To feel like I’ve wasted my life

[WastedMyPotential]

I’m 26, live at home and have no chance of buying a house before I’m 30.

I’ve spent the last three years doing a job I’ve hated, because I thought it was right for me. Get to the end, I’m a couple of months away from qualifying as a solicitor, and I realise how much I hate it, so I’m starting over in the NHS soon. (Three days before qualifying)

I’ve got two degrees and a potential masters (if I resit the exams), but what do I have to show for it? I’ve never had a relationship because I’ve focussed on university and exams since I was 18. I’m still on minimum wage, I’ve got nothing really going for me.

I just feel like I’ve completely wasted my life. I’ve qualified as a solicitor when I hate it, I’ve done everything my family expected of me, and I still feel empty and hopeless. I just wonder “what was the point”

I am also a lover of travelling, whether in UK or abroad. This is because you will see life from a different perspective. You will have the opportunity to meet people.
Travel does not need to be expensive if you look outside all school holiday times.

Firstly well done on your qualifications so far - you are clearly very hard working. Plus congratulations on your NHS job. If it's a lower band role hopefully it won't be too stressful and will allow you time to broaden your social life & explore your outside interests & you never know you might just meet that Mr Right!
I have a few friends in non-clinical roles in the NHS and they have moved quite quickly between roles and up through the bands into very interesting roles earning good salaries.
Please don't be too hard on yourself. Be proud that you have chosen to step away from a career that you weren't enjoying. Enjoy your new job!

Going to Cornwall for 10 days is a great idea. I go to the seaside for a respite.

Pay into a work pension

You will thank me when you are 60+

Yes I’ve heard really good things about the NHS, I have multiple friends and family in non-clinical roles who adore it and, like you say, believe it will open up my social circle a lot. My mum is convinced I’ll end up managing the entire place and falling in love with it 🤣

It's great that you're seeing it through and qualifying. Have the means to earn a professional wage and provide your own living, home and security - plus security for children if you have them - is hardly a waste of time. Maybe it's because your parents are kind enough to still be providing a home for you that you don't realise what a huge deal this is. You have the luxury of pursuing a different career, knowing that you have something solid to fall back on, and you're only 26. You've done really well, OP.

Think about what you really want to do and then change careers.

Plenty of people change careers.

Do you just not want to be a practicing solicitor? Could you find a job that lets you use your qualification e.g. in house legal team for a local authority?

Married life and children can be quite boring and unfulfilled. You are very young and have your whole life ahead of you. But try and think carefully before you commit yourself to anything new.

Do it! Sack it in- find a good man to marry and start a family- you will not regret it! I’m 27 currently sat in my garden watching my 3 year old DS and 1 year old DD play together. Dinner is cooking for when DH gets back from work and there’s muffins cooking in the oven.
this is what life is about!
it’s not too late for you!

Out of interest, what move did you make in your 40s to enjoy practising law? Did you move in-house or switch to a PSL role? Just interested, because I’m considering a similar move now.

Don't give up on your career because of a shit job. Try being a solicitor in a firm that actually interests you, with people nearer to your age maybe.

What if the good man leaves or dies? As we see all day on MN.

I think it’s more private practice than anything else. I hate being a cog in a machine where my worth is valued in 6 minute increments and where I need to justify a toilet break or a coffee run (to the kitchen!). I hate that I’ve billed three times my salary in four months of the financial year but I’ll only get a £100 bonus at Christmas. I hate that I’ve spent so long on qualifying and studying that I’ve missed out on so much, like having a boyfriend or going for drinks. I just feel like it’s sucked my soul from me a little

Please please finish your law education if you’re so close to the end. You’re so young, you don’t know if it will be useful in the future even if you don’t want to be a lawyer right now.
And no - you haven’t wasted your life, it’s all before you waiting to be enjoyed

Well if you put up with working as a solicitor between 9 and 5, you will be able to afford that lifestyle.

Work to live, OP, not live to work.

Your job doesn’t have to be forever, nor does it have to be your purpose and meaning in life, it just has to bring in enough money for you to live on and bring up a family (if that’s what you want).

I suggest working as a solicitor for now, while working out what else you’d like to do. There is no time limit on this decision, but you’ll have more options open to you once you have a bit of money saved up and a decent job on your CV.

I'm in-house for a small trade association. Quite niche but these roles do pop up from time to time.

Can you not work for the CPS?

@WastedMyPotentialyou are highly capable. you like F1 and football. Apply for a role within that field. Find your niche. Your future kids will be thankful for all the savings you can spend on them if you choose to take a back seat in your career for a little while. Not everyone can be in your position- appreciate that. Don’t enter another training programme. The NHS can suck joy out of you as well and you may find you are unable to help people the way you think

Life insurance- make sure you are married and most importantly marry the right man!

I think you're brave to make the move, good for you! It also sounds quite promising that they've already mentioned you moving up quickly.

I say give it 5 years, go hard. Sort out your retirement fund, work on saving a decent home deposit and plan your holidays. Maybe you can sort those out around F1 and football, so you've got regular things to look forward to.

Make sure that you also plan to spend a bit more time around people your own age, friends, relatives, workmates, whatever, but at least two social type activities with different people twice a week. They don't have to be expensive, but something to widen your social circle and have a bit more fun.

Wishing you well.

Without sounding like I’m a prick, you are so young and have worked really hard. It sounds like you need a break.
I really hope that you achieve your dreams.

Btw, you don’t have to do everything right away and you don’t have to get it right the first time either. Take your time.

My most recent work bonus was £20 !

You haven't wasted your life by any means at all - look how much you've achieved before even reaching 30. They may not be achievements you value, but nevertheless they ARE achievements, and you should be proud of yourself. I bet it's taken an enormous amount of work and dedication to get those qualifications.

And now that you've got them, sit back and take stock. You've got a fantastic platform from which to launch yourself when you're ready - you have a proven academic record, and what sounds like a supportive family.

And, like some other posters, I'd suggest thinking about teaching. My oldest ds got a science degree and went to work in the city. He came home one day having jacked it in and got himself on a pgcl course. I nearly fell off my chair when he told me - he is the last person in the world I ever thought would want to go into teaching, and truthfully I didn't know if he'd like it.

He loves it. He's taught in a couple of schools in the UK, and last year he signed a 2 year contract to teach in Phuket. Doesn't know where he'll go next but he's having fun thinking about it!

You will get where you want to get. Sending positive thoughts.

OP you're only 26 - you've got years to work out what you want to do.

In the meantime you should go travelling. My dd is currently in Australia having saved up a little bit from her bar job. She travelled and is now working in a bar in Australia. Having the time of her life. It doesn't have to be expensive.

I'd also say you sound very fed up, possibly depressed, certainly defeated. But you do need to change your mindset. If your priority is a husband and children, then you need to do something to get that - they won't find you. And I'd suggest that a husband will be much more attracted to you if you are excited about life and the endless possibilities. And I'll go against the grain (as a solicitor) - perhaps you should have tried qualifying into a different firm, possibly in a big city. You may not love the work, but the social life is exciting and it does set you up for other careers.