To have been half naked in front of other children?

[BrieEncounter]

I had an encounter yesterday that has made me question myself and whether what I did was inappropriate.

I regularly swim at my local health club and often go during my lunchtimes. With summer holidays there are lots of children there which is, of course, absolutely fine.

The club has separate changing areas: a large open room to one side for families with children (with baby change etc), a large female only changing area that also has at the back a section for ‘adults only’..and then the same for men’s.

I got changed in my usual spot which is in the female changing rooms, but not in the ‘adult only’ section.

When I returned from swimming there were a couple of women also in this area wrangling their children. The kids were all boys but very young: I’d say eldest was 8ish so not old enough to go into the men’s rooms
alone.

I didn’t think much of it and started to get changed after a shower. I’d got my shorts on under my towel and was putting my bra on. I dropped the towel but then realised the straps had loosened so I took it off, adjusted the straps and put it back on again. I had my bra off for maybe 30 seconds whilst doing this.

As I was putting my top on, one of the women started shouting at me and accusing me of flashing her children. That if I was going to be naked I should move to the ‘adults only’ section. I didn’t really know how to respond and pointed out this was a changing room and equally, she could have gone to the family room. She said the room was too small for her and her friend together and I was completely inappropriate.

She then rushed the kids out and said she’d be speaking to the manager on her way out.

There was no one else in this part of the changing rooms but several women (in various states of undress) popped their heads around the corner to see what the fuss was about. I was mortified so just got dressed and packed up as fast as I could.

When I left, I mentioned what had happened to the receptionist who said that someone had made a complaint about inappropriateness with young children in the changing room! She said they had flagged it to the manager who would be in tomorrow (now today) who will review it.

Im due to go at lunchtime and can’t quite believe it.

Was it unreasonable to have been (momentarily) topless in front of young children?

YANbu. At our DL the adult only area is very small and to my mind it’s to protect adults from being bothered by small children rather than the other way around. DL provides appropriate family changing areas if you want to keep your children away from other adult nudity. Rest assured she was totally out of line.

You were absolutely fine
Stand up for yourself
You were in the ladies
She should of been in the family area

The woman was out of order! I fully expect to see naked bodies in women’s changing rooms and wouldn’t think twice, my children wouldn’t notice and I myself probably drop my towel to put my bra on!

It’s only boobs ffs.

YANBU

i dont think the concerned parent should be being effectively ridiculed.

i do, because she is being absolutely ridiculous. Women's changing rooms aren't a free for all for anyone who wants to use them. They are for women. If you do take your child in there, most of us have no issue, but do not expect us to change our behaviour to accommodate them.

Not unreasonable.
While I wouldn't want boys of any age seeing ME topless (I'm 21 itr), it was entirely up to you. It's a FEMALE dressing room - if anything, they shouldn't be in there.

Nakedness in single sex changing rooms is normal and expected. I personally want to get changed as fast and efficiently as possible, and therefore do not bother with some shimmy of 1000 towels dance, so nobody could glimpse any flesh. People who have issues with others being naked in a place where nakedness is expected should make their own alternative arrangements.

You’re fine. We have a similar set up on our local gym/ swim class and the only issue I have had was with one older lady who insists on coming to family area to stand starkers and use the hair dryer to dry her bush in front of everyone.

She was, it also had a designated female space, which she was in. It also had a designated family space which the family group chose not to use.

So if you were there with your dc and there were other families there with their dc you couldn’t get changed yourself because you would have been naked in front of the other family’s children?

can you see how ridiculous that sounds?

She was being ridiculous. Nour local fun pool has open changing rooms with 2 cubicles, if when there with my kids we tried to wait for a cubicle and not change in front of children we'd never get changed. I appreciate she can take her 8yo old son in there, I usedto take my son but honestly I was more worried about him upsetting women or other little girls than the other way round. I mean he's not going to be traumatised by a quick flash of boob in a swimming pool. It's all about context which some people seem to have lost sight of. If David Lloyd make an issue out of this and side with her ridiculous view then I would consider voting with my feet and leaving....honestly the money they bloody charge they ought to be able to provide individual rooms to change in.

She was unreasonable. If there is a family room available then you use it. She isn't joined at the hip with her friend and they could have taken turns to get their own children dressed. If you proceed to take your children (male or female) in a women's only changing space then yes they might see other people's bits. If that bothers you then change in the loos or use a family room.

You did nothing wrong and actually I'd complain about her.

Storm in a c-cup - YWNBU

Agree with this and everybody else saying similar.
She’s a loon.
I’d actually make a counter-complaint. An accusation of flashing children and behaving inappropriately in this way is serious and could potentially be very damaging to you personally.

Not in my opinion, no.

I can remember being extremely pissed off in a changing room when the woman infront bent over to dry her legs with no knickers on and gave me an unsolicited view of her insides. If it had been something like that I probably would have been annoyed. A stray boob falling out a bra while the owner is trying to deal with it wouldn’t have even registered. She’s being a dick.

The post doesn't state that OP had a child with her. Therefore , with an adult only section available why not use it.

if she thinks small children seeing breasts is bad, wait until she hears that some women even put them inside their mouths!!! 😱😱😱

She’s clearly never been on a beach holiday in Europe 🤣

Only Fans for that (apparently)

If I am reading it right, you were in the correct place and the women with the male children were actually in the wrong place - they should have been in the family area, not the female area. I would have calmly pointed this out to them - they were being very entitled to expect you to alter your behaviour in the female changing area to suit their male children.

I think this pp is referring to those with the children using the family area, not OP.
OP was absolutely fine in a female area, the male children weren't.

Oh it was a David Lloyd? I've twice had other members have a go at me there for stupid things. Never in any other club or leisure centre. It does seem to attract upright nutters.

It's a changing room. There was a room she could have gone to, and could have taken it in turns with her friend if she was that bothered.

If she doesn't want her children seeing bodies, a changing room definitely isn't the place to be taking them!