To ban DP from “trying” my takeaway leftovers?

[Cassy5]

DP and I get a takeaway every few weeks. We alternate paying for these. We each order a main, a rice/chips/naan and some kind of side.

He doesn’t like foods touching so we tend to share the sides but not the mains or carbs. He is twice my size and eats all of his (then complains of being too full); I usually eat half mine and save the rest for a lazy lunch the next day.

Whenever he wants to “taste” mine later, he picks out the meat and leaves the veg, sauce and rice. This makes for a far less appealing lunch.

AIBU to tell him he eats all of it like a grown up or to keep off?

Lighthearted, but also not at all, because I was looking forward to my lunch and he’s ruined it 😂

I wouldn’t say that was lighthearted. That’s really bad behaviour, is he always this selfish?

Surely if he doesn’t want to share mains, he just leaves yours alone? He can also choose to save some for lunch. I’d be irritated if I saved something for lunch and someone ate one of the key ingredients and left me with veg & sauce. To be honest I’d be irritated if someone ate what I’d organised for my lunch anyway 😂

Tell him to get his own leftovers, either eat less and save some or order more for the next day! If my DH stole my leftovers I’d be fuming 😂

Probably a stupid question but what's the reaction to, 'Can you not do that, please?'

There is no crime greater, in my book, than ruining the looked forward to lunch of another person.

lighthearted my arse. LTB.

This isn't light hearted, he shouldn't be eating your food, full stop. If you've got a new dish, he tries the sauce on the rice, only, he knows what chicken/lamb etc tastes like.

Selfish

The thing is I really wouldn’t mind if he ate a few bites, or half, or all of it. I resent him picking out the meat! Then I have to either have a sub-standard lunch or throw away the rest which I don’t like as I don’t like food waste.

So essentially he just stole your lunch? That is really selfish.

I can’t believe you’ve used such a passive aggressive way of accusing someone of being passive! It’s either really annoying or genius. I can’t decide which.

I would fork the back of his hand 😂 i hate greed and that is what it is. He is just being greedy, when we get a takeaway Dh likes a starter but will save pakora or spring rolls, I wouldn't dream of eating them the next day.

Goodness, I wasn't aware I was doing that. I was thinking what I might say to my partner in similar circumstances. Wish I was a genius🤔.

I have done that before when he’s “trying” when I’m eating 😂

Usually I leave the leftovers in the fridge though and he has a late snack from it.

I genuinely wouldn’t care if he ate the lot, it’s the cherry-picking that gets me.

I’ve told him to leave certain leftovers alone before and he’s perfectly happy to.

I would be raging i can imagine your dissapointment.

If you really don't begrudge him the amount of actual food, what does it matter which parts he wants? And why is it substandard without the meat? If you think he should only have sauce /veg/ rice, what's wrong with you eating that for lunch?

I was going to say if you're leaving them, then it's fair game but you want them next day for lunch - so no, he should leave them alone and he's just being greedy. Tell him to order more if he's still hungry but he's to get his paws off yours!

I wouldn’t be ok with my DH eating any of my leftovers unless I specifically said he could. I am not one for leftovers as I don’t love reheated takeaway but DH knows this. He’ll still always check before he eats any of it.

Your DP eating the ‘best bits’ or half or all of it is unacceptable to me unless he’s asked or you’ve said it’s fair game.

Why is it substandard without the meat? I'm guessing because that way you're just left with a tub of sauce with maybe a few pieces of onion left in if you're lucky 😁 it's taking all the fun out and leaving you with a tub of sadness 😁

Well that’s why I’m asking if I’m being unreasonable! I still have 75% of it, just not the meat. To me, though, the meat is an integral part of it. If I wanted a vegetarian dish I’d have ordered one.

Wtaf!

You aren't married, no joint account (from the sounds of it) you take it in terms to pay for takeaway. He's stealing from you! Literally!

I assume he eats more food generally? Do you pay equally for food shops too? Why?

I would be fuming about this and having a word about fairness and him being a CF and taking more then his fair share. If he acuses you of pettiness over something so tiny, then he obviously won't mind leaving YOUR food alone if it's such an insignificant issue right?

Practical steps in the meantime...freeze the food and reheat it for lunch.

Exactly - vegetarian dishes are fine but most meat-based curries etc don’t have that much veg in.

You need to say exactly that to him.

Buy a big lockable safe box for the fridge.

You know when someone loves you is when they share their last bit of food. Op how deep is your love?