Need serious advice on animal

[EmmaL96]

hiya looking for some advice

I’m 29 with an 8 year old daughter we have a cat called Bella we love her very much and she’s 5 but she isn’t house trained for the 5 years that iv had her she’s always been a lovely affectionate cat but the issue is the whole 5 years id had her she’s always just done her own thing iv bought her loads of scratching posts and she never ever uses them instead she scratching the corner of the carpets scratches the couch beds etc she also will never use the little tray I even at one point had 2 litter trays for her and she still wouldn’t use them

this has caused problems in all my relationships as when iv lived with partners theyv got majorly pissed off because the cats scratched furniture carpets and did the toilet on the floor iv tried everything making sure the litter tray is regularly clean so the cat will use it iv tried using scratching post sprays to entice her to use the scratching post iv used cat nip but she still wouldn’t use the scratching post

iv recently just move in with my patter of 9 months he’s not a cat person he’s only ever had 1 dog at the start he told me he would give the cat a try as he knows it’s my pet so wanted to be considerate to me but since wev moved in the cats just doing the same thing scratching everything not using her scratching post peeing and shitting on the floor now of course when she deos this I’ll clean it up straight away but my partner it’s getting majorly pissed off with it and it’s causing us to argue and he’s said the cat needs to go as he can’t deal with it anymore I do get where he’s coming from if it was the other way about I’d maybey feel the same

now I do beileve a cats for life and hurts me to let her go but the bigger problem I have is my 8 year old she’s absolutely loves the cat she has a strong bond with her and I know it will break her heart letting the cat go and I don’t want to upset her

I feel I’m stuck because my partners saying she needs to go as soon as and family are saying I should persevere and train her but she’s 5 she’s past the point of training plus iv tried to train her for years but she’s to stubborn and just deos her own thing and I’m just dreading upsetting my child but I know if I keep her it will cause problems with me and my partner I just don’t know what to do and I feel my family will give me stick for getting rid of her but this is a problem iv had with my cat for years even when I was single living on my own she would do it I tolerated because I love her but I know an animal shouldn’t do that in a house I did ask my mum if she would take her as she has cats but she’s not willing to and I feel it’s just out of stubborness

am I right for agreeing to rehome her or am I horrible to do that to my child

Very probably. I'm holding back from saying what I think of this kind of cat ownership. I don't want to be banned.

To add; well done for loving your cat and cleaning up after it for all those years. I think that's a loving thing to do for your daughter too.

Id get a vet to check her.
If shes incontinent she will struggle to rehome. You could also look at nappies.
I wouldnt abandon this cat or break my daughters heart.
If DP is worth anything he will understand

Sorry if you've already tried these suggestions or if someone has already posted them (I haven't read the whole thread)
Have you had her since she was a kitten ?
Have you had her vet checked & did the vet have any suggestions?
Is she 100% indoor cat and if so has she always been 100% indoor ?
Is her litter tray somewhere quiet with no through traffic or anywhere noisy ?
Is her tray away from her food & water ?
Is her tray open or closed ? Try both
Have you tried different types of litter ? Keep away from scented litters. Try smaller granules as she may not like large litter as it can be uncomfortable of her paws.
Try wood pellets/paper pellets/silica/tofu/clumping & non clumping. There are lots of different types and it is unfortunately going to cost but one will suit her.
Buy a litter attract spray.
Next time she poo's put it in her litter tray and leave it there for a while.
Don't use a bleach type spray to clean up after her as ammonia will encourage her to use the same place.
If she is using the same places to go, try to put something there (just temporarily) like some tin foil spread out, books or a cushions - just so she can't use that place again.
It's unusual for a Cat to not want to use a tray as most cats like to dig & bury when they go to the toilet.
I don't know your budget but there are cat behaviourists that can help. Please speak with your vet if you haven't already.
If you are thinking of rehoming her it's very unlikely she will find another home with this issue and will probably be pts.

The scratching issue is easier to fix.
If she is using the same places then fix or place tin foil there. Most cats don't like tin foil and won't go near it. You can also buy a roll of carpet protector from Tool Station/Screw fix etc. It's the stuff decorators put down when painting to protect your carpets. It's basically a roll of clear plastic and you can cut it and stick it (temporarily) where she is scratching.
She needs to learn it's unacceptable so you need a firm "her name" NO and pick her up and move her away from the object. Please don't punish her or use water spray/loud noise/throw things.

Also just to add if she is 100% indoor is she getting enough stimulation? Through play, food enrichment etc.
Hope this helps.

Well I beg to differ. How would you feel if someone sprayed you all the time and you had no idea why?
You do not punish animals you find out what's wrong and find other ways to address the issue. It's abuse pure and simple. Do you spray your toddlers in the face?
If a cat is soiling in the house they already have a problem. Spraying them does not solve the issue. I've fostered and had cats for 50 years and have never once had to punish an animal to solve a problem.