust him at me and stormed off. He stood quietly and scratched my back for me while I untacked him and gave me big slobbery kisses before wandering off up the field. Am I still enjoying the warm glow of secret smugness? Yes, yes I am.

Sometimes it's just nice when people realise that you work damn hard and actually what you do isn't easy. It's satisfying watching your point be proven.

BauhausOfEliott · 21/08/2025 16:34

I find it a bit weird that you seem to see your marriage as a sort of competition.

I don't think him saying 'I'll be the one up at 3am' is really suggesting his role is more important, merely pointing out that there are pros and cons to his role as well as yours. Him moaning about having to get up at 3am is no different to you moaning about how difficult it is looking after your kids.

Rayqueen · 21/08/2025 16:54

Nope I wouldn't my hubby also has a very stressful long hours job and when it's a day off he will join straight in looking after the kids, yes I will pop off do my own thing but if I hear them playing up I will be right there to help aswell, there always our kids and a partnership to me both sides do there best regardless of who does what

LittlleMy · 21/08/2025 17:01

VaseofViolets · 21/08/2025 15:58

You’re enjoying the fact his life’s being made more difficult and stressful by your kids misbehaving? Nice. That’s team player behaviour right there. Glad you’re not on mine 🙄

I think OP means that it’s good that DH gets a more realistic experience of what life as a SAHM mom is like not that she wants him to deliberately be upset.

TheignT · 21/08/2025 17:09

LittlleMy · 21/08/2025 17:01

I think OP means that it’s good that DH gets a more realistic experience of what life as a SAHM mom is like not that she wants him to deliberately be upset.

Show quote history

She said, "They are normally quite easy going" so it isn't really more realistic, a realistic day would be them being quite easy going.

I think her post is nasty.

SnailandWhal · 21/08/2025 17:22

Bloody hell all the kill joys on this thread! It's not deep or a reflection on the OPs marriage just a lighthearted post. And yes OP I'd be the same as you.

SaltAirAndTheRust · 21/08/2025 17:24

TheignT · 21/08/2025 17:09

She said, "They are normally quite easy going" so it isn't really more realistic, a realistic day would be them being quite easy going.

I think her post is nasty.

Show quote history

Of course it’s not. Her DH disparages what she does.

lkjhgfdsa · 21/08/2025 17:26

I took this as quite a light hearted chuckle from OP that her DH is finding out that being the sole parent in charge can be hard work too. I'm sure he wouldn't be stressed for long. It's just a moment. I don't think that getting mildly frustrated with his children and dog is going to make him unsafe to fly.

OP yanbu at all. I've been a SAHM and an employed out of the home mum. Both have their challenges. The hardest bit of being a sahm for me was how relentless it was, never getting away from it, then DH huffing around acting like I was on some kind of permanent holiday. His attitude always improved after a spell of having to be the one in charge.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your day off OP.

Emmz1510 · 21/08/2025 17:29

VaseofViolets · 21/08/2025 15:58

You’re enjoying the fact his life’s being made more difficult and stressful by your kids misbehaving? Nice. That’s team player behaviour right there. Glad you’re not on mine 🙄

Moaning about his 3am starts and going on about how his wife has it so much easier… also not exactly ‘team player’ behaviour

CyanDreamer · 21/08/2025 17:37

YABU

You have kids at nursery, husband to take over.
Who has the most free time between the 2?

Original poster
Houghers · 21/08/2025 17:44

Dh has a few days off.

OP posts:
Original poster
Houghers · 21/08/2025 17:44

CyanDreamer · 21/08/2025 17:37

YABU

You have kids at nursery, husband to take over.
Who has the most free time between the 2?

I also have a baby under 6 months

OP posts:
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