To ban DP from “trying” my takeaway leftovers?

[Cassy5]

DP and I get a takeaway every few weeks. We alternate paying for these. We each order a main, a rice/chips/naan and some kind of side.

He doesn’t like foods touching so we tend to share the sides but not the mains or carbs. He is twice my size and eats all of his (then complains of being too full); I usually eat half mine and save the rest for a lazy lunch the next day.

Whenever he wants to “taste” mine later, he picks out the meat and leaves the veg, sauce and rice. This makes for a far less appealing lunch.

AIBU to tell him he eats all of it like a grown up or to keep off?

Lighthearted, but also not at all, because I was looking forward to my lunch and he’s ruined it 😂

Hmmmm let me think …. What difference does meat make to a curry? Oh of course absolutely no difference at all! Ffs.

Also, OP needs the protein to keep her feeling full after lunch. Sauce n veg doesn’t cut it.

OP I would be the same as you - I’d be marking my leftovers with a post it note threatening a slow and painful death if he pinches anything! Greedy sod.

If that's their preference. We're always happy to give each other a taste- and by that I mean a tablespoon, not all the meat- wherever we're eating. I wouldn't order a whole portion of something I've never tasted because I might not like it and then it's a waste.

This isn’t lighthearted, he’s a greedy, selfish prick, no?

But in this case, its not a spoonful and its taken without asking

I also really look forward to food i know I've got. So psychologically opening the fridge and seeing my food gone or mostly snarfed, I'd be furious.
Ok maybe a strong reaction but food is my trigger and I own that!

Have you tried serving it all up for dinner, carefully forking the meat out of his, and handing it over? And when he says huh?? You say that’s what you leave me for lunch from mine when you pick out all the meat? Is there a problem? I’ll enjoy ‘tasting’ it later l, I think tasting is the word you use for eating all the meat out of it?

tjen he can have his meat back, but I think that would make your point.

Not that it's the main point at all, but I'd stop referring to it as 'leftovers'.

That word brings with it a common understanding of 'inferior, surplus to requirements, needs using up, halfway to the bin' etc.

I'd always refer to it as 'tomorrow's lunch' - and label the tub clearly with 'Kate's lunch for Tuesday'.

Not that I'm excusing his poor behaviour in any way; but if he still steals the best bits of your food when you've clearly spelled it out that it isn't an abandoned, not-really-wanted free-for-all, but actually a deliberately portioned-off and carefully saved, looked-forward-to meal allocated for a specific time, he's unequivocally told you what he thinks of you.

I also don't get how he objects to different foods touching, but he will merrily pick bits out of mixed up food?!

i went to boarding school, then a shared house, then the Army. I know exactly what you mean.

If you look forward to something and some greedy arse has picked out all the best bits it is deflating. (see also looking forward to receiving post mail)

Yes, exactly, that's why in the same situation, I'd say, you can have a taste, I will put a tablespoon of mixed veg/meat in a ramekin for you.

Well if it was planned for your lunch then yes it’s selfish my dh wouldn’t even consider eating leftovers without checking he could and they wasn’t wanted

What a greedy selfish man. YANBU.

Order more food. The he can have a separate dish for lunch the next day.

Honestly I don't know if I'm just dramatic but I think I would be pretty pissed at my husband if he ate all the leftover meat and just left the sauce - who does that?! Especially if I was looking forward to it and he'd eaten all of his the day before.
We usually share the leftover the next day.

do you honestly think it would stop him snacking on the rest?

This reminds me of a thread from ages ago, where OP's housemate would actually steal her meals whilst she was still cooking them.

She'd be standing there in front of the hob, stirring the curry/stew or whatever in the pan, and the other woman would do the whole "Ooh, that smells delicious!", declare that she was going to "just have a little taste" (which predictably turned into repeated 'just little tastes') and then proceed to eat ALL of the meat and the best chunks out of it, before OP had even had any chance to serve up or eat her own meal.

Some people have deliberate food theft down to a fine art and will use minimising language to make out that it's no big deal. None of them actually care at all about the person who will then be forced to go hungry or get (and also pay again for) something plain, dull and uninspiring as a direct result.

I would just tell him "can you not eat all the meat out of the curry please" surely he would listen and you don't have to actually put a post it note down!

If he doesn’t like foods touching why is he happy to mill through your food taking the bits he likes best? I think what he doesn’t like is YOU touching HIS food.

Its polite some people just have to label everything and get high handed your response is just being polite. How exhausting it must be to find fault everywhere and label everyone.

Re the passive aggressive labelling person not the op.

If you live together why do you make lunch separately? This seems weird to me. Don't you just share out what's left and add something else on the side?

I think you need to tell him to leave all of your leftovers every time.

And when he complains about being full after finishing his, you say, "Serves you right for not saving any to have as a snack later."

I don't know, but if he was specifically told that that was his lot I'd hope that he wouldn't ignore OP and go and eat her lunch? OP implies that he's thoughtless and greedy rather than actively unkind but maybe he is? All I'm saying is I'd let him taste it but a taste and all the remaining meat are not the same thing.

Selfish and greedy. Tell him he is not to touch your leftovers full stop.

This 100%. See how HE likes it, the greedy fucker.

Put the leftovers in the freezer immediately so he can't pick at it, then defrost for lunch. Or just tell him not to do it