To find these comments from new mum friend intensely irritating

[HopalongHorace]

A friend has recently had a baby and I’m getting “first person in the world to ever have a baby” vibes and starting to find it irritating. For context I have a 8 month old and a few other girls in our friendship group also have had babies in the past year or so. Naturally everyone was thrilled when friend got pregnant as it’s something she’s wanted for a while, but was waiting to meet the right partner (which she now has).

I’ll give some examples of comments she has made -

Is it normal to not let the baby out of your sight and just want to look at them all the time, I don’t know how other mums get anything done as I just can’t stop staring at Kevin (not his real name)

I know everyone says it’s amazing when you have a baby but for me it’s just something more, this incredible bond like nothing else, a very unique thing between me and Kevin

Gosh I don’t know how you can bear to leave your baby (I recently left mine with my sister for 4 hours for the first time), I don’t think I could leave Kevin as our bond is too strong and he needs me

Maybe I’m being sensitive but it feels like she thinks she loves Kevin more than the rest of us love our kids (which I don’t think is true), has anyone else experienced this or AIBU?

Well actually no. I don't understand them. There are many things that people do that I can understand despite not doing them myself and some things I can't because it just makes no sense to me. Leaving a young baby for a whole weekend when it's barely been born and biologically needs its mother to feel safe is one of them. I just simply cannot understand why anyone would do that to a baby they love.

If you can't understand that and think I'm being performative in my "horror" it's time for some self reflection of your own. You're the one peddling phrases like "stealing other mothers joy" 🙄 Joy cannot be stolen. No one gushing about their baby or saying they wouldn't put them in nursery before two has zero impact on how I feel about my baby or our bond, why would it? I know how much I love them. If someone else gushing about how much they love their baby makes OP feel insecure, that's on her. Of she was truly full of joy, no one would be able to take it from her. She certainly wouldn't need 6 pages of bitchy come backs to put a new mum down.

You're all missing the point of what I wrote, I'm not judging mums for needing to leave their kids or even wanting to. I'm proving the point that not everyone is desperate to get rid of their kids after 6 months like everyone told me I would be and everyone here saying new mum will be. I was guaranteed id be desperate to palm her off for a few hours by people around me by 3 months, then 6, then 8, then when she could walk. As each milestone age I was guaranteed to be sick of her by came and went they would just invent a new one. Ridiculous. 15 months and walking and still not desperate to get rid of her for a few hours and people have finally got the memories that I actually enjoy being with her and stopped harping on about it. It's the projection of misery on new mothers that is so depressing and spiteful.

And btw, I wrote poems and made collages and all the rest, it's not "cringe" or something to look back on and laugh at, to then laugh at others doing it and telling them they will wake up soon and be glad to chuck them at anyone willing to babysit. It's a genuine expression of love, which your child will love to read when they're older because it's actually really fucking important for children to know they're loved. I'm so sick of it being normalised that mums all joke about how they can't wait to bin their kids off at the weekend and mummy needs wine because the kids are feral so one day new mum will realise how awful Kevin is! It's depressing.

Wow. Nerve, touched! 😂

Your hypocrisy about being unpleasant and hysterical is hilarious.

It’s definitely a stage and I think it’s caused by the new mum hormones. I’ve had some very patronising comments from friends with little ones, I was a young mum and some friends have pretty much forgotten my DCs exist.
It’s quite interesting that their personality before having DC didn’t seem to predict whether this phase would happen. So friends I thought would be very precious first born weren’t and I didn’t see it coming at all with some others. They seem to come out of it by the time the kids are around 3 but it’s a boring and slightly irritating phase.

Let her enjoy her new mum status ( and roll your eyes hard for the next 18 years).

Imagine thinking a new mum overcome with love for her baby is competitive and sly. What a miserable outlook on life.

My first thought was that she might be trying to convince herself - that she's not finding it as easy as she makes out, and trying to throw people off the scent by making these lovey-dovey pronouncements which sound a bit over the top. Few new first-time parents really talk like that, but some might assume it's expected of them. If I'm right, then when things get on top of her she might find it harder to admit to than someone who was more realistic right from the start. I'd keep her on my radar just in case the time comes when she needs a bit of reassurance.

Of course she might just really be that happy, in which case I'd be happy for her.

Completely agree.
Genuinely nice women, who are just getting on with motherhood, good days, hard days, do not seek to score points off others.
Even a hint of it in a woman and I actively avoided.
Too busy to waste MY precious time in such tedious company.

First time mum syndrome on steroids. Just ignore or say something about how irritating she's being be truthful. It might hurt her feelings but better in the long run as people get so bored of this crap and start avoiding and laughing about her behind her back.

No one minds people being besotted by their babies. We all are. My 1st baby I couldn't imagine abetter looking more perfect person in the world. Could never imagine loving anyone as much. I kept my thoughts to myself, I was very judgey in my head, about breastfeeding weaning everything. I got over myself. Other mothers will resent and dislike you if you criticise and judge their mothering skills and imply that you are perfect. Calm down love.

I think you're being a bit harsh op. When you have a newborn you do get those feelings of feeling overwhelmed with love, and combined with sleep deprivation it makes you a bit crazy. I don't think she sounds judgmental, she is just processing those strong crazy feelings of baby love. The stereotype of new mums thinking their new baby is the most wonderful baby ever exists because it's true!

Another one missing the point. I'm not implying I'm perfect, I'm trying to explain to the grumpy Gertrudes who can't wait for Kevin to turn into a arsehole that his mum can't stand so that they can laugh at her that it's not guaranteed to happen. When people start taking pot shots at my parenting I will respond, I think that's normal.

I find most mothers of young children unbearable to be around and just continue life with the friends I already had after seeing the neuroticism in baby and toddler groups, I couldn't care less if they like me or not, I certainly don't enjoy their company!

OP and several others here seem to find new mothers annoying. Just stop hanging out with them then. It's not hard and much more rational behaviour than bleating on about "stealing their joy".

As I said before calm down love. Life is too short.

I'm perfectly calm and having a relaxing day thanks.

YNBU She must have one of those easy newborns, the ones that are all sleepy and sweet and snuggles. Just wait and don't laugh when the toddlering happens.