To be slightly loving hearing my kids misbehave?

[Houghers]

I’m a SAHM. Dh appreciates what I do in the home but every now I will get an annoying comment like “well I’m the one getting up at 3 am tomorrow” (dh is a pilot). These comments are rare but they can sting when I perceive them to mean DH’s role/routine is of more importance than mine.

Anyway, dh has today off. He has said I can have the day to myself. I spent the morning out with my sister and am now in my robe ready to get in the bath and just deep condition EVERYTHING ahead of a meal out with friends.

Our bedroom has a Juliet balcony. I can hear the kids being absolute terrors for dh in the garden. They are normally quite easy going but it’s one of those days. And the dog is randomly being a bit of a handful as well. I can hear dh is stressed in his voice. He went out to the garden with his laptop and a coffee and neither have been touched.

He just asked my son “what’s going on with you today, mate?” 😂

Im in bed. Secretly loving the kids giving him a hard time

Two of the kids go to school/nursery (part time for one). But I always love when he gets an insight into what my life looks like.

OP, good for bloody you! I bet he doesn’t do the night feeds, or help in the evenings

If they were ‘being equal’ they’d both be at home dealing with the kids instead it is something nice for her to have a day off from them to relax and do as she pleases. Sounds quite a treat actually!! I don’t understand how you can’t see he’s trying to do something nice for OP.

And yes I’m aware it’s a chat forum and never once said OP can’t post what she likes but like you say it’s a chat forum so I can equally post an opinion on something someone writes!

Oh no I am exactly the same!
We have two (4&5) and the 5 yo has non verbal ASD/adhd so is SUPER hard work.
Hubby is a specialist doctor and I think he often thinks he’s got the harder job then every so often he has a few days actually parenting and gets completely humbled. It’s quite nice actually, the entire narrative has changed over the last year from ‘you get to stay home’ to ‘Jesus I wouldn’t want to swap with you’

Doesn’t sound like a great marriage to be honest.

Please ladies, tell me I’m not the only one who went “Aw didums” in my head.
Pilots are “apparently” in amongst a sector of people who psychologists say can have a “God Complex”.
Now I am definitely not saying ops DH is in that group but I am saying he shouldn’t be placed on a pedestal because of his responsibilities.
Parenting children is one of the hardest jobs in the world, raising these tiny people to be fine upstanding citizens capable of taking their turns in helping the world turn, rather than setting fire to it.
Of course it’s fair he should have a turn of the bad as well as the good.
you enjoy your day OP, you deserve it.

See I love overhearing my kids plotting things they think must be super secret/not allowed, but i don't mind.

I overheard them the other day plotting in secret to get up together and eat their breakfast before i was up, and mix the cereals. They were whispering on the stairs for about 10 minutes.

I agree. Really nasty post from the op.

Lighten up

I don’t need to but thanks anyway

My thoughts too. You are VERY privilliged OP
You admit that the comments re getting up at 3am are rare.
But the 3am starts are real and contribute to you being a Sahm

He's parenting his own children, as she does every day. Absolutely no harm in the OP being him for a bit.

A lot of people on MN have no idea what that means

Tbh I have to land on this side, particularly as you say the kids are typically pretty easy. I’d have been standing in the bath telling them to rein it in on solidarity with DH.

oh please, we all parent.

At least you can have lazy days when you parent, no one must live an instagram life, and you can slob around with your little ones at home once in awhile.

As a passenger (travelling with my own kids!), I have no doubt that the pilot is having a much much harder job than you or I will ever have 😂

they're both parenting, but one has a full time job and the other one doesn't. Kids are not even at home full time.

What's the point of trying to score points exactly? It doesn't make a happy marriage. A bit of respect and appreciation on both sides would work so much better.

He does have an important job and probably earns very well too. If he messes up at work due to stress or tiredness, there would be a world of trouble.

He thought he would take his laptop into the garden and sit down ha ha ha
at least now he knows better

I’m a SAHM. Dh appreciates what I do in the home but every now I will get an annoying comment like “well I’m the one getting up at 3 am tomorrow” (dh is a pilot). These comments are rare but they can sting when I perceive them to mean DH’s role/routine is of more importance than mine.

There is no context regarding his remarks about a 3am start. Using it as an excuse not to load the dishwasher at 6pm because it's your job as a SAHM vs negotiating who is getting up to attend to the baby at midnight are two very different scenarios.

I understand why it's satisfying to hear him finding out that a whole day of parenting is exhausting and stressful when you think he sometimes sees your contribution to the family as less important but I think it would be better to talk to him about that rather than feel smug that he's struggling with something you have far more experience with.

Enjoy your evening out.

What?! So she’s getting up at 3am and piloting a plane? Unless she’s also an experienced pilot, there’s a LOT of harm
in “the OP being him for a bit”.

Maybe the OP can try getting a job and seeing how it feels when her DH gloats about her working?

The word you need is schadenfreude and you've described it perfectly in your thread title

to be slightly loving .....

describes exactly the mischievous pleasure you get from your kids playing up to their dad.

absolutely no harm done, you have to deal with it every day of the week, now it's his turn!

enjoy the secret smile.

Have a fantastic evening, I’m eye rolling at some of these comments! Good god it’s light hearted ,

They are his kids as well.

Being him? He’s getting up at 3am to go to work, (which also put Op in a privileged position that she can be a SAHM). OP spent the morning out with her sister and then at home in her robe whilst she got ready to get in the bath before going out for a meal with friends so it doesn’t sound like she’s ‘being him’

I agree with this.

Being a SAHM is hard, no doubt (yes I have been one). I’m sure being a pilot is quite fucking hard, too.

If OP suggested piloting was easy and low stress, then her DH might find it amusing and satisfying if she found landing a plane on a flight simulator rather challenging.