Why is he acting like this

[Clarkeroyce]

So I met this man on a dating app; I switched my location to the state I was moving to. I ended up matching with him, and we just clicked and started talking and FaceTimingfor hours throughout the day. He started to become mean and standoffish, yet he would still call me with that attitude? I cut it loose and told him I was losing interest because of his attitude and the back-and-forth banter we had. He agreed and said, “Me too.” He would also send me money after our arguments…

About a month goes by, and I started following him on social media again; he admittedly called me right after that. We started back talking off and on.

Anyways, I have a trip planned in a few weeks to his state, which is the state I’m moving to. I’m going down there just to check it out. He’s been inconsistent and hot and cold. He even told me that he’s not looking for anything at the moment right now. I accepted that. I recently told him that we weren’t compatible just based off of what we are both looking for. He got all upset and said, “Well, why are you talking to me? Why do you want me to fly you out? If we’re not compatible, you’re just trying to use me.” Why would we be compatible if you’re not looking for anything……?

He suggested that he would pay for my room on the days I saw him… I was firm when I said I’m going down there and I’m not seeing anyone; I’m going there to take care of business. He got all upset and said, “When you get down here, don’t ask me for shit then; don’t text or call me if you have a problem since you don’t want to see me.”

Why would I be going down to a state and seeing a man that doesn’t want anything from me at this time and has been inconsistent with me? This trip is for me and me seeing things for myself in a place that I’m moving to. He also started naming apartments, trying to guess what apartment I’m moving to…. He’s so determined to find where I’m going to be living?? Yet he plays these mind games ever since we started back talking… He gets upset and jealous yet is playing kind games. I want take my trip and it be peaceful, I HAVE NEVER MET THIS MAN, FYI.

Thoughts?

You’ve never even met this man! A relationship at that stage shouldn’t be this hard. Block and delete him and move on.

Thoughts???? Block and never have anything to do with this man again. Why did you start following him again? Maybe work on setting better boundaries.

Stop taking money from this man.

You've clearly missed out a lot of information (like how this man who is passively sending you money without any influence from you even got your bank details in the first place) but most people would think if someone if coming to your town and wants you to pay for their hotel, they want to see you.

You don't want a relationship but you started following him on social media and reinitiated communication. You don't want to see him but are fine with him paying for your trip.

If he's "flying you out" then I assume he's paying for the flights too?

Leave him alone.

He doesn’t want a relationship. He offered to send me money through pay pall. Also offered to fly me out in that past. He recently offered to pay for my room if I seen him. I’m not asking him for money.

Why don't you just block him? I don't get why you're even engaging with him in at all.

Normal people who don't want to see people don't tell them that they're travelling to their city. If I had a friend in Paris that I didn't want to see, I wouldn't tell them that I'm going to Paris.

I assume you sent his money back? Never does a man say "hey, this is a fun conversation, let me pay you for it" and I've ever thought "that's sweet, sure, here's my paypal info".

Like I said, leave him alone.

You’re not a hooker OP. This should have been nipped in the bud when the attitude started. He obviously treats women like commodities.

Dont follow him on social media. Cut him loose properly. Block. Delete.

if you want to find someone, then do. But don’t waste anymore time on this person. If you do, you’re just addicted to the drama

I think you need to get a hold of yourself and stop this nonsense.

Stop following him on social media and stop talking to him.

It reads like an episode of Judge Judy.

I don't get this either. He's a nutter you've met online. You're leading him on by taking money off him and then when he backs off you reinitiate contact.

You've never met him so stop taking money off him, block him and move on. It's not complicated but you're not helping yourself here at all

no, why are you acting like this? Why are you leading him on, following him on SM, telling him you're coming to his town and accepting money? You both agreed this is not what you're looking for, so stop it.

Why are you still speaking to him?

Do not accept money from him - return every single penny or cent of it !
People do not send / give money for nothing !
Block and delete !!!

How did he send tou money after these arguments? Was it from bank info you gave him?

Hes partly right you are using him. But he sounds controlling and mental.

The whole thing sounds horrible and youre half the problem

Don't give it headspace but move on

It sounds like he's playing with you and enjoying the power

No, but you're taking it from him anyway. You're asking about how he's acting, but you're not exactly covering yourself in glory here. You are absolutely giving him signals that you are interested, either in him or his cash. Block him and stop selling yourself on the Internet.

Sounds like OP is playing with him and enjoying the power, tbh

Wtf are you doing? Stop messaging him

So why did he say “don’t ask me for shit” when you arrive? Sounds very much like you’ve been asking him for money/to pay for things for you in the past. Otherwise it would he a very strange thing to say to someone who had never asked for a dime. Is that why you started following him again? You were short on money?

This.

To OP I'd say...Why wouldn't you just be going there and just say I'm coming to your state, might meet you if possible.

Not having him 'fly you out'? And why do you give your bank details to people you've never met and accepted money from them.

He's a wrong 'un but you're either naive or very foolish. Just pay him the money back you took off him and block. And stop using random men for money.

Remember all the advice you got on your previous thread...take that on board