Are there benefits to waiting for months before you have sex?

[Ilovepastafortea]

OK, I lay my cards on the table. Met DH in the early 1980's been married since 1988. Neither of us were virgins - him less so than me as he was a randy good-looking bloke. 😂

Never occurred to me to have sex on our first or even 6th date. Well, probably occurred to him, but I was 'good girl' & we first had sex after about 6 months together. He says that was the longest any girl had 'kept him waiting', but he always knew that I was 'the one' & rather liked it that I wasn't like other girlfriends he'd had who had sex on 1st or 2nd dates & the quick shags that he had. He always says that I was worth waiting for & the fact that I didn't have sex with him until I was sure of him made it all the better.

Just posting for opinions having only had sex with the same man for more than 40 years & still I love spending an afternoon in bed with him. He's the best & I love & fancy the very bones of that man. I'm one lucky woman. 😍

Guess what I've been doing today - that man still does it for me! 😉

I don’t want to have sex with somebody just looking for sex so want them to see themselves out before we ever have sex.

Yep. Both sound incredibly problematic.

I think it's best to do what you're comfortable with. Some people enjoy ONS even if they don't lead anywhere and some people don't so are probably better off waiting. I think when you're younger you have to work out what your preference is here.

Often read threads on here about an OP having sex on 2nd or 3rd date, then radio silence.
So often best hanging out a bit longer if you think someone maybe relationship material.

Weird post 😂

I think that waiting until you are in a committed relationship benefits the woman. Women release oxytocin when they have sex which bonds the m to the the man whether they like it or not. If he buggers off and never calls again this is distressing for the woman who, up until about 50 years ago could very likely be carrying his child with little choice about giving birth or not. Casual sex is biologically and emotionally a high risk enterprise for woman and it just isn't for men. Therefore my feminist view is to wait until he wants to commit to you or is clearly in love. Then see if you are sexually compatible.

Weeks maybe, not months. Our sex drive was too high to wait months. Sexual compatibility is important too.

Bit mysogynistic with all the good girl language, and very dated outlook. Can I ask gently are you both quite elderly now, that’s the sort of attitude you saw about half a century ago, well apart from wanting to tell everyone you had sex today which utterly made me cringe,

Some men definitely will go on a date to have sex once and “collect their wings” (i.e have an experience they always wanted such as “shag a fat/ginger/black/asian/blonde/dwarf/much older/ much younger etc. chick).

But never want to date a woman like that seriously for whatever reason.
It’s not true that he will necessarily come back if he likes the sex or may stick around for sex and sex alone. Waiting for sex helps weed those men out if you want to weed them out.

He sounds like a sexist pig, op. So, he liked you for being ‘a good girl’ who kept him waiting, whereas he was happy to fuck whoever would have him. Yuk. I don’t envy you.

Well obviously he's going to say waiting made it better.

"Are you glad we waited?"

"Nah, makes no difference really. Makes you no better than the lovely ladies I spent time with before I met you who I also had crazy good sex with."

Whatever works for you. I’m a third date girl but I wouldn’t criticise those who are trying them out on a first date or those who prefer to wait.

It depends on what you want/like. Personally, I’ve never liked having sex with people I don’t know well. But I know other people feel differently about it. It’s all good, so long as there’s no pressure either way.

Agreed

Agreed.

No benefits whatsoever (bless you don’t actually want sex, I suppose). Much to big a risk to fall for someone and then discover they’re dreadful in bed, have incompatible kinks, or are impotent. I always had sex as soon as possible when I was single and looking. It was useful as a way of weeding out the ones you didn’t want, quite apart from anything else.

Agree with this….

Often read threads on here about an OP having sex on 2nd or 3rd date, then radio silence.
So often best hanging out a bit longer if you think someone maybe relationship material.

But if they will only stay with you because you played games and "waited", then best to find that out, and at least you get a fuck out of it.

Exactly. Having sex early weeds out wankers as well as guys who are dreadful/selfish/lazy/inept in bed. It’s a useful part of early dating.

I’ve always fucked on a first date. Been with dh 14 years now.

First night we met, still together 20 odd years and still have a great time.

I doubt he didn’t have sex for 6 months

2nd time I met DH. Got to try before you buy!

I've pretty much always had sex the first time, including with DH. Can't think of any benefits to waiting months.

Sorry, typos. Should have said ‘UNLESS you don’t actually want sex’ and ‘TOO big a risk’.