To be slightly loving hearing my kids misbehave?

[Houghers]

I’m a SAHM. Dh appreciates what I do in the home but every now I will get an annoying comment like “well I’m the one getting up at 3 am tomorrow” (dh is a pilot). These comments are rare but they can sting when I perceive them to mean DH’s role/routine is of more importance than mine.

Anyway, dh has today off. He has said I can have the day to myself. I spent the morning out with my sister and am now in my robe ready to get in the bath and just deep condition EVERYTHING ahead of a meal out with friends.

Our bedroom has a Juliet balcony. I can hear the kids being absolute terrors for dh in the garden. They are normally quite easy going but it’s one of those days. And the dog is randomly being a bit of a handful as well. I can hear dh is stressed in his voice. He went out to the garden with his laptop and a coffee and neither have been touched.

He just asked my son “what’s going on with you today, mate?” 😂

Im in bed. Secretly loving the kids giving him a hard time

Two of the kids go to school/nursery (part time for one). But I always love when he gets an insight into what my life looks like.

This! I have no doubt the day is very stressful for the OP and hubby acknowledged she needed a break, and rightly so, it is unfair of the OP to swim in joy of how the kids are worse with him than her. That is so unfair. I would have been stressed listening to it and telling the kids to cut it out. Dad wants to enjoy time with you and give mum a break. Let's work together and be nice!! Kids are obviously pushing boundaries, not too dissimilar to divorced parents, and mother should be putting the usual rules into place, not gloating. Especially as they are being more difficult for him, than they are with her!! Yes OP is YABU, simply because you are playing games

No, Magpie’s example is much worse!

What a hero

Goodness I miss old MN!

No, but typically people in loving relationships don’t rejoice in each other’s misfortune. That’s a bit fucked up.

You would be happy if he was revelling in you struggling to fly a plane? Grow up!

Reverse it

and picture dad laughing at high-pressure job mum who is having a nightmare with her kids when she's looking after them on her day off... while dad is having a life of leisure.

See how the posters thinking it's hilarious here would turn.

I can hear a small child in her back garden, she has repeated the same words 50 times. I don't miss those days.
Enjoy your rest.

No one has said he’s a hero

They have implied it! You in particular. Helping OP out by watching his children

Do you know the definition of a hero because I have certainly not implied he is a hero. I’d also love for you to highlight where I have said he’s helping OP out by watching his children? He has a day off work tells OP he will spend time with the kids so she can do whatever she wants with the day which is a nice thing to do, not heroic just a nice thing to do. He could quite easily be home and let OP do everything and have a relaxing day himself but instead he wants his wife to have a nice relaxing day. Sounds lovely!!

You have constantly said that he’s doing the OP a favour, he’s being kind, he doesn’t need to look after the kids on his day off, he could spend the day doing what he wants…

Your expectations are terribly low

I’m not projecting at all, merely pointing out how little respect women get for domestic work whilst men are always doing the important jobs. Also he doesn’t deserve a medal for looking after his own kids. OP also ‘just looks after’ her own kids… all the time….

no one ever said that was the case - either that his job was more important or that he is waited on
stop making up shit and just read the facts

Silly comparison.
She's not a pilot but he is a father.

Jesus everyone is going a bit hard here, I'm exactly the same, I think it's easy to imagine sah parenting as one long picnic filled with fun crafts, chilling with a tea whilst they play, popping out whenever you want and generally "being off". I absolutely love feeling appreciated and sometimes the kids being t*ats is exactly what's required. Your husband even taking a laptop with him whilst caring for 2 kids that age does highlight he assumes its fairly laid back. Well done kids! Enjoy your bath
Ps - I'm sure you're a lovely partnership, great wife and lovely mum, anyone saying this reflects on the state of your marriage is a bit mad, it's fine to want your partner to appreciate the challenging bits of your day unfiltered. It doesn't mean you secretly hate them.

No I believe I said ‘no it’s not a massive favour’ so I haven’t constantly said he’s doing OP a favour. I haven’t said he doesn’t need to look after his kids but he doesn’t need to stay home with them and offer OP the chance of a nice relaxing day, they could both be home looking after the kids… so yes that’s a nice thing to do for someone giving them a day of freedom to do what they like.
My expectations are not low in the slightest I can just appreciate a nice gesture when I see one. However I think your reading comprehension is terribly low. Either read and understand what someone is saying or just don’t bother because you’re adding bits in, assuming etc and making up what’s been said to fit with what you want to be wrote down

Im a bit surprised at how many people seem to be blown away by the "pilot" bit. Yes of course it's complex to learn and high level.of responsibility but like any job, you get used to it and it becomes routine. You need clear focus for short burst of time and quite a lot of downtime when you're cruising or in a long haul destination. It's "glamorous" and revered and well paid. I reckon being down a mine is harder and more continuously stressful and dangerous. The OP is probably mildly gratified that her DH is getting an insight into her typical day except that it's a touch harder because he doesn't know all the little trips and triggers ..the fact that he thought he'd get a hot coffee and some browsing by itself is pretty telling in his idea of the OPs day. She had a little chuckle, that's all.

Ridiculous. I’ve got four kids and I’ve been a sahm; I know how relentless it is. It was still easier than my teaching job.

Possible that teaching and flying a plane are a bit different. Rather quieter in the cockpit!

Tell me you've never spent a day in charge of small children without telling me you've never spent a day in charge of small children.

The husband here has a tool called autopilot he can switch on to literally do his job for him and thought he could combine coffee, laptop time, and minding his children, bless his cotton socks... He even asked one of them what was up with him that day, implying he believes this isn't the child's normal behaviour or the behaviour of children in general.

The OP is having a well deserved moment of schadenfreude. I hope she'll be allowed many more days off so her H can start appreciating her contribution and her frustrations a heck of a lot more.

The bottom line here is that dealing with children all day every day on a daily basis, whether your own or others', is a far harder job than most people who are not sahps believe it to be.

The consolation of dealing with children and getting paid to do so is that you get paid. The frustration there is that you don't get paid anywhere even close to what you deserve.

100% this.

The man needs to spend a lot more time in sole charge of his own children and hopefully he'll eat some humble pie as a result.

He himself has told the OP that his job was more demanding than hers, with the implication that hers commanded less respect.

I bet she's seen plenty of the children at 3 am while he slept soundly.

Exactly this.

For all the bleeding hearts who think the OP shouldn't be gloating, this is why she is. He devalues her contribution when her work is just as hard and just as important to society.

And hopefully today he had a teeny glimpse of that.