To have been half naked in front of other children?

[BrieEncounter]

I had an encounter yesterday that has made me question myself and whether what I did was inappropriate.

I regularly swim at my local health club and often go during my lunchtimes. With summer holidays there are lots of children there which is, of course, absolutely fine.

The club has separate changing areas: a large open room to one side for families with children (with baby change etc), a large female only changing area that also has at the back a section for ‘adults only’..and then the same for men’s.

I got changed in my usual spot which is in the female changing rooms, but not in the ‘adult only’ section.

When I returned from swimming there were a couple of women also in this area wrangling their children. The kids were all boys but very young: I’d say eldest was 8ish so not old enough to go into the men’s rooms
alone.

I didn’t think much of it and started to get changed after a shower. I’d got my shorts on under my towel and was putting my bra on. I dropped the towel but then realised the straps had loosened so I took it off, adjusted the straps and put it back on again. I had my bra off for maybe 30 seconds whilst doing this.

As I was putting my top on, one of the women started shouting at me and accusing me of flashing her children. That if I was going to be naked I should move to the ‘adults only’ section. I didn’t really know how to respond and pointed out this was a changing room and equally, she could have gone to the family room. She said the room was too small for her and her friend together and I was completely inappropriate.

She then rushed the kids out and said she’d be speaking to the manager on her way out.

There was no one else in this part of the changing rooms but several women (in various states of undress) popped their heads around the corner to see what the fuss was about. I was mortified so just got dressed and packed up as fast as I could.

When I left, I mentioned what had happened to the receptionist who said that someone had made a complaint about inappropriateness with young children in the changing room! She said they had flagged it to the manager who would be in tomorrow (now today) who will review it.

Im due to go at lunchtime and can’t quite believe it.

Was it unreasonable to have been (momentarily) topless in front of young children?

The hair dryer woman doesn’t sound “confident” so much as inappropriate. There’s a difference between being naked in the women’s changing room and purposely propping your leg to make your labia visible for an extended period of time. That would have made me feel as though she was possibly getting off on exposing herself to others.

I presume this lady has never taken her kids on a beach abroad then

I'm using 'strip off' as shorthand, which I can do if I want – thanks.

Otherwise, it seems as if you are quoting the wrong person.

but I might have thought it odd someone being comfortable being topless with an 8 year old boy gawping.

I didn't say this.

is the purpose of the adult only section? (am I missing something?)

I didn't say this either.

What I did say was that I personally wouldn't have, but that's it's highly individual opinion.

Yeah, ten-year-old boys do not, repeat, NOT belong in women’s changing rooms. My daughter is ten and starting to go through puberty, and the thought of a boy her same age in a changing room with her is just wrong.

That is a good result. I was going to say at my Better club the policy says 8 and over need to go either to family or their own sex changing room, so she shot herself in the foot

I saw a woman breast feeding her child as she walked through town today, I wonder how this would have landed with the ridiculous swimming pool woman?! My only concern with this lady was that it looked a bit tricky to navigate our uneven paving slabs, her shopping, and her other child, to be honest! We are all naked under our clothes, it shouldn't be taboo.

My toddler son once started a very loud conversation with his dad in the men’s changing room about how he has a pee-pee but ‘mamma don’t got a pee-pee’. The other men must have been cracking up! Dread to think what he’d have been saying if I’d had him with me in the ladies.

No... I was quoting someone else within the same post.

It's allowed 👍

@LittleBitofBread She's given you a diagram - but all she had to do was turn her back to the children.

I don't think it's great, i hope nothing comes of it because you sound naive.. But i hope it's a lesson for you.

YANBU. You were a female getting changed in the female changing rooms, doesn’t matter if there’s an adults vs families section as presumably the kids could be just as likely to accidentally see a bit of someone’s boobs or even genitalia (shock horror! people have to take pants off to change too and towels can slip) from the other Mums getting changed with their kids.

The only reason she could have had to complain would be if the families section was packed and you were taking space from other families when you could have gone elsewhere to the adults. Otherwise she is being absolutely ridiculous. Poor kids - I bet their mums puritanical fuss over nudity was way more embarrassing than catching a brief glimpse of boobs 🤣

Why? In a changing room for women, where women could quite reasonably be expected to be seen at least partially undressed (in her case for about 30 seconds)?
But I meant a diagram explaining your thought/logic process, because it's got me baffled.

Can you expand? Naive how? Lesson about what?

YABU. In my opinion the Adult Only section is for adults who don’t want to put up with kids around them! If they wanted privacy and no naked bodies around them they should have gone into the changing room.

I don't understand your point. You say OP should have gone to the adult only section to ensure no kids around.
But OP is not bothered by the kids, the person who bought the kids in thought OP was in the wrong by undressing in front of her children.
Then you say they should have gone to the changing room - they being the Mum with the children, which means you think OP was NBU

This woman is nuts.
If you can't get undressed in a changing room where can you?
She needs to take her kids into a cubicle if she is that delicate.

Naive to think it's ok to expose breasts, even accidentally.. To minors.

Especially boys.

Lesson not to do it again. And just be more careful

Changing rooms exist for the purpose of taking your clothes off and putting other clothes on!

Are you suggesting she is naive to have used a changing room for its intended purpose?

At my DL I once saw a tiny little elderly lady who was stark naked, standing chatting to a much younger (fully clad) woman.

I went to the loo and when I returned she was still standing there chatting in the altogether. Weird!

However she was brown all over so I concluded that she must be a nudist making some sort of point.

It was well over a year ago and I’ve not seen any remotely similar behaviour since.

In a changing room, where people can and should reasonably expect others to be at least partially unclothed at least some of the time?
And specifically a woman, in a women's changing room?

Aye right you are.

I can't think of many places where it's more normal or unsinister for a bit of someone's body to be visible.

What do you think about the gym's response?

Op has already said that the gym manager has told her that he thinks it's ludicrous from someone to complain that they saw op unclothed in a changing room, since they are literally designed for changing in. She didn't take her top off in Sainsbury's...

Someone going ape at you doesn't mean they are in the right

I think I'm just attracted to responding to extremely long posts.

And not reading them.

When I was naked cold water swimming earlier today, a woman complained.

But it was in a fountain in our local park.

Why is that so weird?
Why did you assume she was making a point?

I'm pretty certain that my 2 year old DD would point and squeal, "boobies!" if she saw a topless woman in the changing rooms.

She's obsessed with mine.

I think she has overreacted but at the same time I wouldn’t get changed around children.

There is a huge amount of small cubicles at our pool that there no reason to get changed in the open area.