hiya looking for some advice
I’m 29 with an 8 year old daughter we have a cat called Bella we love her very much and she’s 5 but she isn’t house trained for the 5 years that iv had her she’s always been a lovely affectionate cat but the issue is the whole 5 years id had her she’s always just done her own thing iv bought her loads of scratching posts and she never ever uses them instead she scratching the corner of the carpets scratches the couch beds etc she also will never use the little tray I even at one point had 2 litter trays for her and she still wouldn’t use them
this has caused problems in all my relationships as when iv lived with partners theyv got majorly pissed off because the cats scratched furniture carpets and did the toilet on the floor iv tried everything making sure the litter tray is regularly clean so the cat will use it iv tried using scratching post sprays to entice her to use the scratching post iv used cat nip but she still wouldn’t use the scratching post
iv recently just move in with my patter of 9 months he’s not a cat person he’s only ever had 1 dog at the start he told me he would give the cat a try as he knows it’s my pet so wanted to be considerate to me but since wev moved in the cats just doing the same thing scratching everything not using her scratching post peeing and shitting on the floor now of course when she deos this I’ll clean it up straight away but my partner it’s getting majorly pissed off with it and it’s causing us to argue and he’s said the cat needs to go as he can’t deal with it anymore I do get where he’s coming from if it was the other way about I’d maybey feel the same
now I do beileve a cats for life and hurts me to let her go but the bigger problem I have is my 8 year old she’s absolutely loves the cat she has a strong bond with her and I know it will break her heart letting the cat go and I don’t want to upset her
I feel I’m stuck because my partners saying she needs to go as soon as and family are saying I should persevere and train her but she’s 5 she’s past the point of training plus iv tried to train her for years but she’s to stubborn and just deos her own thing and I’m just dreading upsetting my child but I know if I keep her it will cause problems with me and my partner I just don’t know what to do and I feel my family will give me stick for getting rid of her but this is a problem iv had with my cat for years even when I was single living on my own she would do it I tolerated because I love her but I know an animal shouldn’t do that in a house I did ask my mum if she would take her as she has cats but she’s not willing to and I feel it’s just out of stubborness
am I right for agreeing to rehome her or am I horrible to do that to my child