To have been half naked in front of other children?

[BrieEncounter]

I had an encounter yesterday that has made me question myself and whether what I did was inappropriate.

I regularly swim at my local health club and often go during my lunchtimes. With summer holidays there are lots of children there which is, of course, absolutely fine.

The club has separate changing areas: a large open room to one side for families with children (with baby change etc), a large female only changing area that also has at the back a section for ‘adults only’..and then the same for men’s.

I got changed in my usual spot which is in the female changing rooms, but not in the ‘adult only’ section.

When I returned from swimming there were a couple of women also in this area wrangling their children. The kids were all boys but very young: I’d say eldest was 8ish so not old enough to go into the men’s rooms
alone.

I didn’t think much of it and started to get changed after a shower. I’d got my shorts on under my towel and was putting my bra on. I dropped the towel but then realised the straps had loosened so I took it off, adjusted the straps and put it back on again. I had my bra off for maybe 30 seconds whilst doing this.

As I was putting my top on, one of the women started shouting at me and accusing me of flashing her children. That if I was going to be naked I should move to the ‘adults only’ section. I didn’t really know how to respond and pointed out this was a changing room and equally, she could have gone to the family room. She said the room was too small for her and her friend together and I was completely inappropriate.

She then rushed the kids out and said she’d be speaking to the manager on her way out.

There was no one else in this part of the changing rooms but several women (in various states of undress) popped their heads around the corner to see what the fuss was about. I was mortified so just got dressed and packed up as fast as I could.

When I left, I mentioned what had happened to the receptionist who said that someone had made a complaint about inappropriateness with young children in the changing room! She said they had flagged it to the manager who would be in tomorrow (now today) who will review it.

Im due to go at lunchtime and can’t quite believe it.

Was it unreasonable to have been (momentarily) topless in front of young children?

Completely agree! I took my son into the female changing rooms up to the age of 8. It was my job to keep him facing me/the wall so the women could walk around in whatever state of undress they wanted to without a small child staring at them.

And to a PP - I would feel the same if it was the men's changing room. We can either not look, or go elsewhere.

I was literally about to comment the same thing 😂even by the harbour i have seen boobs in the afternoon while children are there!

Hmm difficult one, but there's no way I would get my boobs out in front of an 8 year old boy. However, the Mum's reaction was totally OTT. You know in a changing room that there may be nakedness.

Odd, prudish woman! You weren't flashing - just quickly and discreetly getting dressed. You are not at fault here at all!

Counter complain. They're in your territory, so they need to get over it!! I still remember being in the mens going swimming with my dad and seeing all the willies 😂

I'm totally on YANBU OP.

For posters to say you exposed yourself is ridiculous. You're getting dressed in an open plan changing room. It's not as if you paraded up and down the bloody space! If the woman doesn't want her children to see other peoples bodies and women's breasts then she should not be exposing them to this environment.

All very ridiculous really!

Because she bloody dosen't have to. She was using the appropriate FEMALE changing space.
Why were the family not using the family space?

I wouldn't have said anything, but I would have found it an odd thing to do when theres an adult only area available, I would have probably assumed you had some cognitive issues and not confronted you because of that though unless you seemed to be actively trying to be an exhibitionist.

I can't understand choosing to be topless infront of a boy who is upper primary school age instead of going to a cubicle or the adult only area. At 8 they're not like toddlers who have no awareness.

Erm, calm down🙄

My 8 year old son actually has a swimming lesson later and his uncle will be taking him because DH can't today, and I don't feel able to take him into the ladies changing room anymore, but going into the mens on his own isn't an option either just yet.

I would feel wrong taking off my bra in front of an 8 year old boy and, as evidenced above, I also wouldn't take my 8 year old son into ladies changing rooms so I think you're all in the wrong really. She should have used a family changing room but then when she didn't you were odd to just strip off in front of a child that old.

If you were facing away and they could only see your back it’s fine, if you were facing them with your bra off then YABU.

Don't be so bloody ridiculous. How condescending are you? OP was in a FEMALE CHANGING ROOM. The family could have chosen to get changed in the designated family changing room but instead they chose to go into the female one.
It was up to the parent of the 8 year old to make sure he was in the appropriate changing area.

I hope it was a satisfactory meeting. This country has such a fucking massive hang up about nudity.

Nope. Only person in the wrong was the child's mother.
OP was in a designated Female changing area.

Cognitive issues for using the changing room in the intended manner?!
If the children are old enough to be embarrassed or to take too much of an interest in someone minding their own business, it's on the adult/s accompanying them to rectify that by either taking them elsewhere or explaining to them about keeping their eyes to themselves.

There was an adult only area, meaning she was in the area intended for children, which the mums were using for children.
The purpose of the adult only area is to allow adults to change out of sight of children using the area intended for children to be in.

I get your point but in that situation myself I would not have taken my bra off.

Sick and tired of pearl clutching around nakedness. Bodies are not inherently sexual. She’s just going to give her kids problematic relationships with women’s bodies and it makes me depressed. YWNBU, she’s being ridiculous.

The female one has an adult only area, so most people would be able to deduce that the area not labelled "adult only" is for adults accompanied by children.

No, you've got it arse upwards.

The entirety of the women's changing room except the adults only section is for women, with or without children.

The adults only section of the women's changing room is for women without children.

I can't understand choosing to inflict your 8 year old son on women getting changed when there is a family room available.

It’s how I learned about bodies, child & adult. In changing rooms, when I was young. Nobody was flashing, just dressing!

Yes but as many pp have said this is for adults who want a quieter changing experience, not to shield children. If it was your meaning the main bit would be called 'family-only' or something (not that a pool would designate like that)

Let’s hope this mother doesn’t take her kids to a water park in Denmark, that changing room was wall to wall naked people strolling about. She’d be in for a real shock

No it wouldn't. If you take a child into a changing room you may see naked bodies. If a man takes a child in a male changing room they may say naked men. I read some of this thread out to my DH and he said you would be guaranteed to see willies in a male changing room as men don't bother to hide away! The OP was in a place she is entitled to be. The 8 year old boy was not. Therefore the responsibility was on the parent to make adjustments.