To find these comments from new mum friend intensely irritating

[HopalongHorace]

A friend has recently had a baby and I’m getting “first person in the world to ever have a baby” vibes and starting to find it irritating. For context I have a 8 month old and a few other girls in our friendship group also have had babies in the past year or so. Naturally everyone was thrilled when friend got pregnant as it’s something she’s wanted for a while, but was waiting to meet the right partner (which she now has).

I’ll give some examples of comments she has made -

Is it normal to not let the baby out of your sight and just want to look at them all the time, I don’t know how other mums get anything done as I just can’t stop staring at Kevin (not his real name)

I know everyone says it’s amazing when you have a baby but for me it’s just something more, this incredible bond like nothing else, a very unique thing between me and Kevin

Gosh I don’t know how you can bear to leave your baby (I recently left mine with my sister for 4 hours for the first time), I don’t think I could leave Kevin as our bond is too strong and he needs me

Maybe I’m being sensitive but it feels like she thinks she loves Kevin more than the rest of us love our kids (which I don’t think is true), has anyone else experienced this or AIBU?

I definitely said some unhinged things in the first 6 months. The combination of very little sleep and not really having normal adult conversations that are not about the baby in that time can make you lose perspective. She is annoying you sure, but actually she might be very lonely and Kevin is her whole world right now. I remember I spent so long in my little village with my baby as we werr both unwell that when I finally went to the town shopping centre nearby I felt like I was in a foreighn country, they had a german sausage stand and I remember thinking, wow, how multicultural 😂she will come out of her bubble soon. Or not, I personally dont think I have ever gone back to 'normal'.

I went out with a Kevin in my youth. There have been babies called Kevin😂

Annoying but it is ultimately harmless and will pass.

I doubt she really thinks you love your kids any less. More likely looking for reasurance on things she is doing differently to you.

If you take what she says as a reflexion on your own parenting, then that's on you. You need to sort out that insecurity. Imagine hearing a new Mother express her absolute joy at being a Mother and thinking 'jist you wait' well some people feel joy even when their babies are older as well. How will you cope if she doesn't grow to hate it? You are making an issue out of nothing here. And it's women like you (and others on this thread) who create the false idea that women brag about their children to put other women down. It's just a way to get women to think they should hate each other.

She’s brimming with love hormones. Cut her some slack!!

Agree

Oh gosh, that would wind me right up.

I think we all THINK it. My baby was the cutest, most intelligent, most perfect baby that had ever been and I loved her more than any human had ever loved. I believed that in my heart, but my head knew it was bollocks, and I'd have never said it out loud.

There is a difference in saying things like 'I love my child more than anything in the world and never want to be away from them' and 'how could anyone else leave their child for a second'

Nothing in the world anyone can say about parenting would make me feel judged personally but I can say I have never ever said things about other parents to convince myself and I am perfect or better parent than anyone else

And no excuses like new mums are also neurotic and insane or how anyone else wants to judge it make it any better

I was a perfectly sane normal person before my child was born and I was the samd once I had a child

I will stand by thinking parents who think the whole world had to stop and change because they have done something thousands of women do every day are off their trolley, but no it doesn't personally make me think anything different to my own parenting, I do wonder how the increase in child mental health issues come about but at times it isn't that hard to work out why

I think it's lovely she is enjoying it so much and telling the world so.

Why put a damper on her joy?

But you're eight months in. You probably gushed as well. As the childfree person in my friend group: all of my friends did. They just don't (want to?) remember it.

My only worry is if Kevin ends up as an only child, her ‘special bond with him’ can make him a mama’s boy.

Some people have main character personality, so they go on and on about what they are doing or believing in that moment. OP’s friend sounds like one.

He's a newborn baby. You can turn of the panic sirens at the awful thought that he might realise he's loved for a fucking minute.

She is being a little thoughtless but it sounds like she's wrapped up in her babymoon and is possibly genuinely taken aback by the intensity of her own feelings. She'll calm down and likely cringe at herself in years to come.

Me neither, but with each of mine there was a period of a good couple of months weeks where I regarded other parents with pity and sorrow because their babies were so obviously less perfect than mine.

No need to be so bitchy.

She's a very happy and capable child, I just prefer to have her with me and am not desperate to bin her off like these miserable mummies 😀

Nothing wrong with actually liking having your child with you, if you're so offended by the concept you might want to think about why that is.

😂

Lol there's always a fence between me and the horses if my daughter is in the sling, I never handle the horses while she's with me. I don't take any risks with her safety but thanks for your concern 😉

Nurseries are good for socialisation but if you think they're going to murder your child then it's your right not to use them. No one is making you.

Good for you! There's nothing wrong with being attached to your baby!

It's such a shame all these nasty women need to take the piss out of women who are attached to their babies and make snide comments about how she will be dying to hand her baby off in 6 months to anyone who will have him. Spoiler, I didn't and she may not either! That will really annoy them won't it!

Ah don’t overthink it, she’s just verbalising what everyone secretly thinks anyway - our own babies are always the most loved/precious/special.

Just smile and nod.

Awwww the new born stage is so special. I remember spending hours just staring at my brand new baby.

try to be kind to her - I’m sure her hormones are all over the place. Maybe have some stock replies like above when she’s being like this?

If Kevin is still very new then your friend is still in the whirlwind of shock and awe. She will stop soon.

I haven't claimed I love my baby any more than else.

I just find the culture of telling mums that are attached to their babies that "They will see!! They'll be desperate to palm them off on anyone who will have them for half an hour in two months!!" Weird and sad. It's very often not true, they just want it to be, for some strange reason. It was repeated to me a lot when my daughter was born, id be desperate to get rid of her for an hour by the time she's 6 months old! Then that came and went and people said I'd be desperate to get rid of her for a few hours by 8 months! Then that came and went. People have only just stopped telling me I'll be desperate to get rid of her a for a few hours soon and she's 15 months.

Why are women so hell-bent on telling other women how desperate they will be to palm their kids off for an hour in the future so that they can presumably laugh at them and say see! That baby love haze didn't last did it!? It's just mean spirited and sad.