Page 7 | To think he was slightly rude on our date?

LittlleMy · 21/08/2025 15:23

PoshDuckQuarkQuark · 21/08/2025 12:16

If someone said that I'd assume it meant that the food was really good.

Show quote history

Really?! Sounds like a rude CF to me especially with him smirking after she replied why wouldn’t she finish it all when it’s her dinner 🙄

Someone2025 · 21/08/2025 15:26

EastEndQueen · 21/08/2025 15:10

I’d be out of that date like a shot. It’s RUDE and displays horrible underlying assumptions about women and appetite and how grateful the world is for his ‘insight’

I was furious at a pub quiz in a central London on Monday when the man doing the quiz strolled over to our table, mic in hand and said ‘Look at all that food! Have you been fasting for a week to eat it?’. Humiliating and unnecessary (it was one main course per person from the pub menu, not that it matters…)

I’d be out of that date like a shot

That would be a bit of an over reaction to say the least, if you are extremely sensitive about your weight then you also need to take some responsibility for that

HG1984 · 21/08/2025 15:29

I wouldn’t say this is a red flag on its own - maybe it was just an awkward comment. Dates are nerve racking.

How has he treated you before this?

I would say that it has bothered you and speak.

People just put everything down to ‘red flags’ nowadays and write people off without talking things through.

i could be wrong but there’s a possibility it was a slip up.

KookySnail · 21/08/2025 15:29

Festivespirit85 · 21/08/2025 14:58

Were you there? No, so you can't say it wasn't that way! The OP was on her date and that's how she described it!
It's not acceptable to comment on how much food someone has or hasn't eaten.

Show quote history

You weren’t there either, and the OP obviously has insecurities regarding her size which can project into situations like this, and make people read into things which aren’t there.

OP I’ve had the same remarks many a time and I’m a size 6-8 but a big/fast eater. He could possibly have said that to fill silence, and was been a bit tactless at worst.
Take yourself away from this situation and access how he has previously acted generally. Has he shown signs before of being spiteful, snide or at all unkind? Passive agressive? If not, let this one go but keep observing.

Poopeepoopee · 21/08/2025 15:30

Idontjetwashthefucker · 21/08/2025 15:23

Why are people insinuating op had finished first, it doesn't say that in her post, in fact it says the opposite

Show quote history

Ah, I missed that bit about him finishing first. In that case, he's a cheeky cunt.

I don't know what it is about men and food. My ex husband used to ram food into his mouth so quickly that you could hear the metal prangs of the fork pinging against his teeth.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 21/08/2025 15:47

That would be it for me. I hate people commenting on what I do or don't eat. It's vulgar even to notice.

BuildbyNumbere · 21/08/2025 15:50

CoriolanusSnow · 21/08/2025 12:01

There wouldn’t be another date if it was me he’d said that to. If DH catches me eating, he’ll say, ‘ooh what have you got you little piggy.’
Men can be real arseholes.

So no to another date … but you allow DH to say that??? Bit of a contradiction.

Beautifulhaiku · 21/08/2025 15:52

CoriolanusSnow · 21/08/2025 12:01

There wouldn’t be another date if it was me he’d said that to. If DH catches me eating, he’ll say, ‘ooh what have you got you little piggy.’
Men can be real arseholes.

Arseholes can be real arseholes. Don’t give them the excuse of being a man. Plenty of men are able to not comment on their partner’s eating fairly easily.

BuildbyNumbere · 21/08/2025 15:54

I wouldn’t bother with him again, you are going to feel awkward eating around him now!

Chairings · 21/08/2025 15:55

He was rude and definitely trying to put you down.
I wouldn't give him a second chance.
I wouldn't mention why, just that you aren't interested.
Never give them information that will help them hide the pricks they are.

StrawberrySquash · 21/08/2025 15:56

Poopeepoopee · 21/08/2025 15:30

Ah, I missed that bit about him finishing first. In that case, he's a cheeky cunt.

I don't know what it is about men and food. My ex husband used to ram food into his mouth so quickly that you could hear the metal prangs of the fork pinging against his teeth.

Show quote history

So it's fine to comment on how he eats, but not on how aOP does? I think we are making assumptions too early. Sometimes you comment on something and it doesn't have a great judgemental meaning behind it.

Nosdacariad · 21/08/2025 15:57

Casseroledarling · 21/08/2025 11:57

Weirdest date ever. Been seeing a man for a little while and have been on three dates, it was going well and he seems nice. Anyway, third date yesterday and we went for a meal in a fancy- ish pub. I had grilled chicken, potatoes and veg and finished my whole dinner, as normal. Didn’t finish it overly quick or before him, just ate it all.

Anyway, my date turns to me and says “Jesus you’ve polished that off haven’t you?”. I looked at him confused and said well yes, it’s my dinner and he just laughed and smirked. I changed the subject but felt a bit weird after. Was he making a jibe at me? I am a size 14, and guess curvy and slightly sensitive. I’ve been off with him today and don’t know if I’m being unreasonable.

Run! Run for the hills!

Nookfoot · 21/08/2025 15:59

I think it depends entirely on how it was delivered and your response depends on your relationship with your appetite.

My gran would have said something like that meaning it as a compliment, loving to see a healthy appetite. If someone said that to me I'd have said something like "oh yes, I do love my food", without looking for an insult even if that was what was intended.

DelilahMy · 21/08/2025 16:01

nomas · 21/08/2025 12:54

Why would he be happy she enjoyed it? It's not like he cooked it. Or have you assumed he paid for OP?

Show quote history

Not at all. Have you never thought that it's nice to see someone has really enjoyed their meal?

MamaToABeautifulBoy · 21/08/2025 16:03

Yeah, he’s a dick.

At least you can get out early doors.

LizzieW1969 · 21/08/2025 16:06

I think, regardless of the intention, whether it was a put down or a harmless comment (how can we know as we weren’t there?), it was rude and tactless. I certainly wouldn’t like it.

It’s up to the OP whether she calls him out on it or not, or whether she just dumps him. She says it gave her the ick, so that suggests that dumping him is the best thing to do in her situation.

Nookfoot · 21/08/2025 16:07

Is a surprise to me that so many would be insulted that someone they were sharing a meal with might comment on the fact that you appeared to have enjoyed it.

Surely that has much more to do with women's relationship with food and their weight than it does with any actually intended insulted?

Sandalsandbreadsticks · 21/08/2025 16:07

"Jesus you’ve polished that off haven’t you?”

It's not a positive comment by any stretch. I feel like some people are really bad at reading signals to try and make that into something positive or even neutral.

There's a world of difference between saying 'oh wow glad you enjoyed that' and what he said.

I don't think it means anything to say he is ok with your weight if he is still there on the third date. Some men deliberately target women who they think they can use their insecurities to manipulate them. Some men think larger women should be grateful for any attention they get and so they target them for that reason. And some men are just dickheads who want to insult you and call you too sensitive for caring.

Letitgoooletitgooo · 21/08/2025 16:09

next time do this
tell him you thought he was impressed last time by his comment & wanted to impress him more
it sounds judgemental to me
but maybe was just said for something to say ?!

SeedyM · 21/08/2025 16:10

Probably something they just say in his family. It’s not something I’d finish a relationship because of, but maybe just keep a watch out to see if it’s the thin end of the wedge.

Farageisacupidstunt · 21/08/2025 16:12

That does not bode well. Trust your gut, literally, ie. eat the food, fuck him off.

JohnTheRevelator · 21/08/2025 16:13

Oh Jesus Christ. He's one of these men who likes to make women who enjoy their food feel greedy and 'unfeminine'. I've met a few of these over the years. I mean,we all know,that's it only men who who are allowed to have any interest in food?!

ThatCyanCat · 21/08/2025 16:15

Nookfoot · 21/08/2025 16:07

Is a surprise to me that so many would be insulted that someone they were sharing a meal with might comment on the fact that you appeared to have enjoyed it.

Surely that has much more to do with women's relationship with food and their weight than it does with any actually intended insulted?

No. "Jesus you’ve polished that off haven’t you?” followed by a smirk isn't a neutral or benevolent statement, it's designed to do exactly what it did: make OP uncomfortable and spoil her enjoyment by implying she's been greedy. It's shitty negging and it shouldn't be rewarded.

chatgptsbestmate · 21/08/2025 16:16

Casseroledarling · 21/08/2025 13:03

Thank you all. Have felt weird about it today but didn’t want to think I was being sensitive. I’ve caught the ick now anyway and dont think it can be undone unfortunately.

Me too. Revolting wankstain. Get rid

Teanbiscuits33 · 21/08/2025 16:17

I’d give him the benefit of the doubt for now, just in case it was a clumsy attempt to make you laugh or fill a silence, BUT I’d definitely have his card marked and be looking for whether or not it was part of a pattern of nasty jibes, both about weight/eating or more broadly. It would definitely have my senses tinging for potential abuse in the future. If you notice he does it as part of a pattern, 100% dump him.